Ladies, why do you expect a $200 dinner for a first date?

[NobodyReally]

If you can’t read whether someones a high earner even before the date, that’s on you.

lol. Um, OK. I guess if you don't know actual rich people. You're telling on yourself. Bill Gates drives a regular car, wears sweats and khakis. Those of us who grew up around rich people know they don't flex on purpose before a date, usually anyway, because they've been socialized not to flex. It draws flies. so yeah, like I said, if someone is flexing before a date, whether they got the money or not, it tells me a lot about what they value, and what they think I value. Now if they just eat at high end places normally, I will get that intel on their response to my self deprecating joke and it'll be cool. But a lot of dudes will spend that kind of money because they want you to put out and it creates expectations. Just my opinion. Everyone moves differently.

 

[Taadow]

I don't know, but I loved you as Sam Gerard.

 

[Astroslik]

lol. Um, OK. I guess if you don't know actual rich people. You're telling on yourself. Bill Gates drives a regular car, wears sweats and khakis. Those of us who grew up around rich people know they don't flex on purpose before a date, usually anyway, because they've been socialized not to flex. It draws flies. so yeah, like I said, if someone is flexing before a date, whether they got the money or not, it tells me a lot about what they value, and what they think I value. Now if they just eat at high end places normally, I will get that intel on their response to my self deprecating joke and it'll be cool. But a lot of dudes will spend that kind of money because they want you to put out and it creates expectations. Just my opinion. Everyone moves differently.

This is a commonly overused trope. A lot of Rich people spend on luxury items because that entire market caters to that demographic. You using Bill Gates as an example pretty much exposes your entire viewpoint. Using one of the richest men on earth as a basis for your argument for the majority of rich people (millionaires) is wild. You’re not around or never grew up around rich people, it’s pretty evident lol. But a lot of ya’ll on the coli live in the land of ducktales. And you bringing up an irrelevant point about those flexing has nothing to do with what I said. You can’t read those who have money because you rely on loud aesthetics to base your judgment on. There are things like the zip codes they stay at , occupation, family lineage/accomplishments, education, subtle accessories etc that can infer a persons socioeconomic level.

Bill gates has several private jets and wears $1000 plain white t shirts and bought a Porsche 911 and Porsche 959.
He also bought a $30 million leonardi da vinci book back in the 90s. So no he doesn’t drive a “regular car and wears regular clothing” he splurges on luxury shyt like most rich people

Mark zuckerberg wears $400 plain brunello cucinellio t-shirts (wouldn’t expect you to know this brand because you associate luxury shyt with gaudy overly stated clothing/accessories lol, like most people who aren’t around affluent people).

Jeff bezo’s wears $1500 Casablanca shirts lmao.
What are you talking about?

Bill Gates paid $30.8 million for this book 25 years ago—here's why it still inspires him today

In 1994, right before Bill Gates first became the richest person in the world, he splurged on Leonardo da Vinci's "Codex Leicester" for $30.8 million, making it one of the most expensive books ever sold. Here's why the Microsoft co-founder spent so much money on the book, and the wonderful...

www.cnbc.com

People that actually have money (not just know people who do, because who doesn’t?) understand subtle que’s and characteristics of those in the upper class. You literally said you can’t tell whether someone is a high-earner on the first date, and I thought that was funny lol. Just exposes your background TBH since usually people communicate before the first date so you can get a gauge of who they are or what they’re about . But if you’re not around these people on a day-to-day basis I get it..

 

[WaveCapsByOscorp™]

its not personal . i prefer black woman




but these songs still ring true almost 30 years later

Nah bro, don’t walk it back and start using rap as an escape



There’s these types in all races, these young black men was telling THEIR stories but performers in music do it in many different genres about many different types of women



Now, take it back

 

[Ohene]

Nah bro, don’t walk it back and start using rap as an escape



There’s these types in all races, these young black men was telling THEIR stories but performers in music do it in many different genres about many different types of women



Now, take it back

not taking it back lol
its overwhelmingly more of those types in our community

 

[WhatsGoodTy]

When I was 18 this white bytch wanted me to take her to Cheesecake Factory…first date..bytch better enjoy this 4 for 4 and a movie.

 

[NobodyReally]

This is a commonly overused trope. A lot of Rich people spend on luxury items because that entire market caters to that demographic. You using Bill Gates as an example pretty much exposes your entire viewpoint. You’re not around or never grew up around rich people, it’s pretty evident lol. And you bringing up an irrelevant point about those who flex has nothing to do with what I said. You can’t read those who have money because you rely on loud aesthetics to base your judgment on,

Bill gates has several private jets and wears $1000 plain white t shirts and bought a Porsche 911 and Porsche 959.
He also bought a $30 million leonardi da vinci book back in the 90s. So no he doesn’t drive a “regular car and wears regular clothing” he splurges on luxury shyt like most rich people

Mark zuckerberg wears $400 plain brunello cucinellio t-shirts (wouldn’t expect you to know this brand because you associate luxury shyt with gaudy overly stated clothing/accessories lol, like most people who aren’t around affluent people).

