"I stayed because I was embarrassed"

[86\*/98]

@knl14 and @biscuitsnbangers you can refer to my previous post.

You think laughing at someone’s pain is helpful?

Yes.

 

[knl14]

fukk all that shyt you're talking. If you're getting your ass beat and you stay you're stupid, or you like getting abused. The only people in those situation who'll get sympathy from me are the children who have no choice but to be there.



There's no need to shyt on the dude because everyone understands that he's a pos. No one has a problem calling out males for fukked up choices, but people like yourself and many others get up in arms about someone saying a female made a dumb choice. This shyt is sickening and sad, you're a part of the problem.

There is a need to shyt on the dude. The dude is the POS, the dude is the abuser, yet you have smoke for the victim, the abused. Y’all swear it’s women who lack accountability but you don’t have smoke for the man because “everybody knows he’s a POS.” That sir, is a true lack of accountability. The MEN who are abusing women are the problem. Stop this shyt from the top down, and there’s no need to create this thread in the first place.

It’s not so much that women don’t have a responsibility in these situations (although it’s nowhere near as simple as you’re making it out to be), but it’s asinine to hold a woman accountable while dismissing the dude because “everyone knows he’s a POS.” That’s why it looks like you just don’t like women.

 

[NinoBrown]

Speaking ill of the dead isn’t helping anyone, just makes you look like an a**hole. The fact that people think victim shaming helps anyone is mind boggling.

If you really wanted to help, you’d learn about battered woman syndrome as well as the societal structures in place that make it either 1) difficult for women to leave or 2) “embarrassed” to leave because of the messages that women receive regarding being at fault if their relationship fails.

speaking of accountability, maybe you should create a thread instructing your brothers to keep their hands to themselves and learn to walk away before things get physical and women won’t have an abusive man to keep running back to.

You think shaming women, making mean threads and calling them names for staying in abisive relationships is going to help other women avoid them?

not in the fukking least. you have NO fukking clue. none, whatsoever.

You don't understand the problem you're discussing if you've reached the conclusion that women are staying in these situations because they enjoy getting abused or "are stupid", which is exactly why you're unqualified to even discuss this in any meaningful way.

You have the reasoning level of a pre-teen and it's on full display. "well if I was in a relationship and getting my ass beat then I would leave, since women are staying they must be stupid or enjoy getting their ass beat".

do better, get off the internet and try to actually have discussions with women instead of trolling them about the abuse they've suffered at the hands of men.

If their own survival mechanism doesn't kick in and they stay at their own peril, there is nothing that can be really done.

You can't save those that don't want to be saved...

 

[NotaPAWG]

@knl14 and @biscuitsnbangers you can refer to my previous post.


Yes.

got it, this thread makes so much more sense now. you sound just like an abuser, a sociopathic narcissist (find other peoples pain funny, lack of empathy, reason like a child).

 

[knl14]

The crazy thing is men aren’t socialized to stay in relationships. It’s perfectly acceptable for y’all to hop from relationship to relationship and y’all get props for doing it. Why the fukk are y’all not walking away from women who you feel the need to put your hands on even one time?

 

[NotaPAWG]

The crazy thing is men aren’t socialized to stay in relationships. It’s perfectly acceptable for y’all to hop from relationship to relationship and y’all get props for doing it. Why the fukk are y’all not walking away from women who you feel the need to put your hands on even one time?

for supply. it’s a narcissist trait. there’s a lot of narcs and sociopaths roaming this earth. they view other people as toys, to idealize, devalue, discard and repeat the cycle over and over. Narcissistic supply - Wikipedia

What is Narcissistic Supply?

 

[86\*/98]

You lack empathy, got it.

You feel for the children but did you ever stop and think “hey, maybe these women were once those same children? surrounded by dysfunction? not loved properly?”

did that not cross your mind. no, because clearly you can’t separate how child hood trauma can carry over into adult. and it manifests in many fukking ways.

I grew up surrounded by dysfunction like so many other black people in the west. You can either be weak and fall into the same traps and fukked up stiuation as the previous generation or you can do the inner-work to become a sane productive person and manifest a bettter reality for yourself and any children you have.

You don't understand the problem you're discussing if you've reached the conclusion that women are staying in these situations because they enjoy getting abused or "are stupid", which is exactly why you're unqualified to even discuss this in any meaningful way.

You have the reasoning level of a pre-teen and it's on full display. "well if I was in a relationship and getting my ass beat then I would leave, since women are staying they must be stupid or enjoy getting their ass beat".

do better, get off the internet and try to actually have discussions with women instead of trolling them about the abuse they've suffered at the hands of men.

I don't have the reasoning of a pre-teen, it's just that this is so simply that a pre-teen could reason their way through it. You're both doing simone biles level mental gymnastics to defend the poor choices of adults.

