Married Women Are ‘Self-Centered’ Says Single Millennial, Reason Goes Viral

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Well isn't this right up my ally

I watched the whole video and I read the part of the article where she talked about married women not investing as much into their single friends.

I'll sum up both then give my opinion.

Video summary: Women who choose not to be in relationships rather than be in a "bad" relationship are more intelligent than women who would do the opposite.

My opinion: She's right to an extent.

Choosing to be happy with self is a better decision that being with just anybody.

I hate to break it to you but a lot of women have such little standards. MANY MANY women are not with the man they want to be with and it shows. They get with a man that's good enough but after the dust settles the true feelings comes out.

I can't imagine disrespecting and withholding sex from a man I truly want and desire. However you see this behavior in more women than not. That should tell you what it is.

I wouldn't use the word "intelligent" though. That's an ugly way to put it. I would say emotionally mature, self validating etc.

I personally want to be respected and seen in a relationship. If I can't get that then I will stay single.

Article summary: Married women want support, attention and energy from their single friends but don't reciprocate ie women abandon their friends once they get married.

I would actually say this is a woman problem; not a married woman problem.

If ya'll knew how many "friends" I have lost over some random shyt they made up in their heads concerning a man you'd be shocked.

Half of them then come crawling back after the dude played or dumbed their ass.

I goes back to the video and the desperation of many women and they're need to fill in the relationship slot.

I've NEVER tried a friends boyfriend/husband nor have they tried me. But I've had friends try almost everyone of mines.

Basically these hoes ain't loyal. Too jealous, too insecure and too desperate. They don't value their friends because they really don't think they can hold down their man.

Many only offer coochie and labor so they are probably right but instead of fixing it they lash out at the closest woman.



I had a friend stop talking to me because her boyfriend said I was "funny."

Another got mad at me because she thought I was flirting (I wasn't) with a guy who wouldn't claim her. We all worked together. Meanwhile he was smashing 3 other women at the job.

My best friend in high school tried to smash my ex and then tried to play dumb. But she's didn't know he would talk about her like a dog for the way she looked.

So, yes, disloyalty due to the desperation of seeking male validation and attention is an issue among women. I have felt it many many times.

In regards to married women, I think that's unfair. If their husband or partner is investing time, energy, money etc into them then their partner SHOULD BE the priority.

Attending a damn wedding or baby shower is not investment. She needs to GTFOOHWTBS.

That part is giving jellybean. Lol

To bring it home, yes, these women need to make better decisions in who and how they date and as a result of their desperate decisions, these hoes ain't loyal to their female friends. But married women are well within their right to fall back. That doesn't make them a bad friend.

 

[Kiyoshi-Dono]

Well isn't this right up my ally

I watched the whole video and I read the part of the article where she talked about married women not investing as much into their single friends.

I'll sum up both then give my opinion.

Video summary: Women who choose not to be in relationships rather than be in a "bad" relationship are more intelligent than women who would do the opposite.

My opinion: She's right to an extent.

Choosing to be happy with self is a better decision that being with just anybody.

I hate to break it to you but a lot of women have such little standards. MANY MANY women are not with the man they want to be with and it shows. They get with a man that's good enough but after the dust settles the true feelings comes out.

I can't imagine disrespecting and withholding sex from a man I truly want and desire. However you see this behavior in more women than not. That should tell you what it is.

I wouldn't use the word "intelligent" though. That's an ugly way to put it. I would say emotionally mature, self validating etc.

I personally want to be respected and seen in a relationship. If I can't get that then I will stay single.

Article summary: Married women want support, attention and energy from their single friends but don't reciprocate ie women abandon their friends once they get married.

I would actually say this is a woman problem; not a married woman problem.

If ya'll knew how many "friends" I have lost over some random shyt they made up in their heads concerning a man you'd be shocked.

Half of them then come crawling back after the dude played or dumbed their ass.

I goes back to the video and the desperation of many women and they're need to fill in the relationship slot.

I've NEVER tried a friends boyfriend/husband nor have they tried me. But I've had friends try almost everyone of mines.

Basically these hoes ain't loyal. Too jealous, too insecure and too desperate. They don't value their friends because they really don't think they can hold down their man.

Many only offer coochie and labor so they are probably right but instead of fixing it they lash out at the closest woman.



I had a friend stop talking to me because her boyfriend said I was "funny."

Another got mad at me because she thought I was flirting (I wasn't) with a guy who wouldn't claim her. We all worked together. Meanwhile he was smashing 3 other women at the job.

My best friend in high school tried to smash my ex and then tried to play dumb. But she's didn't know he would talk about her like a dog for the way she looked.

