I'm dating this single mom

R.B.J1

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You don't want a ready made family. Get with a female with no children if your ready to settle down, which it sound like you are. When you enter a ready made family you are asking for extra drama that you don't need. Smash and dash.
 

richaveli83

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I don't know why people act like single mothers are some evil person. Some single mothers might have been married to the father but got divorced or he died. Some of them might have been in a monogamous relationship with the father but for whatever reason things didn't work out but the mother and father still have a good relationship for the sake of the child(ren). Then you have the ones who couldn't keep their legs closed and end up with a deadbeat baby daddy.

Personally I don't think I could date a single mother again because the one time I did I was basically in competition with the son for the mothers love. He was on some you "ain't my daddy" tip (even though I wasn't trying to be his daddy). Even his own dad told him to knock it off and respect me and his mother's choice in men.

Do you breh.
 

Rick Fox at UNC

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Couple things: This is real advice, hope you aren't trolling.

1. Getting close to the kids early on will cause both you and the child to form a really strong bond. Even if pops is in their lives, they are going to form a bond with anybody in their space and spending time with them. You should set those expectations appropriately and not go too hard too fast.

If you don't plan on being there in the long term, you're only setting them up for hurt. If their mother has feelings for you and views you as a good figure in their lives, she may not necessarily see this so it is up to you to create boundaries and set expectations.

2. You have to be honest with yourself and mature quickly if you do decide to pursue this long-term. If it works out, more might be expected of you. If it doesn't work out, don't be one of those guys on that, "damn, this bytch a single mom, I shouldn't have given her the time of day" bitter stuff that a lot of dudes get on.

Just be honest about what you want, where you see yourself, and if they factor into it (and if so, how).

3. LOGOFF THE INTERNET, ESPECIALLY THE COLI, AND LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE. Don't take advice from internet sociopaths who have little to no relationship experience and view everything through an imaginary lens.
 
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My previous relationship was with a single mom. Her son was 4 when we met and we split when he was 10. I pretty much raised him. I put him in sports, helped with homework took him places, etc. Out of all the bullshyt we went through the most hurtful part is when you break up you realize you have no rights to the child. I spent 6 years with him and that was my lil homie. I'll advise any dude to be careful b/c the kids will grow on you and vice versa you and if you break up it hurts twice as much.

:mjcry:


I had to burn my cape after that.

:manny:
 

Diyhai

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My previous relationship was with a single mom. Her son was 4 when we met and we split when he was 10. I pretty much raised him. I put him in sports, helped with homework took him places, etc. Out of all the bullshyt we went through the most hurtful part is when you break up you realize you have no rights to the child. I spent 6 years with him and that was my lil homie. I'll advise any dude to be careful b/c the kids will grow on you and vice versa you and if you break up it hurts twice as much.

:mjcry:


I had to burn my cape after that.

:manny:
why yall end up breaking up
 

Rick Fox at UNC

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don't let the kids have any type of attachment to you if you're not looking for that

one day you're just fukkin' her, next her kids are callin' you 'dad' n shyt :scusthov:

Exactly. You have to be extremely honest with yourself. I don't recommend situations like this with people who aren't self-aware enough to know their weaknesses and stresses.

Not only will the kids be attached, you'll be attached to them and will feel some obligation to continue being in their lives. You might even genuinely feel like absolute shyt when they aren't around. You might miss them. If their dad is in their lives, you might get pushed to the side by him when it comes to decision making. You'll have to constantly remind yourself that I am not their father, this other dude is.

That being said, when it comes to the mom, you'll still be her boss (a good line to use when kids ask who you are). :yeshrug:
 

Rick Fox at UNC

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Correct, and ironically the man she dating as a single baby momma, is the most likely the same type of man she wouldn't have given time of the day too, when she was childless and in her prime, but hey if these guys wanna play stepdaddy that's on them.

I rather single indefinitely than be the "clean up" guy. I have my standards

And on that note...happy easter yall

No you don't. You simply have years and years of bitterness around not being "chose" by the girls you desired in middle-school, high-school, and young adulthood (I doubt you went to college).

Instead of looking in the mirror and really peering into the essence of who you are, your wants, your desires, your needs, your ambitions, your flaws, your insecurities, and your fears, you decided to walk around and play victim all day long.

People change. The girls you wanted back then are not the same girls. The person you were back then should not be the person you are now. You should understand this change and flow with it, instead you're stuck with the image of who you were back then and the hurt and pain you endured during that time.

The truth is, they didn't want you back then because you were lame. The truth is, they don't want you now because you walk around with a chip on your shoulder, still in victim mode, looking to hurt anyone who you come into contact with.

Smarten up man.
 
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