Keep It Real: Have any of you ever practiced COLORISM?

[CarmelBarbie]

Damn thats a throwback, I loved that song and that chick as a kid!

Yeah he all over the place. Your preference in men is lighter, though? Sounds similar to me, I've dated medium/caramel complected and darker sisters, but I guess my preference skews more redboned...

Nope. My preference is men in my shade group. I just like pretty boys though—Like him below is perfect. That’s my type. Always has been. Mostly the type of men I date.

Nothing wrong with red bones. My current boyfriend is light as hell. Not really into really light men though overall. Or light women.

I like my complexion and men who are my complexion, so to be real it’s not even colorism.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

double post

 

[KidJSoul]

As someone else said, colorism is more than just sex

It's also stereotyping

And dark skin black men face a lot on that end.


Anyway, the main thing that irks me about this is that a lot of the women complaining about it... they are opening up about it, but a lot of them aren't interested in you if you were to date them

That's not including that some most of them have their own preferences. If you try to "unpack your biases" and go out of your way to date them, you'll be surprised. They'll look down on you. It's all just a front for them wanting more sexyal options. They don't really care about the racial or moral aspects as much as they portray themselves to.

Plus. People don't want to admit this... but some of them look at you some type of way if they see you dating dark skin women. Some of them think you can't do any better... and I'm not making this up

Date who you want to date, don't be an a$$hole to other people.

This is why ultimately I've learned to not get too invested in topics like this.

I have empathy for the dark skin women who were shat on, of course. I hate people who can't handle uncomfortable truths and instead just deny and attack. It's weak.

 

[SleezyBigSlim]

My light skinned wife says dark skinned women stink, I got offended as I'm a dark male. We argued about that and I pointed out her dark skinned female family members. Its was crickets after that.

 

[GreenGhxst]

I like all shades of black

I discriminate based on attractiveness

 

[GreenGhxst]

My light skinned wife says dark skinned women stink, I got offended as I'm a dark male. We argued about that and I pointed out her dark skinned female family members. Its was crickets after that.

That's a wild comment



Did you make her jealous before hand?

What thwarted that reaction

 

[murksiderock]

Nope. My preference is men in my shade group. I just like pretty boys though—Like him below is perfect. That’s my type. Always has been. Mostly the type of men I date.

Nothing wrong with red bones. My current boyfriend is light as hell. Not really into really light men though overall. Or light women.

I like my complexion and men who are my complexion, so to be real it’s not even colorism.

The thing I dislike about this convo is people will describe you as colorist because you have a preference. I've never once in my life thought a woman was better looking than another because her melanin was lighter, and as I said I've dated and slept with darker sisters...

It wasn't until the last few years that I even became conscious of the fact that more women I was attracted to were red. I wasn't reared in a colorist household so I never put any thought into it, black was always black to me, I love black women. Then I got older and people started pointing out that I dated and had kids with two lightskins, but that was happenstance. None of the other sisters I shot off in got pregnant...

But even aside from them, I did reflect on the women I dated, slept with, or tried to do one or the other. Alot of them were brighter so I just kinda accepted if I have a type, that's what is---->but Ashanti is my biggest celebrity crush of all time, going back to middle school, so if I had to "build a woman" she is the perfect woman physically to me!

 

[SleezyBigSlim]

That's a wild comment



Did you make her jealous before hand?

What thwarted that reaction

We were watching Insecure and I said some shyt about Issa Ray

 

[GreenGhxst]

We were watching Insecure and I said some shyt about Issa Ray

that makes sense

 

[CarmelBarbie]

The thing I dislike about this convo is people will describe you as colorist because you have a preference. I've never once in my life thought a woman was better looking than another because her melanin was lighter, and as I said I've dated and slept with darker sisters...

I don’t see how. I have a preference for men who are literally my color. The fukk lol. All my girls love dark skin men. That’s their preference. No one will accuse them of being colorist.

It wasn't until the last few years that I even became conscious of the fact that more women I was attracted to were red. I wasn't reared in a colorist household so I never put any thought into it, black was always black to me, I love black women. Then I got older and people started pointing out that I dated and had kids with two lightskins, but that was happenstance. None of the other sisters I shot off in got pregnant...

I’m always getting told I’m light skinned by my dark skinned friends. Even though I’m more on the light brown spectrum. My experience has always been when im around dark skin women and men, they bring up color. They tell me I’m light skinned. They make comments about their dark skin color and experiences. They’re more sensitive and aware of things that I’m not. It’s how I became more aware and sensitive to the experiences that dark skin people have.

