Let's end this single mothers BS

[mamba]

They don't do that. Most women want a family, and the man to commit to them and provide for them that they get pregnant by.

They man doesn't want to, so he abandons them.

Maybe they should get commitment in the form of marriage before having children. It's a pretty simple concept.

 

[Elle Driver]

Black people aren't shaming single mothers.
When black households and families are ran like Asian and Indian communities, then we can say they're being shamed.

It's a western thing. That's not acceptable behavior with my mother's side of the family who happen to be Ethiopian.

 

[Elle Driver]

Maybe they should get commitment in the form of marriage before having children. It's a pretty simple concept.

It's a weird juxtaposition like I said before, some women want a man to provide for them, but don't think men are necessary as the head of household.

 

[mamba]

my sister knew if she ever came home with that I got knocked up or whatever my dad would have cut her off for good, none of that celebratory jargon

That's how it should be.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

I doubt that the men who are being targeted in this thread as deadbeats are actually posting in this thread.

Like me I'm doing my part to avoid hoes but that doesn't stop another man from wifing her since she let him have access to her and having father less kids come into existence

I don't think any man is being personally held accountable in this thread. It's just that we as women are a little tired of the excuses and protections some men give to deadbeat moms to absolve themselves of blame for their flawed choices in women.

The whole she should've chosen better or been more responsible act is a little old. A hoe is a hoe. Nobody expects the deadbeat nikka to do anything and rightfully so. He's a deadbeat. He ain't bout shyt. There are just people who are like that. So women should avoid them and if they don't, they are responsible b/c they know what they got themselves into.

But some of you have sooooo much spin when it comes to the same thing dealing with hoes. They keep getting a pass for their behaviors b/c many men desire them. So instead of acknowledging them as hoes and avoiding them, dudes keep trying to hold these women accountable as if a hoe is really gonna be anymore responsible for her womb than a deadbeat is for his seed. No. It's up to you as a man to avoid that charge and stop falling into the same trap.

We're constantly having discourse about blk women liking thugs, but everybody is hush mouth on the choices our men keep making in women. Good men and good women bear the same responsibility to avoid getting caught up in nonsense with trash people.

 

[JT-Money]

Black people aren't shaming single mothers.
When black households and families are ran like Asian and Indian communities, then we can say they're being shamed.

Being a single mother in those communities is definitely looked down upon.

 

[mamba]

It's a weird juxtaposition like I said before, some women want a man to provide for them, but don't think men are necessary as the head of household.

LOL! Essentially what big daddy government is giving them.

 

[Elle Driver]

I agree to a certain extent but really, most women can't seem to spot a bum ass nikka...

Or they overlook the red flags.. And being a bum ass nikka doesn't necessarily mean being broke. It's red flags everywhere..

The same way you might look at a chick and can tell she isn't shyt is the same way we look at certain nikkas and tell he ain't shyt. And especially since most nikkas don't put up the same front around dudes than they do around women

That's when having a strong set of values and morals come in. Being able to recognize important shyt about a person and making a decision to be with them based on that.

For example, I didn't like how my last ex never took responsibility for anything and never tried to assist with important shyt to make me feel like we were partners... The end result being that I didn't marry her and damn sure didn't get her pregnant

I feel like after a certain point as a woman, you just can't put up with certain shyt from men anymore, and you shouldn't. People make mistakes, but if it's some pattern of behavior you see a nikka doing that ain't right, either address it or just cut your losses. I ain't with the same type of nikka I was with when I was 22. You supposed to do better. Honor yourself. If something doesn't feel right about dude, if dude doesn't honor you, honor yourself and walk away. Before you get in too deep and the behavior is normalized and you rationalize it. You start to think all men are like that. And then it might even be too late. I couldn't fathom the thought of having a baby by a man that I can't stand and wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with. Because having a child with someone is a bigger commitment than marriage.

 

[Blackout]

I don't think any man is being personally held accountable in this thread. It's just that we as women are a little tired of the excuses and protections some men give to deadbeat moms to absolve themselves of blame for their flawed choices in women.

The whole she should've chosen better or been more responsible act is a little old. A hoe is a hoe. Nobody expects the deadbeat nikka to do anything and rightfully so. He's a deadbeat. He ain't bout shyt. There are just people who are like that. So women should avoid them and if they don't, they are responsible b/c they know what they got themselves into.

But some of you have sooooo much spin when it comes to the same thing dealing with hoes. They keep getting a pass for their behaviors b/c many men desire them. So instead of acknowledging them as hoes and avoiding them, dudes keep trying to hold these women accountable as if a hoe is really gonna be anymore responsible for her womb than a deadbeat is for his seed. No. It's up to you as a man to avoid that charge and stop falling into the same trap.

We're constantly having discourse about blk women liking thugs, but everybody is hush mouth on the choices our men keep making in women. Good men and good women bear the same responsibility to avoid getting caught up in nonsense with trash people.

Thats the thing. I personally am against brothas leaving their kids fatherless and I tell them up front but what can I do when women keep on ignoring red flags and giving these men a chance?

I cant do this myself. i need women to do their part especially because their part is more effective than mines.

 

[O.T.I.S.]

I feel like after a certain point as a woman, you just can't put up with certain shyt from men anymore, and you shouldn't. People make mistakes, but if it's some pattern of behavior you see a nikka doing that ain't right, either address it or just cut your losses. I ain't with the same type of nikka I was with when I was 22. You supposed to do better. Honor yourself. If something doesn't feel right about dude, if dude doesn't honor you, honor yourself and walk away. Before you get in too deep and the behavior is normalized and you rationalize it. You start to think all men are like that. And then it might even be too late. I couldn't fathom the thought of having a baby by a man that I can't stand and wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with. Because having a child with someone is a bigger commitment than marriage.

Exactly

I don't know how people don't understand that.

You can marry someone and get divorced next week and the only person you got to worry about is God.

You have a kid and that's forever.. If you decide to do what nature intended and raise it of course

 

[A Woman's Opinion]

Maybe they should get commitment in the form of marriage before having children. It's a pretty simple concept.

Seems that way, doesn't it?

 

[MadameMoreaux]

The blame is being placed on black women, because in the black community we are the leaders. Leaders always take the blame. The social dynamics are extremely complicated because of several things- the economic oppression of black men, the hyper sexualization of black women, feminism, the increasing level of independence in american society, the decreasing want for marriage by young people, sex acts being portrayed as casual, welfare etc etc etc
The correct social order is as follows: man= leader of the household, primary bread winner, protector of his wife and children. woman= partner and support system for the man, primary caregiver of children, the most trusted confidant
The closer we get to that social order, the better. God made gender roles for a reason. Things get messy otherwise.

 

[el_oh_el]

What really bugs me is, broads who are already struggling single mothers getting pregnant AGAIN by dudes who ain't shyt.

This shyt happens TOO MANY TIMES

 

[Kufismack]

It's funny because I'm sure there are indeed red flags you can spot but they'll look passed them because "Oh he'll change" or some bullshyt. And then blame the man when their original intuition was correct.

 

[The_Truth]

So, we're gonna direct all the hate at the parent who actually attempts to raise the child by herself, and just passively mention the dude who abandoned his responsibility ALL TOGETHER.