If You're the Breadwinner...

[DropTopDoc]

For us it’s not primarily about the sex. It’s about the experience and quality of the sex rather than the quantity as you indicated for men. Tons of women in monogamous relationships aren’t even orgasming. So she might not want to lose the family dynamic with her husband but she needs sexual and emotional satisfaction too. I think too many people misunderstand female sexuality. Even women themselves. Layers of shame, virgin/whore complex and men literally telling us what we want based on how they want us to be vs how we actually are, doesn’t really help.

well essentially I’m saying that women and men step out for entire different reasons

 

[Crude]

Most people aren't built for monogamy, that includes men and women.

Women want a man that's physically attractive, with a good job, charisma, and personality, but the problem is they are going to be competing with other women for that same type of man. Most men with options are not going to have eyes just for you, and if there are any type of problems in the relationship that behavior is generally magnified.

Most women think they understand the psychology behind a man's actions; however, most really don't.

Most men do not have the discipline to consistently turn down the advances of women they are physically attracted to. For a lot of women the act of sex is emotional, affectionate, and part of a deeper connection. Obviously, women are not a monolith, but the aforementioned is the case many women. For men, sex is is just a physical fulfillment of an urge no different than eating a meal you've been craving or going to to the bathroom. It's just a means to an end of fullfilling a need or want and it speaks more to a man's level of discipline than anything.

Men don't think like women and the motivations for certain behavior is not the same. I believe that has a lot to do with hormones and physiology.

I'm not going to say all men cheat, but I would venture to say 70-80 percent or men have cheated, are cheating, or will cheat at some point. I'm not condoning it, but I don't necessarily think it's the end of the world either. I think communication is key and working at your relationship daily is very important.

A lot of people invite this type of behavior into their relationship through their actions. Obviously, no one puts a gun to your head and makes you cheat it's a decision guided by discipline or lack thereof, but a lot of men and women both invite that drama in by not being realistic in their expectations and upfront with their partner.

 

[Dafunkdoc_Unlimited]

Most people aren't built for monogamy, that includes men and women.

I don't think that's objectively true at all. In fact, I believe the exact opposite of that statement but that's based on my own observations and experience of several decades.​

 

[Swirv]

Dub

 

[Swirv]

Cheating is fukked up no matter who you are. I realize that now. It causes unnecessary pain and hurt. Just not worth it to me. I’m a cheater and will try my best not to do that again.

 

[Gold]

I don't think that's objectively true at all. In fact, I believe the exact opposite of that statement but that's based on my own observations and experience of several decades.​

Yeah as I get older I see that most people (from my experience) will at some point do everything in their power to try to end up in a monogamous situation, men and women.

We can say things like "my girl got a girlfriend" or "I want an open marriage" or "I want 4 wives" but how often does that work in practice?

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

So, we still blaming women for men's lack of self-control/honesty and trying to justify it by our pay-scale?

​

This is indeed the case. But feelings get hurt when it’s done to them. Studies are already showing that increases in female income is also correlated to increase in infidelity levels. A lot of cheating isn’t just shallowly based on lust or opportunity.

There’s psychological reasons behind it too. It’s about power for a lot of people and validation. When you contribute more, you tend to take your partner for granted, pride sets in, you feel like you running shyt so you don’t have to stay faithful to somebody who is beneath you when something better comes by.

Both male and female nature can be used to justify promiscuity. Female hypergamy, male reproductive impetus...but like you said...self-control is where you draw the line, particularly if you trying to build something.

Its just as hard for women to tamp down on their desire to fukk the next best thing or not entertain attention from other desirable dudes, as it is for men to control themselves around new p*ssy.

So given this reality, either both need to be willing to put the work in or you don’t need to be in a relationship.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

well essentially I’m saying that women and men step out for entire different reasons

Oh I agree with you. But I was just thinking out loud.

 

[SheWantTheD]

bet this thread goes to 20 pages.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

You're right. I had think really think hard on this and someone came to mind as far as a good woman.

Tell me she ain't a good woman? She got great resume.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Not if she's older. A woman is not gonna be as "marketable" to men once she gets a certain age. And I'm somebody that's often been attracted to older women but I wasnt trying to build a relationship with an older woman.

Most men don't want to build a relationship with older women. I mean we want to have sex with her to fulfill our fantasies but we're not trying to marry her.

Or better yet, I'll put it to you like this. If I have woman A who is 40 yrs old, who wants to be with me; and then I have woman B who is 22 yrs old and wants to be with me...

That 22 yr old is gonna have less baggage and issues and is gonna be more open to being led than a woman thats older than me.

Plus if I want children, it's a no brainer which one of those I would choose for a relationship.

I know older women get angry when they hear this but it's the truth.

One of my older female friends who's in her 40s fell out with me for a couple of weeks because she got mad because I just like other men was enjoying looking at these young women doing the bussit challenge. And she's single and lonely trying to figure out why...

And probably in that moment realized that this is what she's competing with. Yes she's attractive for her age but let's be real. If a man is trying to build a relationship, 9 times out of 10, we're gonna go for that younger option when it's available.

She's single, lonely, wants to be married and I think it just got to her when she realized what I and other men want.

Another reason why I would agree with what Kevin said, but again my reasoning is different than his.

I agree that the woman shouldn't leave that man because as she gets older, her options are drastically decreased from the options she once had

And like I told @Booksnrain options for women are not the same as options for men.

When we talk about options for women, I'm talking about men that want to be in a relationship with you. The older you get, the more those options are gonna decrease. Thats just factual.

I'm not the one who makes the rules but I recognize what they are.

You're all over the place in this thread. Just trying to be a contrarian.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

In the simplest terms I can put it, most HV men who step out are not trying to let it "fall apart".

There is a conflict between what they want and what they feel they are getting out of their relationship.

They feel that infidelity is the best way to resolve this conflict with minimal friction.

To quote the Admiral Grace Hopper, "It is better to beg forgiveness, than ask permission".

Whether true or not, most HV men I know feel that cheating is better for the family than opening up Pandora's Box or growing ever more dissatisfied.

So man are doing their families a favor by cheating? Got it.

 

[Shadow King]

Infidelity is the #1 cause of divorce

No it's finances

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

You're all over the place in this thread. Just trying to be a contrarian.

Now you are refusing to acknowledge what I'm saying. Like I said yall don't wanna know how men truly think if it goes against what you want to believe.

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

Oh I agree with you. But I was just thinking out loud.

I told you that same thing and you got mad because I said men and women's reasoning aint equal.