If You're the Breadwinner...
- Thread starter ™BlackPearl The Empress™
- Start date
I get it...men cheat and women should expect it and accept it as long as it's not egregious, right? And despite this women should work very hard...to near perfection to keep the men who will more than likely cheat on them. If this isn't your idea of marriage then you should not aspire to be a married woman right?
Neo. The Only. The One.
THE ONE
You posted that getting with a man without caring for him is ideal too
Really? You are going to strip everything that I said down and pretend as if you didn't see my entire statement, where I said develop a friendship first and build on that?
This is the reason why I mainly stay away from conversations with yall women because yall never have honest conversations. At some point, the lies and subterfuge will start. Never fails
Then yall wonder why us men ain't interested in having conversations with women that we aint having sex with. It's because talking to ya'll is a chore since yall operate from places of false equivalency, mistaken notions and outright lies
Really? You are going to strip everything that I said down and pretend as if you didn't see my entire statement, where I said develop a friendship first and build on that?
This is the reason why I mainly stay away from conversations with yall women because yall never have honest conversations. At some point, the lies and subterfuge will start. Never fails
Then yall wonder why us men ain't interested in having conversations with women that we aint having sex with. It's because talking to ya'll is a chore since yall operate from places of false equivalency, mistaken notions and outright lies
Sir you tried to dress up KS's statement about how women should not expect love when coming into a relationship with a desirable man.
I have been on this site for years and one thing that rings true is that the majority of men say they can ONLY be friends with women they aren't attracted to/do not want...but here you come, telling me that friendship can make a woman grow on a man and then have a mini fit because I don't think your opinion reads true for the majority of men.
Sorry you feel that way. The conversation was good while it lasted.
I think I mentioned this before in another thread.
When I was in college I dated a sista who told me that her ex’s mom legit told her,
“Now I need you to know that if you marry my son he is going to have women on the side just like his father; however, when it comes to financial stability you won’t have to worry about any of that. He will have his flings on the side but you will be well taken care of.”
I remember feeling on the inside the whole time she was saying this like
.
Then I asked her, “Well what was your response when she said that to you.”
(Her) “I told his mom I won’t be doing that.”
“And, that’s the reason he is my ex.”
(Me)
When I was in college I dated a sista who told me that her ex’s mom legit told her,
“Now I need you to know that if you marry my son he is going to have women on the side just like his father; however, when it comes to financial stability you won’t have to worry about any of that. He will have his flings on the side but you will be well taken care of.”
I remember feeling on the inside the whole time she was saying this like
.Then I asked her, “Well what was your response when she said that to you.”
(Her) “I told his mom I won’t be doing that.”
“And, that’s the reason he is my ex.”
(Me)
No. That's not what I said or what I mean. You don't get it...
What I'm saying, and this might be different from what KS is saying, but if EITHER party cheats... as long as that isn't a regular habit of the individual, can't that be worked out? I've told many girls I've dated there is a difference between fukking up one time and being a chronic cheater. Marriage vows are supposed to be in sickness or health, til death do you part, not at the first major incident. Them getting a divorce based on the terms SHE said, just means she and him were not built for marriage.
KS believes in traditional roles for men and women, because they have validity. You do not have to agree, but if you don't, that is a two way street. If you do not want to be a traditional woman, you should not expect a traditional man and the SAME THING applies to men who don't want to be traditional, they should not expect a traditional woman.
You trying you clean it up now. Because these are 2 completely different posts.
One of the problems with our community on the male said is that you guys try to justify your immorality as "a man's nature" and then sprinkle on shame and guilt towards women to be manipulative and dress is up as wisdom.
Either you're man whores who can't be trusted or your adults who have the ability to choose not to cheat. Ya'll wanna bounce between those 2 view points when it suits you. I wish ya'll would stick with one and stop bullshyting. You can't be a leader and be wishy washy flip floppers.
You trying you clean it up now. Because these are 2 completely different posts.
