Crayola Coyote
Superstar
You carrying this dead weight everywhere you went, hot damn! the simp has no limits.
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Married and Divorced twice before 30.
- Thread starter General Mills
- Start date
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
Quick backtrack. . . My ex wife. . The first one. The middle daughter who turned out to be a dyke. . I met her actually. Did not know it was her. She cussed me out. She worked drive thru at a Taco Bell.
I am the proud owner of a 4.5 pound teacup chihuahua. Ex gf 2.5 years ago. . I had bought him for her cause she wanted a purse dog. We broke up after 2 years and it was decided I would take the dog. He did not like her really anyway.
I got off work at night and decided to go to the Bell. Get me a Baja Blast and some Dorito Tacos. Took lil homie with me. As soon as we get in the drive thru he starts going nuts. He can smell his hometown cooking. 
I threw 
his little ass in the backseat. . The girl taking my order was the Dyke! 
But I did not recognize her. . She did not recognize me either cause she did not have time too. As soon as I started to give her my card my lil dog crawled under the passenger seat. . .jumped on the seat, jumped off my lap and jumped 
smooth thru the drive thru window! 
Snatched a soft taco and back into my whip!! Jumped in the back seat and started fukking the taco up! 
The Dyke was cussing cause when he jumped threw the window he surprised her ( and me ) and somehow cut her with one his nails. She started bleeding like crazy. . She then threw my Baja blast at me. . Got my shirt all wet up. . I just drove to the house and made peanut butter and jelly for dinner. 
I am the proud owner of a 4.5 pound teacup chihuahua. Ex gf 2.5 years ago. . I had bought him for her cause she wanted a purse dog. We broke up after 2 years and it was decided I would take the dog. He did not like her really anyway.
I got off work at night and decided to go to the Bell. Get me a Baja Blast and some Dorito Tacos. Took lil homie with me. As soon as we get in the drive thru he starts going nuts. He can smell his hometown cooking. I threw his little ass in the backseat. . The girl taking my order was the Dyke! But I did not recognize her. . She did not recognize me either cause she did not have time too. As soon as I started to give her my card my lil dog crawled under the passenger seat. . .jumped on the seat, jumped off my lap and jumped smooth thru the drive thru window! Snatched a soft taco and back into my whip!! Jumped in the back seat and started fukking the taco up! The Dyke was cussing cause when he jumped threw the window he surprised her ( and me ) and somehow cut her with one his nails. She started bleeding like crazy. . She then threw my Baja blast at me. . Got my shirt all wet up. . I just drove to the house and made peanut butter and jelly for dinner. 
She continues to call me periodically. Asking to meet up etc. . I say. . Girl aren't you getting married.She says its just for money. Its a African dude who wants to be a US. Citizen. I deleted her number and blocked her.
the visual is killing me.
And I thought I was having a bad day. Only on page 5 and @General Mills is taking major L's. He is a gawd
Quick backtrack. . . My ex wife. . The first one. The middle daughter who turned out to be a dyke. . I met her actually. Did not know it was her. She cussed me out. She worked drive thru at a Taco Bell.
I am the proud owner of a 4.5 pound teacup chihuahua. Ex gf 2.5 years ago. . I had bought him for her cause she wanted a purse dog. We broke up after 2 years and it was decided I would take the dog. He did not like her really anyway.
Rigamortus
Superstar
Quick backtrack. . . My ex wife. . The first one. The middle daughter who turned out to be a dyke. . I met her actually. Did not know it was her. She cussed me out. She worked drive thru at a Taco Bell.
I am the proud owner of a 4.5 pound teacup chihuahua. Ex gf 2.5 years ago. . I had bought him for her cause she wanted a purse dog. We broke up after 2 years and it was decided I would take the dog. He did not like her really anyway.
Yup I feel for them, I bet the little girl was devastated after Disney worldI wouldn't have gave the kids back. fukk that. I would have went to court. They probably was likewhen the grandma caalled
@General Mills you a real stand up dude 
theres a lot of demonic dudes who would have taken advantage of her daughter
theres a lot of demonic dudes who would have taken advantage of her daughter
agnosticlady
AL loves da kids : )
Yup I feel for them, I bet the little girl was devastated after Disney world
Stuff like that really makes me thankful for the parents that I have. Some people literally just become products of their environments. It is not common for one to break away from that if that is all that they know.
sportscribe
Superstar
As soon as I started to give her my card my lil dog crawled under the passenger seat. . .jumped on the seat, jumped off my lap and jumped
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
Well me and this chick start getting to know each other. I had been on a string of ghetto ass chicks. Now I can adapt to any situation . .But I was not raised that way. . And I do not think I am aggressive enough for some hood chicks so it never worked out. When I met Church Girl. . She was a breath of fresh air. . Christian girl. Real Christian. She was a teacher. No kids. Own her own home, no kids. She did not club at all. Just church and work. We spent time together. She told me she liked me but no fukking. 
