Is cheating the worst thing in a relationship?

[Remote]

Weren't there threads here of guys saying they'll never trust a friend who can cheat on his wife? I think there's a moral standard that a "great" person should have. He was a great man socially who did something rather disgusting in his personal life.

But this is my point.
My point is that cheating is a bad thing, but it doesn't necessarily make you a bad person.
And that while I disapprove of cheating, I can sometimes understand how it can happen...given the situation. That's very different from excusing it.
Sunshine's position is that cheating is bad and makes you a bad person.
So now when I mention great men who have cheated...suddenly people are hesitant to call them bad people?
Seems to me like I had a point.

 

[Ashley Banks]

I think you're going a little too far here. I understand your point and it is valid, but maybe we're not showing respect by insinuating that MLK is scum or can be called scum?

I think it fits. You can do great things for your community and still be considered scum. He repeatedly cheated on his wife, it wasn't a one time thing. I think that gives him a spot on the "scum" list. I understand that other people excuse certain people's bad actions because they think the good they do cancels out the bad, even if they continue to do wrong. I just don't agree with that.

 

[StickStickly]

But this is my point.
My point is that cheating is a bad thing, but it doesn't necessarily make you a bad person.
And that while I disapprove of cheating, I can sometimes understand how it can happen...given the situation. That's very different from excusing it.
Sunshine's position is that cheating is bad and makes you a bad person.
So now when I mention great men who have cheated...suddenly people are hesitant to call them bad people?
Seems to me like I had a point.

I think you can be a good person but a shytty scummy partner. Does cheating make you a bad person? No. Does it cancel out all the good you do? No. But repeated cheating or messing up so bad can make you shytty within your relationship. It compromises morals and integrity. It makes you look like a selfish ambivalent liar and that's not what a lot of people want in their lives.

 

[Broke Wave]

I think it fits. You can do great things for your community and still be considered scum. He repeatedly cheated on his wife, it wasn't a one time thing. I think that gives him a spot on the "scum" list. I understand that other people excuse certain people's bad actions because they think the good they do cancels out the bad, even if they continue to do wrong. I just don't agree with that.

Again I understand your logic but I think you're being an extremist. We can objectively say between us that MLK did good things with regards to civil rights. We can't objectively say that him cheating on his wife was a bad thing. We don't know if Coretta was abusing him or anything like that (not insinuating that) or maybe she was just an awful person who drove him to it (again, not my view). The fact is we don't know enough about the relationship dynamics to make a values based assessment of his Character based on what he did in his very personal life.

 

[Timeis$]

doesnt matter if u think im a bad person, u dont know me. i know what i am. i just have a different view. doesnt mean i would ever cheat on my wife. shyt i been to DR by myself and didnt cheat. n i wasnt even married at that point.

What wifey look like though?

 

[beanz]

What wifey look like though?

Like a 4 piece KFC meal with extra biscuits

 

[MeachTheMonster]

Dishonesty is the worst thing. Cheating is a form of dishonesty, so yes

 

[Davin Black]

Cheating is the second worst (behind STD transfer)...but I like to think anyone couple can work through it.

Idk, just dumping someone who cheats feels too much like letting them win, if that makes sense; I feel like working through it gives you a chances to really let them know how fukking terrible their actions were. But at the same time, if you haven't really invested much in them (time, shared stuff, kids) then giving them the might be the best move.

 

[CodeBlaMeVi]

What about Martin Luther King, Jr? It appears is alleged infidelities didn't tarnish his legacy. Is he less of a person to follow?

 

[ORDER_66]

A woman pining a baby on you is a horrible thing.... When she knows it's not yours because she couldnt keep her legs closed is the worst...

 

[Skip b]

Is it the worst thing in a relationship........

It saves you from whipping your girlfriends ass at times and simply go.....

 

[Davin Black]

What about Martin Luther King, Jr? It appears is alleged infidelities didn't tarnish his legacy. Is he less of a person to follow?

It tarnishes a lot of what he did, tbh. It sucks that we put our leaders on a moral pedestal but a lot of the same concepts he was getting people to rally behind apply to interpersonal relationships as well.

We would've been fukked if the civil rights movement had happened now, with social media. "MLK Jr a cheating thug, pics leaked on TMZ"

 

[SunZoo]

The problem is that monogamy goes against human nature.