If You're the Breadwinner...

[Rawtid]

Well at some point if growth is the goal what White people do can't be a talking point.

If growth is being discussed then changes, growth and standards need to be on the table for everyone. Excuses don’t make progress.

I agree with everything you're saying, but I don't feel some black men will willingly create or adjust to new standards. They will always model their behavior as men around westernized standards where "growth" is centered more around gaining financial/material means rather than improving your moral character. I think that's an issue as well. I find the behavior of some black women toward black men or they way they live after being hurt, to be very disturbing. It's like they decrease their morals or throw them out the window altogether.

There is a lot of emotion surrounding this topic, so it makes it difficult to discuss as well. You have to be able to receive things that could be triggering or relatable to your current situation, but try to argue without a bias.

Women still think they can police or shame HVM into behaving according to their rules.

Y'all done....

A man can't be high value if he lacks morals and character

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

I agree with everything you're saying, but I don't feel some black men will willingly create or adjust to new standards. They will always model their behavior as men around westernized standards where "growth" is centered more around gaining financial/material means rather than improving your moral character. I think that's an issue as well. I find the behavior of some black women toward black men or they way they live after being hurt, to be very disturbing. It's like they decrease their morals or throw them out the window altogether.

There is a lot of emotion surrounding this topic, so it makes it difficult to discuss as well. You have to be able to receive things that could be triggering or relatable to your current situation, but try to argue without a bias.


A man can't be high value if he lacks morals and character

I agree

 

[JT-Money]

I agree with everything you're saying, but I don't feel some black men will willingly create or adjust to new standards. They will always model their behavior as men around westernized standards where "growth" is centered more around gaining financial/material means rather than improving your moral character. I think that's an issue as well. I find the behavior of some black women toward black men or they way they live after being hurt, to be very disturbing. It's like they decrease their morals or throw them out the window altogether.

There is a lot of emotion surrounding this topic, so it makes it difficult to discuss as well. You have to be able to receive things that could be triggering or relatable to your current situation, but try to argue without a bias.


A man can't be high value if he lacks morals and character

Ya'll really want to arbitrarily apply these high moral standard tests only on Men?


What about if a woman isn't a virgin until marriage? See how that works?

 

[Rawtid]

Ya'll really want to arbitrarily apply these high moral standard tests only on Men?


What about if a woman isn't a virgin until marriage? See how that works?

I mentioned some women’s questionable morals in my previous post. Overall the way we treat one another is horrible and not conducive to unity.

A woman being a virgin until marriage is a religious principle that has been b*stardized.

 

[Matt504]

This thread has delivered



I appreciate all the different viewpoints.

 

[Will Ross]

Can a woman be a good woman and also be a cheater?

Nope loyalty is the whole reason you choose a woman to be with.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Nope loyalty is the whole reason you choose a woman to be with.

So a woman needs to be loyal to be good? What flaws can she possess and still be a "good" woman?

 

[HarlemHottie]

If a woman prioritizes faithfulness, she should vet any future husband carefully.

If she's in circles with hvm, she should be able to find one who suits her needs.

You know before you get married if your man is a cheater, let's not play these games, ladies.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

If a woman prioritizes faithfulness, she should vet any future husband carefully.

If she's in circles with hvm, she should be able to find one who suits her needs.

You know before you get married if your man is a cheater, let's not play these games, ladies.

Even men themselves say that they go into situations ready to be faithful but fall off the wagon because of their nature. Idk how a man being unfaithful down the line is a woman's fault. Even the lady in the video said it wasn't habitual.

Question, if your husband was unfaithful would you stay and forgive him?

 

[HarlemHottie]

Even men themselves say that they go into situations ready to be faithful but fall off the wagon because of their nature. Idk how a man being unfaithful down the line is a woman's fault. Even the lady in the video said it wasn't habitual.

Question, if your husband was unfaithful would you stay and forgive him?

His dream life is us on a desert island. Him cheating is such an impossibility, it's almost absurd to consider.

But, for the sake of your hypothetical: It's not about me. He prides himself on self governance. If he cheated, he wouldn't forgive himself. He'd invite me to leave and give me whatever i wanted.

