I just found the goat site..http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/

[MikelArteta]

 

[MikelArteta]

Our problems ended back in 2008 when we ended our separation and got back together again. I should mention that I am ASD and that one of my qualities is loyalty. I know my wife said she had sex with 12 guys in the four years we were separated and that they were for the most part better built than I am and better lovers (ouch). I didn't like it much, but I am dogged in my commitments and went to IC to get through it all, Wife says its in the past so don't bother.
I am a bit of a dinosaur when it comes to computers, I am 60 and married for almost 40 years. I tried to uninstall a couple of unwanted programs and I erased the start functions and many of the other programs. I went to system restore and when it got working I find a bunch of strange files on my first page (the one with all the aps) So I open them usual stuff, some accounting work, information downloads but then I open one and it has a 15 page type script of sex talk with some guy named Bill dated back in late 2010 to 2011. From what they were saying it is clear they had sex many times. Then in a file about pictures of flowers I find some 25 photos of them having sex. Her sucking him off, his ****, him pounding on her and cum dribbling out of her vagina.
Her adopted (sort of) daughter was alone at her families cottage and my wife went up and was going to stay from Weds to Fri morning and the two of them would come home. Not certain about that now.
Any way I called her up and read some of the typescript to her. First she said it wasn't her, then she said she didn't remember it, then that it was when we were separated (I reminded her that by 2010-2011 we had been back together for three years) then she said it was fiction she was writing (for what purpose, yeah I believe she's writing the newest sex novel) Her final shot was that he was dead. (he didn`t look like a zombie and so what, she was ***king some guy who wasn`t me even if it was a couple of years ago). At that point she said don`t read it any more it will bother me (yeah thanks) About 20 minutes later I came on the pictures, so I called her back and told her what was in the pictures. Again she said don`t look and I said too late.
She hung up on me and hasn`t been available since.
First, I need to get more information from her as to the length of the affair, etc. why she was refusing sex with me while she was banging him. I`d like proof that he is dead. so I know where I`m headed.
I have phoned her sister, the guy she does the accounting for and her brother. I will wait to see what I am doing before I call my family. I haven`t spoken to them in a while a I guess I`ll need to.
I know what to do. Be cordial and control my temper. Speak to her about the regular things but not our relationship. Suggest marriage counselling. Separate my accounts, find a good lawyer and have her served. Canada is I believe no fault, but I want to see if there is some way I can get her adultery in the divorce papers
Division of property isn`t much as all we really have is my pension, and it tops up the divorced spouse. So her pension is about $10,000 dollars while mine is closer to $50,000 unless I stay and work till I'm 65, then I`ll get about $60.000. She has always thought that we would stay together because we can`t afford it otherwise.
To add to the mix I am on dialysis and working for another five years is a problem, and I`d need to afford to live near a unit, limits my housing options.
I guess the only thing I fear is dying alone. It was hard enough to find the one I got. Sucks

 

[61 Corpses]

Im married but my wife better not let me catch her doin shyt

If i found out, its pretty simple

I'd beat her, then divorce

Self incriminate yourself on the internet brehs

 

[Regular_P]

Damn, that one with the pictures is grounds for murder, especially after what she said to him.

 

[ORDER_66]

This dumbass should have changed the locks and called his lawyer. why would he allow himself to be disrespected like a giant p*ssy... she fukked 25 men when seperated who says she's gonna be faithful now? I would totally start banging other chicks after i filed and had her served divorce papers.

 

[Truality]

Self incriminate yourself on the internet brehs

dont care ill deny it

 

[Jayson_bourn]

Explicit photos of some guy bustin' a nut in his wife??!

 

[MikelArteta]

Explicit photos of some guy bustin' a nut in his wife??!

she didn't even want sex with her husband but was doing every illicit act under the stars with that other dude

 

[Jayson_bourn]

she didn't even want sex with her husband but was doing every illicit act under the stars with that other dude

These hoes really aint shyt brehs. If he wasn't so in love he'd hit backpage and produce some pictures of his own What aches me about all these stories is that most women aren't even good at this type of warfare.