So, yes, disloyalty due to the desperation of seeking male validation and attention is an issue among women. I have felt it many many times.

In regards to married women, I think that's unfair. If their husband or partner is investing time, energy, money etc into them then their partner SHOULD BE the priority.

Attending a damn wedding or baby shower is not investment. She needs to GTFOOHWTBS.

That part is giving jellybean. Lol

To bring it home, yes, these women need to make better decisions in who and how they date and as a result of their desperate decisions, these hoes ain't loyal to their female friends. But married women are well within their right to fall back. That doesn't make them a bad friend.

 

[Windows 91]

Is that just skin discoloration or is she really growing a goatee like that?

 

[Roid Jones]

Married fellas of the coli please keep your wife away from her bat shyt crazy single friends

 

[Phitz]

Self centered is her for coming up with this backwards logic


So someone who puts time into their husband and children should invest more time into someone who may or may not have her family's best interest.

Married Women Are ‘Self-Centered’ Says Single Millennial, Reason Goes Viral​

---

Published
Nov 14, 2025 at 11:45 AM EST
updated
Nov 14, 2025 at 11:46 AM EST



By Alyce Collins
Life and Trends Reporter


Newsweek is a Trust Project member
A single woman has gone viral after sharing her take on why she thinks marriage makes women become "very self-centered."
Posting to her 27,700 TikTok followers, Ashanti, 36, said that she thinks married women don’t invest enough time into the lives of their single friends. While unmarried women are expected to attend bachelorette and engagement parties, baby showers, and celebrate every milestone, Ashanti doesn’t believe that married friends give the same energy in return.
Indeed, Ashanti, who resides in New York, told Newsweek that married women tend to "become deeply absorbed in their identities as wives and mothers." As a result, they pull back from the female friendships they have held for many years, according to Ashanti, who goes by @unpunishablewoman online.
"While some reorientation is natural, what we often see is that many married women completely neglect or abandon their single friends," Ashanti said. "When children arrive, many friendships become entirely dictated by motherhood—social time revolves around the child, and adult-to-adult connection disappears."

Ashanti, 36, explains on camera why she thinks married women become self-centered. @unpunishablewoman / TikTok | @unpunishablewoman / TikTok
Single friends may not hit the same milestone events as those in relationships, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t succeeding or thriving. Ashanti said that women will gladly support their friends through every life event, from proposals to pregnancy, but do those in relationships ever champion their single friends?
This is, in part, why Ashanti believes that many women treat their single friends merely as "emotional placeholders" during the dating phase of their life.
Ashanti said: "Single friends are frequently viewed through stereotypical lenses as jealous, naive, or even as threats. There’s also a subtle hierarchy that emerges where some married women see their own lives as more purposeful because of marriage and motherhood, and that shift often shows as reduced enthusiasm toward their single friends’ lives, goals, and achievements.

Read More

​

More Related Stories
"Even when conversations happen, they often revolve around dating—treated as light entertainment rather than real-life experiences. But when it comes to celebrating professional wins, creative pursuits, or milestones unrelated to partnership, the energy isn’t the same," she continued.
Although Ashanti hasn’t spoken to many men about this phenomenon, she said it predominantly impacts women. It is widely expected that a woman will overhaul her life for marriage or children, and that often leaves them making significant sacrifices.
Lisa Rabinowitz, a certified Gottman and PACT couples’ therapist and relationship coach, told Newsweek that what is often considered as self-centered may actually be a sign of "cognitive overload."
As a licensed clinical professional counselor, Rabinowitz said that women’s feelings toward their friends don’t necessarily change, it is just that time constraints and their emotional energy are impacted.

Rabinowitz said: "In therapy, many women share that, when they got married, they felt like they had to start juggling their partner’s needs, the household and their needs. They describe how frustrated and disappointed they feel that they are dropping the friend ball.
"What looks like self-centeredness is often simply not having the bandwidth to deal with one more issue. Their mental and emotional energy is consumed by what’s immediately in front of them."
Rather than having a spontaneous connection with friends, Rabinowitz said that women with other responsibilities may have to shift toward an "intentional connection" instead. This can be done through sending short messages to check in with single friends. Likewise, single friends should communicate their feelings if they feel rejected or let down.
"Your relationship has changed, but it doesn’t mean it’s over. I believe that mutual empathy and compassion can foster friendships during times of change," Rabinowitz said.