Bill Gates paid $30.8 million for this book 25 years ago—here's why it still inspires him today

In 1994, right before Bill Gates first became the richest person in the world, he splurged on Leonardo da Vinci's "Codex Leicester" for $30.8 million, making it one of the most expensive books ever sold. Here's why the Microsoft co-founder spent so much money on the book, and the wonderful...

www.cnbc.com

People that actually have money (not just know people who do, because who doesn’t?) understand subtle que’s and characteristics of those in the upper class.

So I'm just sharing my experience as a Black woman, who has to navigate upper class white environments, upper class Black environments, middle class Black environments, and lower class Black environments. There's a lot of frontin' when it comes to money, a lot of poor people masquerading as upperclass and a lot of upperclass people who are actually not as well off as they say they are. They may have access to things but they don't have real equity or liquid cash. You really don't know someone's financial situation until you get into a relationship with them, and even then you may not now the depths of what they actually have or don't have. Some middle class people have really studied upper class people, and mimic them well. They use money for clout and for transactional purposes in relationships. There are also upper class people who don't give a shyt about money, and shop at the Goodwill. I went to school with girls who had chefs and maids, and shopped at the thrift stores for fun because it was cool. Which is a real mind fukk for someone like me who was raised middle class but happened to be zoned to go to school with these people. So I guess I just think all this talk about where to eat and how much you're spending is overwrought. Whether someone has money or not, I'm there for the company and good food. And with the slippery slope of class, where nothing is really transparent, I feel even if people have money, they are self-aware to know what the social mores are around spending on dates and how they are being perceived. But yeah, different strokes for different folks. I'm more active in general like that so maybe that's why I don't usually have to worry about this issue. Most of my first dates involve doing stuff like going to a free concert, museum, street festival, etc.

 

[The ADD]

When I was 18 this white bytch wanted me to take her to Cheesecake Factory…first date..bytch better enjoy this 4 for 4 and a movie.

Did you hit after the 4 for 4 and movie?

 

[Astroslik]

So I'm just sharing my experience as a Black woman, who has to navigate upper class white environments, upper class Black environments, middle class Black environments, and lower class Black environments. There's a lot of frontin' when it comes to money, a lot of poor people masquerading as upperclass and a lot of upperclass people who are actually not as well off as they say they are. They may have access to things but they don't have real equity or liquid cash. You really don't know someone's financial situation until you get into a relationship with them, and even then you may not now the depths of what they actually have or don't have. Some middle class people have really studied upper class people, and mimic them well. They use money for clout and for transactional purposes in relationships. There are also upper class people who don't give a shyt about money, and shop at the Goodwill. I went to school with girls who had chefs and maids, and shopped at the thrift stores for fun because it was cool. Which is a real mind fukk for someone like me who was raised middle class but happened to be zoned to go to school with these people. So I guess I just think all this talk about where to eat and how much you're spending is overwrought. Whether someone has money or not, I'm there for the company and good food. And with the slippery slope of class, where nothing is really transparent, I feel even if people have money, they are self-aware to know what the social mores are around spending on dates and how they are being perceived. But yeah, different strokes for different folks. I'm more active in general like that so maybe that's why I don't usually have to worry about this issue. Most of my first dates involve doing stuff like going to a free concert, museum, street festival, etc.

Can’t disagree with you here

 

[Jerz]

A sad reality.. That same girl that's lookin for an expensive dinner, would be down to do the simplest ish - if you was that dude

 

[Hacksaw Jim Thuggin]

Dinner is an awful 1st date.. .

Coffee or drinks...that's it.

That way if it don't work out...I'm outta there in under an hour....

Dinner is two hours....

 

[The ADD]

Dinner is an awful 1st date.. .

Coffee or drinks...that's it.

That way if it don't work out...I'm outta there in under an hour....

Dinner is two hours....

Amazing how many times it’s been said on this board across multiple threads and yet………

They still goof

 

[V Skyye]

If you offered the date and planned on paying you should have chosen the place. Money is fairly relative and some people don’t mind spending a lot on dinner while some people understandably do. The easiest thing is for the person who’s paying to suggest a spot and take it from there.

What also may make this different is that you met online. So I understand that a lot of people do quick cheap meet up’s because they want to test out different people. But from a woman’s perspective, aiming more expensive is probably a good weed out for men only looking to smash.

 

[DJ Paul's Arm]

My Anthem

 

[Vandelay]

This topic always gets people in their feels.

Personally, cost shouldn't be the nonstarter. Of course you're not trying to be a meal ticket, but I couldn't do Applebee's for a date night spot, because "I" don't like Applebee's. As many others have said, you should've named the spot, but you should more creative than the 2 for $20 at Olive Garden.

Any local, hip spot with a cool vibe, could've been the go-to. If that wasn't a win for her, then you didn't lose anything. And if you were just tryna skimp, she probably wasn't anything more than late night material anyway, and again...you didn't lose anything.