If push came to shove and he was on his I have no doubts that he could crush her emotionally and financially. When women win these wars people be like dam he gave up half his shyt

When men win that shyt be on some why he have to do her like that? type shyt

 

[MikelArteta]

These hoes really aint shyt brehs. If he wasn't so in love he'd hit backpage and produce some pictures of his own What aches me about all these stories is that most women aren't even good at this type of warfare.

If push came to shove and he was on his I have no doubts that he could crush her emotionally and financially. When women win these wars people be like dam he gave up half his shyt

When men win that shyt be on some why he have to do her like that? type shyt

yup but all these dudes are weak males thats why they will write everything she did
and at the end the i still love her and wouldnt mind if we could work it out

 

[MikelArteta]

i just noticed how this is a marriage site and look
long term success in marriage, post your success stories has 364 topics
coping with infidelity has 12,190
sexual problems in marriage 7,000
financial problems in marriage 718

 

[Tae]

i just noticed how this is a marriage site and look
long term success in marriage, post your success stories has 364 topics
coping with infidelity has 12,190
sexual problems in marriage 7,000
financial problems in marriage 718

People in happy marriages have better things to do than go online to a forum and talk about how happy their marriage is.

 

[MikelArteta]

My wife cheated on me and don't know what to do. We were having problems with our relationship for a year or better before she was unfaithful. We were not talking and had resented each other. She works as a bartender and is around guys all the time and one of the patrons are who eventually got to her. After she was caught we split for a couple of months and now we started talking again. I currently rent an apartment but not big enough for the kids so I often stay at the house when she has to work. I love being around this woman but can't say that she does me. I mean she tells me that she wants to work on things and shows interest once in a while and that I am pushing her. This past weekend we did have sex but not sure it was because she wanted me just the sex. She goes out and party's now more than when our marriage was good. She tells me that I have nothing to worry about and that if she does have feelings for somebody else she would tell me cause she doesn't want to go through this again. She would rather hang with friends and coworkers when we are out and gets drunk off her ass and tells me that I need to find some friends to hang with. She talks like she wants to be with me in the long run saying things like we should buy bigger house or making plans that have me in them but are years away from the plans. We don't kiss and aren't physically close, when she leaves for work she seldom says by. Granted it has only been 4 months since this has all came out I feel like we are a lot closer to each other than we were before the affair just not as close as I would like to be right now. Am I pushing the issue by wanting more from her or is she just holding on till she finds something better. I would be interested in knowing what you think. I know I am rambling but if you want to know more let me know and I will continue on. I could write a book about how I am feeling.

 

[MikelArteta]

After nearly a year of limbo, lurking and whatever I have come to the conclusion that the modern day Marriage just plain ol' sucks. Take a look at this place and you need not look further. Seriously, click the back button twice and simply look at the numbers of the Marriage success Stories vs the CWI forum alone, 70 times more posts in CWI. What does that tell you?! Add in all the other forum category's and well, the numbers don't lie.

This place, Marriage builders, Marriage advocates and many other places all tell the same story; Gain interest, gets passionate, grows into a relationship, live together, have children (or not), both have careers (Or not), Buy a house (Or not)...........Add experience here!!

But alas, eventually the novelty wears off, the new exciting feelings fade, and the strain of sustaining whatever lifestyle a couple built becomes taxing. So one, or both parties accepts it as is, life's slow, hard working moments that provide very little return for ones efforts, and guess what you get to do it tomorrow too. Yes, I have to be a parent tomorrow, and a homeowner, and employed, and a husband (or Wife). And what do these things unequivocally demand?! In unison now, TIME & MONEY!!!.

This does not matter and I suppose it shouldn't really, I mean, no one made me fall in love, become a father, buy a home, provide for my family or fulfill my Wife's demand's or needs. I was simply being a nice guy. Don't express my feelings, or thoughts and opinions or dare mention my needs or displeasures. Life is good and happy, for her. Mission accomplished.

Maybe I could've been the so called Alpha, pee on her pee or leg and humped her into submission (metaphorically I might add) and made sure to mention my thoughts, wants and feelings and by god make them heard if at least not fulfilled. Take charge, lead the way, captain the ship.

Would it have been any different, has it ever? Did I simply not see the disparities or uncommon factors, did it even matter?

