Make up a better lie than the poster above you.

[Neuromancer]

I have a 6 year old daughter who I gave birth to. But this forum thinks I'm a transexual.

Wait..... are you lying ?

 

[Neuromancer]

& I invented the ampersand symbol.

I'm a gay man married to an Israeli woman raising two white Jewish children in Berkeley. One is a jock and science geek and the other doesn't view articles of clothing as gender specific.

He made that decision because he saw me wrapping my hair to maintain its shape.

Top that.

Wait. She's jewish?

 

[Boujee Bonita Braxton]

I wanna punch him, whenever i see him call you old

Thanks, Sugar. Someone has my back.

 

[Neuromancer]

Thanks, Sugar. Someone has my back.

So you're not 40?

 

[Scuti]

titties > ass

Spoiler

 

[Standing on business]

The mods are great

 

[Boujee Bonita Braxton]

So you're not 40?

 

[Mac Brown]

It's ok. Most of these posters are toddlers

You just got that auntie look


I look like this without smiling if that makes you feel better

 

[Boujee Bonita Braxton]

It's ok. Most of these posters are toddlers

You just got that auntie look


I look like this without smiling if that makes you feel better

Are you actually bald though?

 

[Mac Brown]

Are you actually bald though?

No


It was all a lie

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

Wait. She's jewish?

Yes my wife is Jewish and from Israel. She has dual citizenship in Canada. She's only a citizen in this country because I married her and I'm American. Our two kids are American citizens with dual citizenship in Israel. Technically They're Mexican Israeli Americans who practice Judaism.

They speak English, Spanish, Hebrew, Italian, and a little french. As do I.

 

[Boujee Bonita Braxton]

No


It was all a lie

Damn this tricky ass thread!

 

[CoochieMane]

It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bytches I know, Jessica. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to fukk her. So be it.
I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferraris have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my dikk. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my dikk.

Flash forward 10 minutes later. My 30 inch dikk is going inside of her VAGINA, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm fukking her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my dikk. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.

I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home

 

[BigMan]

It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bytches I know, Jessica. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to fukk her. So be it.
I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferraris have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my dikk. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my dikk.

Flash forward 10 minutes later. My 30 inch dikk is going inside of her VAGINA, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm fukking her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my dikk. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.

I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home

I read every word of this

 

[Neuromancer]

It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bytches I know, Jessica. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to fukk her. So be it.
I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferraris have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my dikk. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my dikk.

Flash forward 10 minutes later. My 30 inch dikk is going inside of her VAGINA, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm fukking her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my dikk. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.

I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home

I lost it at the triple back flip.