One of the problems with our community on the male said is that you guys try to justify your immorality as "a man's nature" and then sprinkle on shame and guilt towards women to be manipulative and dress is up as wisdom.
Either you're man whores who can't be trusted or your adults who have the ability to choose not to cheat. Ya'll wanna bounce between those 2 view points when it suits you. I wish ya'll would stick with one and stop bullshyting. You can't be a leader and be wishy washy flip floppers.
They are the same concept just phrased differently. The first post was how KS phrases it, the second was how I phase it....
Second, those problems are not solely in OUR community as black people, EVERY community has them. I'd actually wager Hispanic men and White men cheat WAYYYY more than black men, the former due to culture and the latter due to resources.
The reality is ALL of us men have some man whore in us, we just eventually made the decision to quell those urges for the betterment of our situations, but sometimes we fail at it. That's not a justification of the actions because they are still wrong, but its more of praising statement on a man that has never cheated. You want it to be black and white and its not, its shades of grey and if you choose to look at it in black and white, then you will always be disappointed.
You think lions only mess with one lioness at a time? Scar had hoes, so why shouldn’t they?You trying you clean it up now. Because these are 2 completely different posts.
One of the problems with our community on the male said is that you guys try to justify your immorality as "a man's nature" and then sprinkle on shame and guilt towards women to be manipulative and dress is up as wisdom.
Either you're man whores who can't be trusted or your adults who have the ability to choose not to cheat. Ya'll wanna bounce between those 2 view points when it suits you. I wish ya'll would stick with one and stop bullshyting. You can't be a leader and be wishy washy flip floppers.
The bold is a reflection of their direction.
They aren't the same post. The tone and implications are completely different.
You missed the point. We know you're flawed. The point isn't that you're flawed. The point is that you excuse it and encourage your flaws while shaming women in an attempt to gain the advantage but then claim to give a shyt about this community.
Then you flip flop between saying "we can’t keep our dikks in out pants, it's nature...get over it" to "we're logical leaders and we will be faithful but its just women are terrible because *insert shame*"
Ya'll want "betterment" in one direct. The direction that allows you to go unchanged and be as shytty as you wanna be but getting women to cooperate.
You think lions only mess with one lioness at a time? Scar had hoes, so why shouldn’t they?
They say they wanna have an honest conversation but they really don't. When are BM culturally going to start holding themselves to higher moral standards? If they wanna lead than lead. Set the standards. But their version of settings the standard is telling women to put up with whatever bullshyt they have and calling it Black love while throwing racism in there for effect and telling women they need to be more understanding.
It's just this never ending cycle of dysfunction I wish BP could step out of but it just isn't getting any better. Culturally we all need to be on a higher standard; not just women.
As a group, we struggle with honest conversations because we don't respect each other's perspectives and experiences and especially when you're a woman. Someone will say XYZ happened and here comes a group saying it never happened to them, so of course it can't be happening to others. Men refer to women's expression of issues in a relationship as "nagging"
Black women are gravitating en masse away from the domestic roles they've been pigeon-holed into for years, while men are still using this as a standard to value women. Black women are still looking for black men to be providers while it's statistically improbable. The divide will continue to widen. In regards to BM holding themselves to higher moral standards, I feel that is more a reflection of westernized values. White women still have shyt husbands slanging white d, recklessly all over their social circles.
As a group, we struggle with honest conversations because we don't respect each other's perspectives and experiences and especially when you're a woman. Someone will say XYZ happened and here comes a group saying it never happened to them, so of course it can't be happening to others. Men refer to women's expression of issues in a relationship as "nagging"
In regards to BM holding themselves to higher moral standards, I feel that is more a reflection of westernized values. White women still have shyt husbands slanging white d, recklessly all over their social circles.
Well at some point if growth is the goal what White people do can't be a talking point.
If growth is being discussed then changes, growth and standards need to be on the table for everyone. Excuses don’t make progress.
