Job Interview Horror Stories

[Kwabena]

I was chewing gum on my first job interview after college



I was so damn cocky

I feel like I've fukked myself over unknowingly so many times by doing this

 

[StretfordRed]

Basically the same flow as OP but it was a face to face interview and when I got caught, I started sweating profusely.. I got so pissed off on the fact that dude caught me and that I was sweating buckets that I asked the dude to step outside for a fade off reflex.

Breh threw up the and had security escort me off the premises. These nikkas actually followed me in my car to make sure I left the grounds completely.

A young breh stayed getting finessed in these San Diego streets when I was fresh outta college

I went on an interview from a company off craigslist (I know but cause craigs has also helped a breh eat)

job listing said something like "Route Delivery Driver" and "salary plus commission" so I was llike I'm going for it

I call in

"so and so meat company"

"Umm...excuse me sir I'm calling about the delivery driver position"

"great show up tomorrow at 8 AM and we can do the interview... If you like the position you can do a ride along"

I get off the phone like

Spoiler: "interview"

I show up early to the location and I notice there's middle aged dudes, dropout looking dudes, and a bunch of trucks...all with some meat company magnet on the side. I'm thinking "" but I go in and interview

The manager is screaming "it's not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog" and some other motivational BS

He calls me in and says "You here for the interview?"

Mind you I'm in slacks and a t-shirt and tie and holding my "portfolio"

I say "yea "

He says "well here we don't really interview...if you can drive a truck and sell... you got the job... do a ride along with Reggie (the only black guy) to see if you can do this... it pays $10 an hour OR commission"

Spoiler: Ride along

So I climb in this breh's truck and he says "hey... ditch the tie"

so we start driving and I'm asking him questions. First off...this truck is musty AF and homie is like "you wanna spark one "

I tell him "naw I'm good" on some Training Day shyt thinking he's testing me and I immediately think "damn what if I fycked up by saying no "


No joke homie says "more for me" and pulls out a fat blunt and is smoking it while driving

I ask him about the job and the "salary" and he hits the meanest right in my face... "salary? " you make what you sell

So I ask him about the "route" and he hits the on me and says "it ain't no route...you go wherever you can sell this shyt"

so now I'm about this whole gig and I know homie ain't gonna just take me back to the office.

This nygga is driving around to every shopping center, every small business, mom and pop restaurant trying to sell fukking meat out of the cooler of his truck

talkinbout "we got these Omaha steaks, flash frozen, high quality"

craziest part is that there is no "set" price. As long as you sell it above whatever the retail is, you keep the profit. He starts the price at like $200 for two packs of steaks and burgers and then drops it all the way down to $75 for both packs . He says "shyt all I made was $15 for an hour of haggling "

I go in to a few of the stores with the breh...one time I'm his "younger brother" when he is at a barbershop , next time he's the owner and I'm his trainee , just pure foolishness.

I keep telling this dude "yo...take me back" and he's on some "nah... maybe a little later... I gotta get this bread... I'll run you back in the afternoon..."

Funniest story about the ride along is when we went into a beauty shop and homie was trying to sell meat to the owner and customers and used the line "if you were selling these steaks in here...maybe you'd be able to get better clientele"

We went into a gated community of mobile homes and he was hustling door to door talking bout it was a "goldmine" because there were so many people there... he was bargaining with these old ass white people on a fixed income on some " We ended up getting chased out by security because he called some lady a bytch after she said "no solicitors "

I finally told breh I would buy a fyckin pack of steaks off him if he took me back to my car... as soon as I got out that truck I went to my car and zoomed out

I'm literally crying here

 

[Alvin]

I have so many.
I had an interview last year where the person who interviewed me didn't want to do it. When I showed up at the office he suddenly was on an overseas call. He had 2 people from the office interview me instead, after awkward questions I asked the 2 people was he going to interview me , they said no. He was expecting a white guy.
When I left I email the interviewer if I would get a follow up he said yes of course when he gets back from China. I played along and said I know you lying and I'm on your Facebook . I said I will see you again one day. Guy closed his whole account down.
Another time I had a great interview with a gallery, I was to have a follow up interview with the president of the company, on the day of the interview she emailed me come earlier. So I show up early, the secretary tells me she is stuck in traffic, my radar went up when they put in a dark closed off area instead of the waiting area. Reason being , the president was already there but didn't want to meet with me. Again expecting a white guy. We finally meet and it was over in less than 2 minutes. She didn't ask me a single question just that she was busy and would reschedule. Never heard from her again.

First story is hilarious, I hope you caught that fool at the red light
But this is sad, what is your occupation?

 

[Alvin]

When I worked at LA fitness I would hire the front desk girls and the janitors




It's crazy what bytches do for a job

stories? I'm assuming they were whores?

 

[Pacni99a12]

Sounds like she was fukking with bro from the start,, those sounded like senior management , CIO, sales questions.

Right. I wouldn't even be embarrassed. If it was someone with the appearance\complexion they wanted they would have asked a completely different set of questions. I be seeing these white dudes who don't know shyt about databases getting DBA positions. Like man wtf

 

[Rev Leon Lonnie Love]

every single one of them

 

[null]

lie at interviews brehs

 

[Yinny]

A payments company in the SE head of dept was a Russian interviewer, asked me about "South African attitudes towards lube"

repeated it

apparently meant motor oil.

Asked about Louis Vuitton bags and bananas too, was trying to pull a gotcha on an economics q but uhh yeah, no. Even the woman who would've been my manager said he's an oddball and "what the fukk"

 

[Yinny]

Then there was the super fun Cutco/Vector knife marketing when I was like 17

"Uh I didn't know you were selling knives"

"Well you should've read the job desrciption" - it didn't say shyt about knives


My end - FIM, positive I shytted on a client of a Big 4 I was finaling for whoops

 

[Rev Leon Lonnie Love]

A payments company in the SE head of dept was a Russian interviewer, asked me about "South African attitudes towards lube"

repeated it

apparently meant motor oil.

Asked about Louis Vuitton bags and bananas too, was trying to pull a gotcha on an economics q but uhh yeah, no. Even the woman who would've been my manager said he's an oddball and "what the fukk"

Why the fukk would they ask about SA oil?

 

[Yinny]

Why the fukk would they ask about SA oil?

Def a real life Carrie crazy eyes gif. I forgot his background (as in did he even know what he was talking about, I can bet a stack he looked up one of those Google stumpers added his own twist ) but it was so odd, soon as I hopped back in the rental I called the recruiter like “No !”

 

[Yinny]

Oh there was the small boutique consulting firm where the woman was clearly looking for a wife for her son and not a consultant. (It’s so cold in the D)

 

[hatealot]

Thread is jokes

 

[JamesJabdi]

Back in the day i applied to a game tester position. Basically the job is about playing games and reporting bugs.

So i go there all suited up and ready. The interview is going fine and in the end they give me a piece of paper and pen, but before giving me the pen the dude breaks off the pen clip part. I look at them with confusion, and they tell me just do what i do. So i start drawing circles and squares on the paper, while they look at me. After a while i stopped and they tell me that i should have said something about the guy breaking the pen clip part of the pen. They said not to worry about it though since it was just a test and wouldn't be included in them hiring me. i get a rejection letter a few weeks later saying i didn't get the position because of the pen clip stuff.

These companies really waste people time and make the process as humilating as possible.