Life aint fair. Rip

[Loken]

I dont feel like a whole person anymore.

i felt that shyt breh lost my mom an a brother in the same year when i was young an just recently lost my sister to cancer in 2019 i still aint right from that shyt between the Depression an the PTSD dealing with things i had to see her go through that year

she lived with it ( thankfully its not as bad as it used to be) was a good month an a half after the funeral where i'd wake up an i could just feel i didn't wanna be here anymore

i take care of my father now if i wasn't looking after him now some days i really don't know what I'd do

i know shyt is upside down for you an everyone involved but the worst thing you can do right now is lose your self in your emotions because people still need you an i know it is very easy to just say fukk it an give in most days

but nobody can force you outta that hole your in an its gonna take time to get out it doesn't have to be in leaps an bounds just small steps what could i do better today that i didn't do yesterday

 

[Mrhateeverything]

I’m so sorry breh . I was crying reading your post , I can’t even imagine the pain . My deepest condolences. May your son Rest In Peace .

 

[Problematic Pat]

Get you and your wife councling ASAP. The way you described her I've seen it first hand and it will lead to the end of your marriage if you both don't get any help. She's in a vulnerable state and she needs you to confide in and comfort her. A family therapist would also be helpful for your kids

 

[Monsanto]

I recall reading some of your posts on Medium, this writing here is in a way your prelude to therapy. A familiar habit that you can let loose towards.

I'm not sure if your wife or kids have a similar outlet but please work together on this. The quarantine doesn't help, so you all will be forced to look at this again. Please consider grief counseling or therapy.

Psychologytoday.com

Use this site above for someone in your state. Even if it is just to browse for now. Please use it.

Especially for kids when they lose someone, their methods of coping aren't fully established. They'll go by the guide of what they see.

I'm heartbroken after reading that you and your family have to endure this.

I call that the sun's rays may shine a new light upon you and your family.

 

[jadillac]

I don't have any words breh. Just day by day

 

[BaRRyG]

You're one strong brother

I'm feeling for you bro.

I don't know what to tell you.

This is my worse nightmare. Any parents nightmare

 

[BaviKingVA]

RIP to your child. He is at peace. I hope you and your family recover my friend.

 

[Houston911]

Rip to your son

 

[Shadow]

Rest in peace to your son.

It's good you've found will enough to actually write it out. I know it must have been tough. As others have suggested I believe couples counselling/therapy will be good for you and your wife to hopefully get you two in a better state of mind, but it's still going to be hard.

The road ahead doesn't have to be as painful, but there will be pain. That's okay. You can bear it, but it doesn't have to be alone. It's okay to cry and speak honestly. Take it one day at a time. You and your wife created something beautiful. You still have that to hold onto. It's just that now, that beauty you two created lives within your heart.

 

[MajesticLion]

i felt that shyt breh lost my mom an a brother in the same year when i was young an just recently lost my sister to cancer in 2019 i still aint right from that shyt between the Depression an the PTSD dealing with things i had to see her go through that year

she lived with it ( thankfully its not as bad as it used to be) was a good month an a half after the funeral where i'd wake up an i could just feel i didn't wanna be here anymore

i take care of my father now if i wasn't looking after him now some days i really don't know what I'd do

i know shyt is upside down for you an everyone involved but the worst thing you can do right now is lose your self in your emotions because people still need you an i know it is very easy to just say fukk it an give in most days

but nobody can force you outta that hole your in an its gonna take time to get out it doesn't have to be in leaps an bounds just small steps what could i do better today that i didn't do yesterday

Real talk.


Peace and blessings.

 

[Verbal Kint]

I appreciate the love. The day after i posted this the wife asked for a divorce. That bytch. I been nothing but a good and faithful husband to this woman. She got all sorts of trauma feom her fukked up childhood. Given her love, patience, kindness, all that. But she aint happy. I dedicated my life to my family and now its gone. Aint got shyt else to live for. Shot is fukked up. Apent my life trying to do right. Put my family first. Pit my wife first. Took in her younger brothers and raised them like my own. Took in her addict mother and let her live with us, ahowed nothing but respect to her. Lived in her hometown. Embraced her family like my own. Gave her space gave her love. Did everything i could for her. Now she wants to leave me. My life is fukking over. I grew up an only child of divorce. All i ever wanted was a family of my own. My worst fear was losing a child. Every fathers day i said all i wanted was a healthy family. That was taken from me. Growing up my biggest fear was growing old alone. I grew up alone. Had no siblings, no first or second cousins. I said when i got married it was for life. Real talk Id deal with damn near anything short of cheating because i aint wanna be alone. She knew that. She said it was forever. She would say ‘me and you till the world blows up’. She would say divorce wasn’t and option. But now she wants to leave. Im fukked up. Cant do this shyt no more. And I miss my boy. All i have left of him is this fukking video. Look at my boy yall. He was perfect

Cameron Reeves Video

 

[Verbal Kint]

fukk allathis

 

[Verbal Kint]

Got my glock, got the oxy, got the crown, got the pills. Gonna get this shyt done. Been praying all day. Shot still fukked.

 

[Heretic]

Got my glock, got the oxy, got the crown, got the pills. Gonna get this shyt done. Been praying all day. Shot still fukked.

Bro, just take a minute to decompress. You need to talk to someone. Do you have a counselor or therapist you can call?

 

[Ohene]

My son died. June 29th 2020. It was 2 days before his 10th birthday. He was my favorite person in the world. My first born son is 16 and a great athlete. I have 5 year old twin boys with locs and theyre the cutest kids ever. Been married to my only baby mama for over 10 years. But its been damn near a year and I wish I never had kids and a family. Therapy and zoloft helped me no longer want to die, but I struggle daily to find something to live for. Wife is a husk of herself. Just broken. Im trying though. Just recorded an episode of my podcast for the first time since... working on getting the book I finished last May published. Even wrote 3 chapters in the novel Im working on. But shyts hard. Me and God still aint right. I’d just gotten up the energy to start working on me a month or so ago. Lost 10 pounds in 3 weeks from eating right and working out. Started hooping again. Then I tore my achilles about 2.5 weeks ago. Had surgery Monday. Been laid up in my room alone all week. Our friend and her girls had moved in with us for a few months due to some tough times and they moved out last weekend. Immediately the wife gets our kids back in their rooms. Thats cool. We talked about the biggest room being an office/guest room and moving the 16 yr old into a smaller room. What does she do? Moves all her shyt into that room. No discussions, nothing. I know she’s probably mad cause I wasn’t very supportive on Mother’s day, but I was injured and had to quarantine before surgeryz and she’d previously told me she just wanted to spend the day with her mom, it being her first mothers day since our boy passed, and oh yea, her dad (the best man Ive ever known) died 2 months ago so it was her moms first mothers day without him. Instead she sat on the couch silent all day after barely talking all week. I didnt know what to do. So yea, she’s brought me food and water 2/3 times a day but hasnt spent more than 1 extra minute in here all week. So shyt sucks. Ive been fukked up all year missing my boy. I try to take solace in the knowledge that many people lose children. But damn if I don’t sometimes want to get this shyt over with. If it wasn’t for these other kids I probably would have. Its crazy that you can go your whole life being you and doing you and be good. Then you have kids and all the sudden they matter more than you. I was a whole ass man before they even existed and now one is taken from me and I aint shyt. I dont feel like a whole person anymore. Hell I can barely say his name still. I dont know why Im posting all this. Maybe the Oxy got to me, but shyt is rough man

sorryr for your loss and i hope your injury heals up well fam

life is a sick joke man. i can only empathize with your loss but i know exactly how you feel regarding life