The Online Response​

After sharing her thoughts online, Ashanti has been blown away by the social-media response. The TikTok video has generated over 272,700 views and more than 30,200 likes at the time of writing.
Evidently, her perspective struck a nerve with others.
"Single women don’t expect friendships to look exactly the same as before marriage, but they do hope for occasional meaningful connection and reliability," Ashanti said. "Too often, contact only resumes when the married friend is struggling because the single friend represents a familiar, safe outlet."
Many women reached out to Ashanti to thank her for speaking about something that has left them feeling abandoned by their own friends. But not everyone agrees, as some commented to justify the breakdown of friendships as life progresses.

Either way, Ashanti told Newsweek that this clearly isn’t a niche issue, and it is a "widespread emotional fracture" between women of all backgrounds. She said married women should celebrate their single friends, listen to their needs, and just be present.
Ashanti continued: "Single friends just want acknowledgment and meaningful interest. They don’t expect daily calls or endless free time; they just want to be seen. When you do connect, focus on the friendship itself, not only your marriage or kids."
Do you have any viral videos or pictures that you want to share? We want to see the best ones! Send them in to life@newsweek.com and they could appear on our site.
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Married women are “self-centered” says single millennial, reason goes viral

Ashanti, 36, told Newsweek that she thinks it is common for married women to "completely neglect or abandon their single friends."

www.newsweek.com

 

[UpNext]

"Although Ashanti hasn’t spoken to many men about this phenomenon, she said it predominantly impacts women."


Nah don't bring men into this. We say this kinda dude is acting like a bytch because only a female could feel a way about their friend prioritizing family over them. Like this is shyt y'all do.

 

[315]

Why it look like somebody tried to erase her mustache?

 

[Doobie Doo]

"Although Ashanti hasn’t spoken to many men about this phenomenon, she said it predominantly impacts women."


Nah don't bring men into this. We say this kinda dude is acting like a bytch because only a female could feel a way about their friend prioritizing family over them. Like this is shyt y'all do.

But you agreed she's right

 

[UpNext]

But you agreed she's right

Yep. Good wives do prioritize family over single friends.

 

[MicIsGod]

Get that lined up

Shut up she know somebody that like it

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

this is actually how a lot of women feel, and it's not about their married friends per se, it's about the traditional role of a woman. many women feel invisible in adulthood given the rally points for them are engagements/bachelorettes/weddings, pregnancy/baby shower(s). this is a common discussion among adult women, but she muddied it by going after married women instead of focusing on the issue which is more what we think women should be celebrated for.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

this is actually how a lot of women feel, and it's not about their married friends per se, it's about the traditional role of a woman. many women feel invisible in adulthood given the rally points for them are engagements/bachelorettes/weddings, pregnancy/baby shower(s). this is a common discussion among adult women, but she muddied it by going after married women self centered instead of focusing on the issue which is more what we think women should be celebrated for.

I think this is true but I think it also highlights the lack of drive and social skills in women.

A lot of women lean heavily into "societal expectations" to try to explain away why they can't get the attention they seek when in reality they're just boring, have shytty personalities and/or have nothing going for themselves.

 

[Still Benefited]

long story short, she's jealous

feel some type of way because your friends are creating families and you're not brehettes

bytch we're grown adults out here imagine me gettin' mad at my homies that got wives and kids cuz they don't really got the time to be out and about like they used to

She nailed this 100%,the choice to be single is a sign of high intelligence or at least common sense/discernment. She will potentially make a valuable queen one day.


But what shes saying in the OP gives us pause.


"Single friends are frequently viewed through stereotypical lenses as jealous, naive, or even as threats. There’s also a subtle hierarchy that emerges where some married women see their own lives as more purposeful because of marriage and motherhood, and that shift often shows as reduced enthusiasm toward their single friends’ lives, goals, and achievements."


It takes a wise woman to understand the nature of women after years of experience,as well as her own. This is why we loved them enough to marry or become righteously attached



They also may have chosen a husband whos wise enough to understand these things and thinks on her behalf#S.I.S. Nothing personal,but Proverbs 31 and hellhound should be like oil and water.

 

[BaggerofTea]

Mental illness is rampant among our women

 

[Umoja]

Half of these problems exist because people refuse to grow up.

This wasn't a problem for my parents' generation, or at least the social circles they moved in, because the structure would account for children. Instead of sipping mimosas and hitting the clubs, there would be house parties and social gatherings that welcomed kids.

I do think some of the problems are caused by the financial state of things. People are no longer in a position to buy homes so you're seeing a somewhat prolonged young adulthood period. I also feel that some of this shyt is fueled by social media encouraging people to not grow up.

I'm any event, there is something ironic about calling someone self-centred for investing time in their family because they no longer have time to listen to your problems.