Lets talk about relationships, for real.

[NO-BadAzz]

I think every person that wants to get married should understand the opposite sex 1st

I will admit I thought I knew it all and thought I didn't have anything to change about myself and though it was always me dealing with bad women which was the case the majority of the time, but a few weeks ago a friend of mine told me about this book

Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus - I read that book and it opened my eyes literally and made me understand the whole mindset of a woman and myself.

We really are from 2 different planets. This book gives so much insight on how to understand your mate. I had to really re-evaluate what I was doing which I thought what I was doing was right, but reading this book, it allowed me to see myself and learn more about myself and the woman and how we are different. We speak different languages and that's where we don't connect. We haven't really and truly learned about one another.
Every man is the same and every woman is the same but we don't know what that "same" is. This books breaks that down and give you a better understanding of women and men and who we are.

Breh and women I truly truly encourage you to give this book a read

I recommend any and everybody who wants to get married to read this book..

I read the book and finished it, and I opened the book back up the next day and went on to re-read the shyt again, that's how good it is.

 

[Rawtid]

Relationships are gambles. As long as you're not putting a lot of stake into each association before it's time you're good. You can be honest, communicate and still realize you're not on the same page. You can even love someone and realize they aren't right for you. It's very difficult.

 

[FTBS]

The level of self-awareness and acceptance of the truth about herself that OP displayed is just . to you brehette @Miss Lucifer's Love. It's also rare as hell and the reason for most of our issues. Folks don't want to be honest with themselves and damn sure don't want anybody else being honest with them. Too many scarred little boys trying to be HOH or whatever other term is cool now rather than being real with themselves about the pain that has put them in that place. Too many females trying to be like a man rather than being with a real man.

Relationships are work. It's never gonna be easy or perfect. But the key is to find someone that is compatible with you (the real you, not the you the think you are or the you that you want others to think you are, but the real you). You gotta find someone that fits you. I don't care how fine he/she is if ya'll don't fit the shyt ain't gonna work no matter how you try to force it. And that's why we have so many bitter and jaded people now. Years of effort and frustration trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. And then instead of saying "Hey I was wrong. I need to pick better and be better.", you blame the peg and say that all pegs ain't shyt . We gotta do better .

 

[Arishok]

For the young ladies, I've learned if you need advice, go to an older woman who is currently in a successful relationship. Don't ask your friends or peers because no matter what, their advice is always "so and so cheating!" Then you start believing it and going through their private stuff because you have these thoughts that usually aren't true.

The thing I love about my mom's advice is her go to response was never "he cheating". I would vent to her and her advice was always "well just tell him what you told me." Best advice ever that taught me communication and honesty is much better than ranting and jumping to conclusions.


I've also learned to wait a couple of hours to days before I confront my SO because I tend to overreact and say things I don't mean.

 

[old_timer]

i think many people are guilty of over‐thinking and over‐communicating

the thirst for information and guidance is totally out of proportion to the amount of reliable information actually available

most aspects of a relationship can be summed up with "depends"
i know this must be extremely frustrating, but it's the honest truth

yet this isn't good enough..
so people over‐rely on musings and advice from dubious gurus who have little to no actual experience on the topic

Spoiler

or to say it another way..

there is a thin book called "advice for aspiring rocket scientists" .. and it wasn't written by an unemployed dropout living with his parents.. it was literally authored by a successful yet humble rocket scientist

but that wasn't good enough for one aspiring rocket scientist that i knew of
so he spent 100's of hours scouring the internet for "additional advice"
and picked up a lot of wacky notions and unhelpful ideas
which convoluted his thinking
basically.. he was no longer preparing himself to be a real rocket scientist
but learning how to be an bitter internet addict and illegitimate advice giver

 

[wet landscapes]

i think many people are guilty of over‐thinking and over‐communicating

the thirst for information and guidance is totally out of proportion to the amount of reliable information actually available

most aspects of a relationship can be summed up with "depends"
i know this must be extremely frustrating, but it's the honest truth

yet this isn't good enough..
so people over‐rely on musings and advice from dubious gurus who have little to no actual experience on the topic

Spoiler

or to say it another way..

there is a thin book called "advice for aspiring rocket scientists" .. and it wasn't written by an unemployed dropout living with his parents.. it was literally authored by a successful yet humble rocket scientist

but that wasn't good enough for one aspiring rocket scientist that i knew of
so he spent 100's of hours scouring the internet for "additional advice"
and picked up a lot of wacky notions and unhelpful ideas
which convoluted his thinking
basically.. he was no longer preparing himself to be a real rocket scientist
but learning how to be an bitter internet addict and illegitimate advice giver

god damn

 

[Miss Lucifer's Love]

Look at us having a nice discussion and shyt

Imma respond once I get my day wrapped up.

 

[The Mad Titan]

Open and honest communication is key. I realize the importance of that more and more.

Yup, Its the most important factor in any lasting relationship

I think alot of people confused honest communication with simple yes and no answers like..."No I'm not cheating and No I'm not lying" but its way more than that. Open and honest communication is not only between you and the person your with but you and yourself. If you can't be honest with yourself and how your handling thing or acting then you can't communicate and be honest with your partner either

 

[DrX]

no such thing as an relationship and modern society...people are too selfish and broken to commit

 

[iBrowse]

 

[Kitsch]

#GMB really has people tight.

 

[Queen]

You're welcome. Anytime darling.

 

[Miss Lucifer's Love]

Everyone needs to be honest about how they feel and if you are unhappy, your S/O needs to be the person you tell, not your friend, FB, IG, etc.

I swear people will run tell their shyt to everybody on FB before they have said a word to the only other person who is actually supposed to be involved. No one needs to be all in your business, and you're probably only telling the version of the story in which you're the hapless victim, so you're not going to get correct feedback anyway.

The GMB, have never been married so I don't get why they think they can speak on it.

These dudes are frustrated with their lack of success with women and this is an outlet

I always wondered how brehs on here taking relationship advice from people who have never had successful relationships
It's the blind leading the blind like shyt

The level of self-awareness and acceptance of the truth about herself that OP displayed is just . to you brehette

But you can't have self delusions and be in a healthy relationship. You just cant. You need to be your own worst critic so you honestly examine your shortcomings when they're pointed out. I think that's where we fukk up most of the time. We don't want to believe that we could be the problem, so we invent a billion reasons why its them that the problem, not me.

It's also important to be able to see things from your partner's perspective. Looking at things through there eyes can make you realize how they view the situation and how you're coming across to them. There is stuff my husband does that used to irk the shyt out of me until I put myself in his shoes and starting understanding why he did it. Then all of a sudden it stopped bothering me. It's funny how having information can change things.

 

[Black Nate Grey]

100 wins
0 losses

 

[The Devil's Advocate]

The entire GMB movement on the coli seems to be based on the idea that marriage means giving up 50% when in reality marriage is gaining 100%.
A marriage needs mutual respect, a high level of patience with one another, and a compatible level of drive towards similar life goals.

no the movement is based on giving up 50% WHEN YOU DIVORCE

no matter if it's completely the other person's fault.. you can get married... her not work... her fukk 150 men... her slap your mom.. her beat your kids... her spit directly in your face

and she STILL getting half your shyt.... and probably the kids and some child support too


and what did you gain between being together 10 years vs being married 10 years??? a piece of paper

well that paper ain't starting to be a wise idea... not for men