Which, in part, is why i chose him.

For me, idk. It depends on the situation, where our relationship was when it occurred, was i slipping, etc. Cheating doesn't happen in a vacuum, especially after 20 yrs. I'd need to know where his head was to make a decision.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

His dream life is us on a desert island. Him cheating is such an impossibility, it's almost absurd to consider.

But, for the sake of your hypothetical: It's not about me. He prides himself on self governance. If he cheated, he wouldn't forgive himself. He'd invite me to leave and give me whatever i wanted.

Which, in part, is why i chose him.

For me, idk. It depends on the situation, where our relationship was when it occurred, was i slipping, etc. Cheating doesn't happen in a vacuum, especially after 20 yrs. I'd need to know where his head was to make a decision.

K

 

[Piff Perkins]

The ironic thing about all this bullshyt is that the target audience for KS are broke dudes who aren't attracting women in any way, yet are obsessed with the concept of women taking "resources" from them that they do not have. This shyt is like fantasy football or something. You aren't on the same team as the guys he's talking about...stop cheering on the sidelines.

Viewing relationships like a 1980s Wall Street don purchasing companies is not smart or illuminating. It's stupid. Having all the resources does not mean you can do whatever the fukk you want to your partner, because she doesn't have "options." It just makes you a stupid a$$hole who is at risk of losing half his shyt, if there are kids involved. I'm tired of viewing male bad behavior as the evolutionary, highly logical decision making - while viewing female bad behavior as emotional or stupid or whatever. Don't cheat on your wife. Don't cheat on your husband. If you aren't happy or prefer the other "options" you have...end the relationship.

Not to mention the weird idea that women don't have options. I'm gonna assume this chick in the video is at least moderately attractive and successful, given the fact that she married a very successful man. She's not going to have any trouble finding another man.

 

[HarlemHottie]

K

Which part amused you?

 

[JQ Legend]

This has also been a shytty argument because of how simplified it is.

If that “master key” can only open 5 outta 100 locks, can it be called a master key?

If that lock didn’t open for 100 different keys but opened for 5 keys that it liked, is it a bad lock or working as intended?

Removing all the agency of the women choosing who she’s allowing into her body and immediately judging them for being sexual at all.

No one is calling a key that can open 5 locks a master key and a lock that can be opened by 5 different keys that are not identical is still a shytty lock.

Would you want 4 other people having the key to your house?

If you want to cheat, cheat. Don’t try to justify it based on what men do.

It trips me out how you on one hand want to be seen as independent but base your actions and logic on following the same group you want to be independent from. You will rarely see one of these discussions without women saying it’s ok for them to do something because men do it then in the same breath claim to be an independent thinker. You can’t be an independent follower.

And the reason women get shamed for letting a lot of dudes smash is because of how easy it is for them to get laid. A man with a high body count is seen in a better light because most men don’t have the ability to smash a lot of women so the rare ones that do are seen as desirable. Even women don’t want a man no one wants but her. Men on the other hand would be perfectly happy with a woman he thinks is beautiful that other men don’t seem to want, in fact most would probably prefer that over constant competition over his woman. Yall want the man who every woman wants to only want you and be confused when reality shows you the lack of logic in that.

To answer OP, no I don’t think it’s right for a man to cheat just because he’s the breadwinner. Cheating implies deception. Lack of morals and integrity is not excused just because you’re the breadwinner.

 

[JQ Legend]

I never thought of it like that but damn you're right.

No that doesn’t make sense

That’s your female defense mechanism kicking in

In that post you quoted even she made it a point to emphasize a man had to build himself into someone desirable in order to have access to a lot of women more often than not while women have access to a lot of men for no reason other than being a woman. She doesn’t have to be charismatic, ambitious, successful etc. she doesn’t even have to be attractive.

It’s no different than taking 2 people who became successful. One was born and raised into poverty while the other comes from a family with money and connections, had a silver spoon in their mouth. Both grow up and become equally successful. One had to actually develop ambition, work ethic, perseverance, etc. while the other just pretty much had everything handed to them. Which one would you respect more?