Honestly I was ok with that. I was in no rush. And it was cool getting to know her. No pressure. We would chill and watch movies. . Either at my house or hers. Meanwhile.. . My living situation got crazy.
My roommates cousin moved in. . . He was from Jamaica also. He was a drug dealer straight up. It was crazy. . We would all leave the house to go to work.
He would too. He had a room at this hood hotel on Phillips Highway. ( same hotel I got arrested at cause they thought I was running drugs ) He would serve all day out of the hotel room then come home. I was cool with that. I told him no problem . . Just don't sell no crack where you rest at. 
And he didn't. . For a while. . Then he got lazy. Started serving out the house. . Did not realize until one day I was home and fiends were coming to the door. I told my roomie. .Ayo. . That's your fam. . But this has to stop. The manager of the complex.. . her brother was a cop. At night he would sit in the parking lot and do paperwork. Roomie told him but breh was getting more wild. I still had PA tags on my car. . Woke up one night at 4am out the blue. . Looked out the window and that cracker cop was running my plates. 
The next night I came home early and he is cooking
crack in the kitchen.
Enough was enough. . I told them both I was moving out tomorrow. Cause if the cops kick the door in . .They will not want to hear I had nothing to do with it. I called her and told her do not come over to the house no more. I am moving into a hotel until I get a apartment. She said just move in with me. I got plenty of room. I was
But decided why not. . Moved into my room. . . We fukked that night. 
It was fantastic. 
Honestly I was ok with that. I was in no rush. And it was cool getting to know her. No pressure. We would chill and watch movies. . Either at my house or hers. Meanwhile.. . My living situation got crazy.My roommates cousin moved in. . . He was from Jamaica also. He was a drug dealer straight up. It was crazy. . We would all leave the house to go to work.
He would too. He had a room at this hood hotel on Phillips Highway. ( same hotel I got arrested at cause they thought I was running drugs ) He would serve all day out of the hotel room then come home. I was cool with that. I told him no problem . . Just don't sell no crack where you rest at. And he didn't. . For a while. . Then he got lazy.
Started serving out the house. . Did not realize until one day I was home and fiends were coming to the door. I told my roomie. .Ayo. . That's your fam. . But this has to stop. The manager of the complex.. . her brother was a cop. At night he would sit in the parking lot and do paperwork. Roomie told him but breh was getting more wild. I still had PA tags on my car. . Woke up one night at 4am out the blue. . Looked out the window and that cracker cop was running my plates. The next night I came home early and he is cooking crack in the kitchen.Enough was enough. . I told them both I was moving out tomorrow. Cause if the cops kick the door in . .They will not want to hear I had nothing to do with it. I called her and told her do not come over to the house no more. I am moving into a hotel until I get a apartment. She said just move in with me. I got plenty of room. I was
But decided why not. . Moved into my room. . . We fukked that night. It was fantastic. 
Drew Wonder
Superstar
Second Wife. . Lets call her Janet. . This one is the Church Girl.
Divorce has been final. In that time I was still in PA. If yall read my stories it was around the time I met the homies BIG and Eiht. Eiht got exposed for having no hair underneath is fitted and BIG got exposed for wearing a girdle. . And also around the time I met the white girl with the demonic kids. The girl who was going off on me cause I touched the lights in the house and the lil boy threw a rock in my back window.
I was in PA kinda doing my thing. . . When I get call from a old homie when I was in the Jax. ( Not Hump or Pretty Boy ) He was moving back to Jax cause his mom was sick. She lived 45 minutes away in St Augustine. This was the homie who laughed at me when I thought the crabs came back to life.
He said aye. . Lets get a spot. I said sure. We ended up moving in together. . Had a falling out. ( that is another story ) Ended up getting a new roomie. This Jamaican cat. He was actually like me. Kinda introverted. A self proclaimed nice guy. We both worked. He was a janitor at a middle school. One day he says to me. . Aye. . You need to meet one of these teachers at my school. She reminds me of you! She is dark skinned like you, yall have the same birthday, even our names were similar. His Blazer was in the shop so I had been dropping him off at work. He said tomorrow when you drop me off come inside and sit in the lobby and I will tell her to come down there.
So I am sitting there waiting when this chick comes walking down. She was fine!Not dark as I was expecting. But classy fine. I figure she knows I am waiting for her so I start spitting. She is steady ignoring me. I keep on following her while spitting. She is smiling but still walking. . I like the game so keep on throwing out my funniest jokes. . Get her giggling. . We exchange numbers.
When my homie gets home from work he isWhy didn't you just tell me you did not want to meet her? She waited for like 20 minutes for you. . I was
I was talking to the wrong damn girl!
this dude is like the black version of Charlie Brown, good grief 
@General Mills the #GMB Martyr...his life shows us why them letters radiate with the strength of 1000 suns 