 

[NinoBrown]

There is a need to shyt on the dude. The dude is the POS, the dude is the abuser, yet you have smoke for the victim, the abused. Y’all swear it’s women who lack accountability but you don’t have smoke for the man because “everybody knows he’s a POS.” That sir, is a true lack of accountability. The MEN who are abusing women are the problem. Stop this shyt from the top down, and there’s no need to create this thread in the first place.

It’s not so much that women don’t have a responsibility in these situations (although it’s nowhere near as simple as you’re making it out to be), but it’s asinine to hold a woman accountable while dismissing the dude because “everyone knows he’s a POS.” That’s why it looks like you just don’t like women.

If she chose Bob who worked at UPS....we wouldn't see this scenario....

 

[Matt504]

If their own survival mechanism doesn't kick in and they stay at their own peril, there is nothing that can be really done.

You can't save those that don't want to be saved...

Again, you can't use "common sense" to navigate these kinds of discussions, you and many others clearly don't have the intuition for it. Why not instead spend 5 minutes reading studies on Google instead of writing half-hearted self centered hot takes on the coli.

It's pitiful that we got grown ass adults reasoning like this.

"I know I would let this happen to me, so if someone lets it happen to them, they must be stupid or they like it"

Eight Reasons Women Stay in Abusive Relationships

 

[NotaPAWG]

If she chose Bob who worked at UPS....we wouldn't see this scenario....

you can’t be fukking serious...

my abuser was raised religious and works at USPS.

has nothing to do with class, job, etc

 

[knl14]

If she chose Bob who worked at UPS....we wouldn't see this scenario....

Once again, avoiding accountability by telling women to choose better instead of telling men to BE better. If all men were non physical like “Bob at UPS” then there would be no “choosing this scenario”. You can’t “choose” an abusive nikka if there are no abusive nikkas. This isn’t a chicken or egg thing. STOP PUTTING HANDS ON WOMEN AND WOMEN WILL NOT BE ABUSED. That’s it. If you truly want to help, then that’s where your energy should be focused. Not on victims.

 

[Anerdyblackguy]

This wasn’t cool Op, I know of an older woman who was domestically abused but stayed because she didn’t want to raise her son as a single mother.

I have to neg.

 

[86\*/98]

There is a need to shyt on the dude. The dude is the POS, the dude is the abuser, yet you have smoke for the victim, the abused. Y’all swear it’s women who lack accountability but you don’t have smoke for the man because “everybody knows he’s a POS.” That sir, is a true lack of accountability. The MEN who are abusing women are the problem. Stop this shyt from the top down, and there’s no need to create this thread in the first place.

It’s not so much that women don’t have a responsibility in these situations (although it’s nowhere near as simple as you’re making it out to be), but it’s asinine to hold a woman accountable while dismissing the dude because “everyone knows he’s a POS.” That’s why it looks like you just don’t like women.

I have "smoke" for both of them because the both made poor choices. The dude is a sucker for beating his woman and she's a dummy or someone who likes abuse for staying. It really is that simple.

Do you think women should be held accountable for their choices like adults or not?

The crazy thing is men aren’t socialized to stay in relationships. It’s perfectly acceptable for y’all to hop from relationship to relationship and y’all get props for doing it. Why the fukk are y’all not walking away from women who you feel the need to put your hands on even one time?

I don't even raise my voice at women and I let it be known early on that if they can't communicate thier issues like a sane adult they'll be fired. So miss me with that "y'all" shyt.

 

[86\*/98]

you can’t be fukking serious...

my abuser was raised religious and works at USPS.

has nothing to do with class, job, etc

Yeah, abuser ass nikkas come from all walks of life and classes. Edit: Too much

This wasn’t cool Op, I know of an older woman who was domestically abused but stayed because she didn’t want to raise her son as a single mother.

I have to neg.

Do what you gotta do, bro.

I can respect her trying tough it out for the sake of the child, I just wish she would've been as dedicated during the courting process so she didn't end up having the seed of an abuser in the first place because nikkas don't get someone pregnant and the magically change overnight.

 

[BrehWyatt]

It makes sense. One, abuse fukks up a person beyond the physical. And if you deal with it long enough (domestic, child, sexual, etc.) eventually you numb to it and it just becomes normalized.

Two, if you choose to be with someone who turns out to be somebody who is generous with the hands, yeah it's embarrassing. In a roundabout way it's a self-admission of defeat. You're admitting you chose poorly. You're admitting your judgement and ability to discern was all the way off. Your common sense was sacrificed because you were either manipulated, dikkmatized or emotionally compromised in some fashion.

That women's intuition shyt? You basically admit it failed you, OR that it gave you the signs but you ignored it. Not to mention that abuse in general is a painful, scarring thing that places people in the most vulnerable of situations and sometimes results in people trivializing the trauma they've gone through.

So I can see why women would feel embarrassed to come forward. Women may have a problem with accountability but let's not act like abuse is something people earn. That's not how it works.