But even aside from them, I did reflect on the women I dated, slept with, or tried to do one or the other. Alot of them were brighter so I just kinda accepted if I have a type, that's what is---->but Ashanti is my biggest celebrity crush of all time, going back to middle school, so if I had to "build a woman" she is the perfect woman physically to me!

Oh shyt lol. That’s who people used to say I looked like when I was in high school.


Are you dark skin or light skin? I don’t see how it’s necessarily colorism if it’s someone from your own shade group that your attracted to…

@Booksnrain what are your thoughts?

 

[murksiderock]

My light skinned wife says dark skinned women stink, I got offended as I'm a dark male. We argued about that and I pointed out her dark skinned female family members. Its was crickets after that.

This is some bullshyt to say and I'd feel a way about being with her...

My second BM makes comments about her two sons' complexions on occasion---->they are dark because she had them with a dark skinned brother. It's comments like, when they out in the sun playing, she's like "wow you're really black today all in that sun", or "yall are getting blacker"...

I don't like that shyt, then I was around her mother on two different occasions and heard her make statements like that. And her mom is medium/caramel complected. I told my BM she don't need to be telling these two little boys (ages 5 and 6) that they get black in the sun, or comment on how dark they are getting. She says it's innocent, she's making comments just for the fukk of it, but i told her she gonna make them little boys grow up with a complex about their skin tone ..

Obviously she grew up hearing stuff like this, once I heard her mom make comments like that I understood where it came from. But she can stop, I don't think it's healthy at all to be telling these little dudes how "black" they are...

I like all shades of black

I discriminate based on attractiveness

that's always been my thing too. I love all shades of blackness, there are plenty of ugly ass lite-brites---->and plenty of gorgeous darker sisters, I just don't think Lupita is one but it ain't because of her tone!

 

[Shadow King]

Well, yeah, I guess you could say that. When I meant light skin, I mean like Tisha Campbell and when I meant caramel, I meant like Tichina Arnold.

Would you consider Tichina Arnold lightskin?

 

[SleezyBigSlim]

This is some bullshyt to say and I'd feel a way about being with her...

My second BM makes comments about her two sons' complexions on occasion---->they are dark because she had them with a dark skinned brother. It's comments like, when they out in the sun playing, she's like "wow you're really black today all in that sun", or "yall are getting blacker"...

I don't like that shyt, then I was around her mother on two different occasions and heard her make statements like that. And her mom is medium/caramel complected. I told my BM she don't need to be telling these two little boys (ages 5 and 6) that they get black in the sun, or comment on how dark they are getting. She says it's innocent, she's making comments just for the fukk of it, but i told her she gonna make them little boys grow up with a complex about their skin tone ..

Obviously she grew up hearing stuff like this, once I heard her mom make comments like that I understood where it came from. But she can stop, I don't think it's healthy at all to be telling these little dudes how "black" they are...



that's always been my thing too. I love all shades of blackness, there are plenty of ugly ass lite-brites---->and plenty of gorgeous darker sisters, I just don't think Lupita is one but it ain't because of her tone!

My wife was just being jealous

 

[mrfortune]

yes, after dating a ligh tskin person for too long i start fiending for some dark chocolate

 

[KidJSoul]

Men screw chicks they don’t love all the time. So saying that there are brown people around to negate the effects of colorism is

And why do we get more defensive at the people honestly sharing their experiences with colorism than the ignorant people perpetuating this mess. A lot of black people are loud and PUBLICALLY colorist. And every time they spit that dumb shyt, I hope there are more people there to psychoanalyze and break down that self-hate until it’s as unacceptable as racists using the n-word.

Also, dating lighter or even non-Blks doesn’t necessarily mean you are colorist. But when you attribute negative characteristics to individuals based on their skin tone, you mentally raped and that needs to be acknowledged.
Doesn’t mean these types are going to change their ways. But it does mean, they understand it’s unacceptable to stay near normal people if they espousing dumb ass negative hot takes about somebody of the opposite sex that looks just like them…which is weird as fukk. Male or female.

People hate hearing shyt that makes them uncomfortable

That's why people get defensive. People can't handle the truth because it's hard to deal with so they rather downplay it

It's sad, because they lack the self awareness to realize that they wouldn't like it if someone did it to them