Ladies: How Important is Sexual Chemistry in a Relationship?

[old pig]

i've dated men i had no sexual attraction or chemistry with

i didn't have sex with those dudes but i enjoyed their company

I’m mostly teasing you since idk you…but when I hear women mention it’s not that important to them in a relationship, if we’ve been together I wonder if I’m not satisfying her…if we haven’t been together, I wonder if she thinks I’m not capable of satisfying her and simply saying what she thinks I want to hear, or if she hasn’t had enough good experiences to know what does and therefore doesn’t care as much about it…the last option is maybe she really just doesn’t care that much about it but for someone like me that’s kind of a “scary” thought…also at the bold, I don’t think that would count for the type of relationships being discussed in the OP or maybe I’m being too limiting about it

 

[13473]

I’m mostly teasing you since idk you…but when I hear women mention it’s not that important to them in a relationship, if we’ve been together I wonder if I’m not satisfying her…if we haven’t been together, I wonder if she thinks I’m not capable of satisfying her and simply saying what she thinks I want to hear, or if she hasn’t had enough good experiences to know what does and therefore doesn’t care as much about it…the last option is maybe she really just doesn’t care that much about it but for someone like me that’s kind of a “scary” thought…also at the bold, I don’t think that would count for the type of relationships being discussed in the OP or maybe I’m being too limiting about it

ok, i see what u mean. if u guys had already had sex & she said that i'd take it as her way of saying "i really like you enough to stay even if the sex thus far hasn't been too great" honestly that's not a bad point to start from cuz any improvement u make will just be icing on the cake for her cuz she likes u a lot.

 

[old pig]

ok, i see what u mean. if u guys had already had sex & she said that i'd take it as her way of saying "i really like you enough to stay even if the sex thus far hasn't been too great" honestly that's not a bad point to start from cuz any improvement u make will just be icing on the cake for her cuz she likes u a lot.

ya but then this is in line with me saying women who say this don’t necessarily seem to mean it…in your case you said you’ve felt this way in instances you’re not interested in anything more than a platonic situation with the guy…but again I might just be too myopic in thinking what constitutes a relationship in this discussion

 

[TheOptimisticCynikal]

Yeah it’s high up there on my priorities b/c I don’t fukk many, so when I do…
Gotta be equally yoked. Need those rounds.
It can’t be the center of a relationship but it can be the barometer of the relationship. If the sex and intimacy ain’t on point, to me that’s a big indicator of deeper issues.

But I try to control myself early on b/c sexual intensity earlier on can blind you to a lotta red flags if you aren’t careful.

The best advice I ever gotten from my big brother as a yout was that good p*ssy and amazing sex will make problems that were in the relationship today magically disappear by tomorrow

 

[Rhyse]

Important. Those that say otherwise haven’t had it yet. I can be a mean bish. But if that chemistry is right I’m puddy in his hands.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

It’s very important to me and is pretty much at the top of my list, it’s not the most important to me but it is very close to it. I’ve always had a high sex drive so it’s not something I can overlook when I’m vetting a man. While I agree that having sex too soon can put the blinders on, having it too late can have you in an sexually unsatisfying relationship because you caught feels before you got the d. I used to be someone who waited until I was in a relationship first before having sex, which meant a lot of time spent getting to know each other in every way but the sex part lol. But as I’m getting older, I’ve gotten better at vetting men pretty early on where I’m able to be spot on about motivations and whether I think they’re worth the investment by the third date if not by the second date. And if I decide that they are I want to try out the dikk first to make sure they can f*** before I get too caught up.

I’m not going to lie I did have sex with my current boyfriend on the second date, and I had no regrets or qualms about it because amongst other things, his sex was a factor in my decision to move forward and get into the relationship.

 

[CinnaSlim]

It's necessary for me. I need a deep connection. It doesn't have to be mind-blowing sex every time but I need to be attracted to you and that will turn me on more making the sex just the physical interpretation of our chemistry.

 

[KidJSoul]

@Booksnrain @Speaking Womanese then yall gotta tell your fellow women to stop downplaying it

I'm not trying to generalize but a lot of women are the ones who say "sex is not the most important thing in a relationship".... and then get surprised when so many men have zero feel for sex

nope…quite literally the opposite…a lot of women be straight capping to men about how “unimportant” it is to them…setting them up for failure

This

 

[KidJSoul]

The best advice I ever gotten from my big brother as a yout was that good p*ssy and amazing sex will make problems that were in the relationship today magically disappear by tomorrow

Yup, it goes both ways too. Good p*ssy can have some men emptying his pockets for a woman.

Similarly, good dikk will have a woman wanting to be a 1950s housewife for her man, serving him, submitting to him, even spending money on him, and putting up with anything he does.

Important. Those that say otherwise haven’t had it yet. I can be a mean bish. But if that chemistry is right I’m puddy in his hands.

Yup.

A lotta relationships would be better if the sexual chemistry was better.

This is why I hate when people downplay its importance. It's such cap.

 

[Kasgoinjail]

Its very important
Chemistry
Physics
Then Biology

 

[old pig]

Its very important
Chemistry
Physics
Then Biology

LOL!

 

[Speaking Womanese]

@KidJSoul its highly important but the honeymoon period dies after 2 years so if sex is ALL the couple have going for them, they won’t last long.

There has to be other elements keeping them together... THEN the sex is complementary

 

[KidJSoul]

@KidJSoul its highly important but the honeymoon period dies after 2 years so if sex is ALL the couple have going for them, they won’t last long.

There has to be other elements keeping them together... THEN the sex is complementary

True, the honeymoon period dies...

And that's why the sex and sexual chemistry/attraction is all the more important

Some relationships become dull because the pure lust was never there to start with, only "love" - so as soon as the new relationship energy wears off, the sex is less special since there's no real sexual attraction.

 

[Speaking Womanese]

True, the honeymoon period dies...

And that's why the sex and sexual chemistry/attraction is all the more important

Some relationships become dull because the pure lust was never there to start with, only "love" - so as soon as the new relationship energy wears off, the sex is less special since there's no real sexual attraction.

I agree and I agree with someone else you said in another thread.

If a woman doesn’t WANT you off the rip she never will.

That is 1000% fact. That natural lust can’t be faked; it’s either there from the start or it’s not.

 

[2Quik4UHoes]

Nice thread, this is something a lot of us men don’t take note of enough. Not all of us but a lot of us just want to bust that nut and get our objective completed. Sure, gives us more time to do our own thing but in the process you neglected your partner. It’s kinda boring to me to me to be that sexually selfish. As a teen it was one thing, but as an adult I can’t short change a woman because she pressed all my buttons to get me out my clothes and clearly I did the same to her so why make it so shallow or unfulfilling. Sex should always be a fun and passionate experience.

What helps me personally is that I’m very empathetic generally. A woman is giving you a lot of trust to open up to you in that way. So sexually speaking, I genuinely get off on bringing a woman to true climax. I try to challenge myself to keep that standard because it feels like I rewarded her for trusting me with her desires. It’s also a confidence boost overall personally and between her and I the extra effort defines myself as a man that can satisfy her from the first conversation to the first climax.

In my mind, it’s a woman’s role to entice a man to want sex with their allure and their ability to arouse men through their own, special beautifully curated aesthetics which enhances their attractiveness, it’s both sides roles to cultivate it through vibrant interaction, and the man’s role is to have the confidence to initiate sex and the strength and stamina to sustain the experience and bring the woman and himself to a real amazing climax(es).

When the equation is paid attention to it makes for an amazing outcome for everyone involved. We press each other’s buttons anyway so why not go harder where it counts?