As I, we, have all experienced by meeting here one thing is for sure. Nothing we could have done would have changed a thing one damn bit. Spend more time at home vs at work and she complains about not having any money or being able to provide for the familys growth or amenities that people feel they need in life to feel fulfilled or satisfied. Its a reason to cheat.

Work, work, work, suffer the lash of the financial demand imposed by your family's needs. Home, car, insurance, electric, heat, food.....and internet, newer car, new furniture, cell phones, children's sports, clothes and other activities, and whatever else the Mrs. says would be great for the family "I want to provide to my children the things I never had growing up:.. So time, precious time is sacrificed. Time from you wife, your children, hell maybe even you dog too. Your home becomes strange to you and whatever time you have at home ends up being another demand. Fix this, take care of this, mow the lawn, time to read storied, get children taken care of, fix the dryer........................ Each do represents something, here lets add some more...............Add what you see fit. I am now neglectful and checked out. I have not met her needs as well as being a failure for not reading her mind. I must simply not care or love her. It is a reason to cheat.

If your nice, your not assertive enough or aggressive enough to show you care or wish to pursue ones spouse, especially if your a guy, and the other party, especially women, find your eagerness to please revolting and disrespectful. She needs someone who'll take charge, make the decision for her, lead without even considering opinions, be the Alpha. "He never listened to me, he never noticed or cared about my feelings, I felt like I didn't matter, I had no say....." It is a reason to cheat.

The internet, work, home, church, school, wherever is a place to cheat. With cyberspace cheating is more than ever now isn't it. "It's ok, cause I never Fvcked him/her so what's the big deal?" is the normal response. But the Pics, statements, conversations and feelings involved with them invite danger and heartache.

And remember, it's my/our fault. God if I wasn't at work I could turn this into a novel.

But in short, modern day marriage sucks, unlike past ones (Which were also not perfect or free from infidelity) in nearly all cases if something was broke they fixed it, now, people simply toss it away and move on, as if marriage is now just a consumable item. It just plan ol' sucks.

 

[MikelArteta]

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/233929-there-anyone-right-way-ask-why.html

Married 15 years, two boys 14 and 12, one daughter 6. Just found out yesterday when getting the response from my divorce petition that I am not the father of my daughter. I do have a lawyer.
We have been separated for 4 years, and I found out today that this has been an ongoing relationship. I pretty sure that when she got pregnant it wasn't the first time, but I am upset to know that she hasn't stopped even though I've never even considered dating during the separation.
During the four years, we tried counseling. I thought we agreed to work on it but I would let her move with the younger son and daughter, and I would follow when I found a job. She moved in with the biological father, but she had told me for years that he was like a brother to her and she could never sleep with him.
I feel like such a moron for not noticing the things that are staring me in the face now. In the years before moving back, she stayed at his house in the summer because it was her home state. When my daughter was conceived, I had come down for a visit and my wife wanted to have sex with me almost immediately. She had been gone for six weeks, so I didn't say no. But she was obviously covering her tracks - she was out of birth control and needed to make sure I was duped if she ended up pregnant. After our daughter was born, I was going to get a vasectomy. I agreed to this before we were married. I had to cancel my first surgery because my wife wanted her tubes tied. She wanted to continue her cheating ways but make sure now she couldn't get pregnant again. I just thought she wanted to be extra sure that she couldn't get pregnant after my vasectomy.
For over seven years now I've been thinking it was ME and only me that "changed" and was the reason she wanted to divorce. But now I know that even if it was me, it was her infidelity that truly lead to this point.
And now when I want to spend time with my son that lives with her, she feels like we have to "negotiate". I want to tell her that she is no longer in ANY position to negotiate anything regarding our sons.
The biological father is going to file for legitimization. Since I've really only had a relationship with my daughter in spurts over the past four years, I won't fight it. My lawyer told me that it means when my wife screws up this relationship, I won't be on the hook for child support.
The biological father has been known as "Uncle" since the time my old son could say it. This week I'll be telling them what their mother did, and they are to never call him Uncle X again, because he has lost the respect and honor that name has. He's not even deserving of Mr.
I want to ask her so bad WHY WHY WHY!?!? Why have you lead me on for 7+ years? Why have you made me think we could make our marriage work? What did I do that made you commit the ultimate sin regarding our marriage? And how could you keep doing it in front of my face?

@mamba