damn brehs i've really been through it in the last 8 hours.
my car broke down earlier this evening (not a lambo, i would never lie to the coli like that), i happened to be out on the outskirts of town, trying to beat the traffic rush hour traffic. anyway my phone was dead too, so i couldn't even hit AAA like that to get a jump/tow, couldn't call my wife either. so i figured i'd walk down the road to a callbox, figured those still have to exist/work right? i remember seeing them on the roads all the time growing up.
started walking down the road, mind you this was still broad day light, and i came across some teenagers. i figured, shyt all of these kids have a phone (if tiktok hasn't killed their battery yet) so i asked them if they could let me make a call. apparently they recognized me, i'm a very very very minor celebrity in my community, usually the people who would recognize me are around my age tho, not these teenagers, so i was kind of shocked.
but immediately i felt the vibes were off. their eyes looked sociopathic as fukk, like they've been listening to drill music since kindergarten. next thing i know, the teen on the right threw an icee in my face and i caught a weak ass left to the side of the head from the kid on the other side, i was barely rattled, til the one in the middle put a gun to my head. i disarmed him, but then they all started beating on me. three against one, the gun went off, thankfully no one was shot, but they stole my watch and some other jewelry.
one of the other lil mfs picked up the gun, so i went into survival mode and ran off into the field on the side of the road. they followed me like the little gen z hyenas they are. i found myself a sharp broken tree branch and armed myself in case i had to take them all out. thankfully because they were lazy ass zoomers they gave up after a few minutes and didn't continue to pursue me.
still, i am down hundreds of dollars in jewelry and a working automobile. i told my lady it's getting worked on, but i won't be able to hide it forever. i really need some help right now. i would never ask anyone i know in real life for money because they'd probably tell my wife what happened and she'd leave me because i got my ass kicked by three teenagers. this is why i have no choice but to turn to the coli. i know yall gonna hold me down.
please donate to my gofundme: Please Help TLR I Was Robbed GoFundMe
my car broke down earlier this evening (not a lambo, i would never lie to the coli like that), i happened to be out on the outskirts of town, trying to beat the traffic rush hour traffic. anyway my phone was dead too, so i couldn't even hit AAA like that to get a jump/tow, couldn't call my wife either. so i figured i'd walk down the road to a callbox, figured those still have to exist/work right? i remember seeing them on the roads all the time growing up.
started walking down the road, mind you this was still broad day light, and i came across some teenagers. i figured, shyt all of these kids have a phone (if tiktok hasn't killed their battery yet) so i asked them if they could let me make a call. apparently they recognized me, i'm a very very very minor celebrity in my community, usually the people who would recognize me are around my age tho, not these teenagers, so i was kind of shocked.
but immediately i felt the vibes were off. their eyes looked sociopathic as fukk, like they've been listening to drill music since kindergarten. next thing i know, the teen on the right threw an icee in my face and i caught a weak ass left to the side of the head from the kid on the other side, i was barely rattled, til the one in the middle put a gun to my head. i disarmed him, but then they all started beating on me. three against one, the gun went off, thankfully no one was shot, but they stole my watch and some other jewelry.
one of the other lil mfs picked up the gun, so i went into survival mode and ran off into the field on the side of the road. they followed me like the little gen z hyenas they are. i found myself a sharp broken tree branch and armed myself in case i had to take them all out. thankfully because they were lazy ass zoomers they gave up after a few minutes and didn't continue to pursue me.
still, i am down hundreds of dollars in jewelry and a working automobile. i told my lady it's getting worked on, but i won't be able to hide it forever. i really need some help right now. i would never ask anyone i know in real life for money because they'd probably tell my wife what happened and she'd leave me because i got my ass kicked by three teenagers. this is why i have no choice but to turn to the coli. i know yall gonna hold me down.
please donate to my gofundme: Please Help TLR I Was Robbed GoFundMe
