I just found the goat site..http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/

aaaaaaa

Banned
Joined
Dec 30, 2013
Messages
3,087
Reputation
585
Daps
8,271
This is just an observation that probably means nothing but, have you guys noticed that every time these guys that are cheated on
describe their family, they have 2 or more kids and mostly or all daughters?

It just seems like all of these guys have the same family makeup.

Also, these daughters are seeing this.. That vicious cycle will probably continue. :sadcam:

I think i read somewhere that pretty boys (AKA bytch nikkas) are more likely to have daughters
 

threattonature

Veteran
Joined
May 1, 2012
Messages
24,552
Reputation
3,962
Daps
79,001
He couldn't. He is a coward anyway, but we live in a remote place with my brothers in law next door all the time and I work unpredictable hours. There was no reason he'd have sex with her here.

But didn't her brothers and family all know for months. So how did they find out. Plus if they all already knew why would she fear bringing him back to the house. Not to mention you working strange unpredictable hours didn't prevent her from having sex with him at other places so she had to know when she could come or go.

Also what makes him a coward. The fact that he wouldn't fight you should be proof of just how little of a fukk he gave about her. YOU were the one hurt in the situation and fighting over your woman. He had already dismissed her. What reason would he have to fight you? He doesn't know you and doesn't owe you shyt, not even an explanation.
 

ORDER_66

I dont care anymore 2026
Joined
Feb 2, 2014
Messages
148,075
Reputation
16,449
Daps
588,789
Reppin
Queens,NY
They banned me from the reddit relationships section because i straught up called the woman who cheated a slut and she deserved to have a miserable life... i guess she didnt like hearing the truth about herself...
 

MikelArteta

Moderator
Staff member
Supporter
Joined
Apr 30, 2012
Messages
258,277
Reputation
33,049
Daps
788,116
Reppin
Champions league
Hello, this is my first post. DDay was 22 June when my WW called on facetime and told me that she had cheated one time. I started looking at the phone records and saw that the affair had been going on for about 6 weeks. After asking for the whole truth, she gave me details that seem to match what the phone records were saying. We have been married for 7 years, no kids and both Active Duty Military. Paving the way for the affair is the fact that we just had been/still are separated by military orders. Leading up to the affair we had both been having issues with the separation and didn't talk that well about it, and that I know she had been feeling attracted to the OM, who is her boss. She still works there, but will be moving in a week to an area that is a few miles away and will not have any reason for further contact. I plan on asking for a written NC when I go to visit next week.

She tells me that OM is not a factor in the decision to reconcile or divorce, but I don't know if she is being honest with me or even herself. She seems remorseful, but she recoils at the mention of reconciliation. Around 4 weeks after DDay, and 2 weeks after visiting with her during the 4th of July, we decided to get a divorce. 2 days later she called and said she thought it was a rash decision and she thought we needed time to figure out what we want. Im not sure that I can forgive enough to move on, and have been trying to work on me (180) to get through this.

I am ok with waiting for a while, I do not want a divorce, but I need to know that she knows why she cheated, why she didn't come to me with feelings of loss and attraction for another person, and that she is remorseful enough not to do it again. I agreed to the divorce because I dont want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with me and only me.

She says she doesn't know if we can ever trust again, if she can get over the guilt of what she has done, and if she can be happy with me ( a reference to the problems we were having before the affair).

I have been looking at phone records and bank accounts, I haven't been able to get into her email. I asked once and she told me she would give me the password, but was hesitant because she has transcripts of her and the OM's text messages as insurance against OM's Wife incase she tries to alter the messages to get them in touble at work. I dont want to read those messages so I didn't pursue the email connection. I don't really think that she is still in contact with him in any other way than work, but I am not sure.

Most of the time she is very receptive to my questions, my anger and my sadness, but it is like pulling teeth when I ask questions about her state of mind. I wonder if she is still in the fog.

So, ultimately, should I be patient and give her the time she says she need to decide between reconciliation and divorce? Or should I see the indecision as a decision in itself? Thanks for reading.
 

MikelArteta

Moderator
Staff member
Supporter
Joined
Apr 30, 2012
Messages
258,277
Reputation
33,049
Daps
788,116
Reppin
Champions league
On 4/29/2013, my wife finally confessed to cheating on me in the fall of 2000 while on a trip with friends. When she came home, she didn’t have the backbone to tell me, but did treat me like scum, and move out of our house, taking our 3, 4, and 7 year old kids with her. Two weeks later, she moved back in ( at my request). At that time I suspected she had cheated, because she was calling a guy in the town that she had traveled to. I called the guy and ask him if he had slept with my wife, and he said “ I’ll let her answer that.” I felt the answer then, even though she vehemently denied it.

Well, last April, she found him on FB and started talking to him. When I noticed it on the phone bill, she confessed all. She expected me to get over it immediately, and was very remorseful, and opened up all her life to me. I knew passwords, to every account she had and she understood my need for accountability. She refused to go to MC, but I went for year.
I have battled the urge for revenge cheating. I have rebuilt my destroyed self-esteem, and I honestly think I have forgiven her. I have tried to act as the father to the prodigal son, but often act as the brother.

The past week I have been really down, and often fighting the recurring thoughts of their “togetherness”, and even searching the guy up on google.

I have read on here (as a visiting non-member) that healing takes time. The pain will lessen over time, and that none of this is my fault. I truly want this marriage to work, and I am eager to find a way that this will become a testimony to God’s magnificent grace; but, my issue is that during these past few days, I am wondering if divorce is the only way for me to shake myself from it all.

Can someone please give me words of encouragement to stay?


We have been married for 22 years.
 

ORDER_66

I dont care anymore 2026
Joined
Feb 2, 2014
Messages
148,075
Reputation
16,449
Daps
588,789
Reppin
Queens,NY

This guy is an idiot... women are crazy when they cheat. psychologically they get fukked up in the head. men need to be aware of that if your clear headed use that logic and kick them out, they'll fukk you over by them going on emotions alone. that is not a person to be a partner with...
 

MikelArteta

Moderator
Staff member
Supporter
Joined
Apr 30, 2012
Messages
258,277
Reputation
33,049
Daps
788,116
Reppin
Champions league
This guy is an idiot... women are crazy when they cheat. psychologically they get fukked up in the head. men need to be aware of that if your clear headed use that logic and kick them out, they'll fukk you over by them going on emotions alone. that is not a person to be a partner with...

i don't care how many kids, how much i love her, the minute a woman cheats and i find out that's it.
 
Top