Men's advice on dating for women

[The M.I.C.]

You a psychologist breh?

Psychiatrist.

I use a lot of psychotherapy in my practice.

 

[AB Ziggy]

From all your posts from this thread. This is what I feel.

It sounds you're good to be a side chick, but not really a standout from the next one to really cuff this dude in from talking to other chicks.

To keep a man, you need to have something to bring to the table that you feel defines you specifically. He would've noticed that and would go out of his way to change his behavior to make you happy and secure. What exactly do you have that other bytches in his roster aren't already doing for him? That's the question.

Another thing, you sound pretty passive and don't take action for what you want or don't want. If he is still not trying to be exclusive and good to you, leave. It sounds you only like him superficially and realize only now that the connection isn't really there, especially on his part.

 

[CinnaSlim]

From all your posts from this thread. This is what I feel.

It sounds you're good to be a side chick, but not really a standout from the next one to really cuff this dude in from talking to other chicks.

To keep a man, you need to have something to bring to the table that you feel defines you specifically. He would've noticed that and would go out of his way to change his behavior to make you happy and secure. What exactly do you have that other bytches in his roster aren't already doing for him? That's the question.

Another thing, you sound pretty passive and don't take action for what you want or don't want. If he is still not trying to be exclusive and good to you, leave. It sounds you only like him superficially and realize only now that the connection isn't really there, especially on his part.

He does want to be exclusive. He does claim me. Again, he's not the one approaching females. I just expect a man to set boundaries when he's in a relationship. To check a chick when she tries to cross them.

Instead he's too passive/friendly with them IMO.

Im not worried about keeping a man. I just focus on whether I want to deal with them or not. If I feel like it isn't worth the drama or baggage I'll move on.

 

[Guess Who]

also, no offense but you sound annoying to be around in a romantic context. the reason i say this is because you cuss out a dude you're not even in a relationship with (no matter how "light" it was that shyt is barely even tolerable in a relationship), you don't tell him want you want from him and upset he can't read your mind, seem very passive aggressive.

my advice is to be more direct but in a respectful way. if you're unhappy about something, tell him, if you want or need something, tell him. if he can't or is unwilling, respect the fact he it's his choice and decide if it's something you're willing to compromise on or if it's a dealbreaker.

This should have closed the thread.

 

[Just like bruddas]

Has valuable input but I wasnt mentioned so

 

[CinnaSlim]

Has valuable input but I wasnt mentioned so

Your input is very much wanted and appreciated.

 

[PinotNoir]

I just hear all the time on the coli about how women pass up good dudes for shallow reasons. And I know when you get in a relationship, there is "some assembly required" you have to learn the likes and dislikes of the other person and adjust to them.

To be more specific, I live near Quantico. I am cool with a bunch of Marines. So it's not a money thing. It's more like I feel like if I'm seeing someone I want a certain level of respect. I dont want to be treated the same as any other chicks. If I'm your girl, I wanna feel special. I'd like for the man I want to be with to introduce me to his friends, claim me publically, check chicks that overstep boundaries, etc. I'm not a jealous chick but I generally date men who are very attractive and friendly so I know chicks will flirt. I dont want to be fighting bytches over men.

Or even something as simple as being on time, remembering that we made plans, including me in things.

TLDR: I'm very passive/submissive. I just don't want to be taken for granted.

the bold, please work on it, abusive men like passive and submissive women in general. You'll come off as boring maybe even disinterested or whatever to other guys when you don't speak up. I had to learn to stop being passive but keep that sweet demeanor all while asserting myself, met a great man and been together for a year now. Good luck.

 

[Max Power]

1. Have a vagina.
2. Say "Yes" or "No".

It's not that difficult for women.

 

[Malcolmxxx_23]

@Prynce
@Willstyles

 

[The ADD]

Fam ^^^

 

[CinnaSlim]

the bold, please work on it, abusive men like passive and submissive women in general. You'll come off as boring maybe even disinterested or whatever to other guys when you don't speak up. I had to learn to stop being passive but keep that sweet demeanor all while asserting myself, met a great man and been together for a year now. Good luck.

Thanks luv, I'm submissive but I'm picky with whom I am submissive to.

I'm passive in that, I'd rather not fight to make someone change, I'd just like to remove myself from the situation. And I just wanted to be sure that I am giving people enough time and chances and not just passing up on good people because I was impatient. Or wasting my time by waiting too long for them to adjust to my needs and wants

 

[PinotNoir]

Thanks luv, I'm submissive but I'm picky with whom I am submissive to.

I'm passive in that, I'd rather not fight to make someone change, I'd just like to remove myself from the situation. And I just wanted to be sure that I am giving people enough time and chances and not just passing up on good people because I was impatient. Or wasting my time by waiting too long for them to adjust to my needs and wants

YOUR time is precious and if you've communicated to him your wants/needs, but he only agrees to it verbally, then you know what needs to happen. Seems your first action with leaving was correct. You have to see yourself as the prize because if you don't, you'll think you're missing out by giving second and third chances. Perhaps set a time frame like 6 months to a 1 year (which I think is too long) to see how things progress. YOUR time is valuable and if they're not meeting expectation after you two have talked things out, take a step back and look at other options.

 

[Art Barr]

nikka, why you always hating? That's not at all what I'm talking about yet you always projecting.
The whole point is that I end up staying too long trying to make shyt work that aint working. I'm trying to find a middle ground.

I don't date for money. I married my ex when we were dead broke. Courthouse wedding, we brought cheap rings at the mall about $100 for the whole thing, (license, rings, ceremony). He left me not the other way around but continue to act like you know my life.

@Phoenix Reborn You were right lol

Wow, this is commendable brehette.
I respect you cause that shyt is what a real woman would do.
Hopefully that did not make you jaded or turn to the golddigging side.


Art Barr

 

[MooseMouthMthafuga]

The relationship has to be about something bigger than both of you.A common objective.Both parties have to be selfless & focused on the objective.

If not, you'll just focus on each other.Which, IMO, is a dangerous thing

It can't just be about making each other happy.That will come naturally if goals are being met.

It has to be something you're building towards.

Too many times we get into relationships expecting/depending on another person to make us happy

And that approach is normally followed by disappointment.

I think people should take a business approach to dating.Stop with all the emotional/"love dovey"/storybook/"spine tingling" bullshyt.

I think eventually it can grow into that once you learn to love each other.

But that's the problem.We don't care to GENUINELY learn each other.We just want people to fit onto our concept of what love is.

For some, it's a shallow concept.If you can't pour yourself into that role, they become unhappy, and it's on to the next hopeful.

 

[How Sway?]

The relationship has to be about something bigger than both of you.A common objective.Both parties have to be selfless & focused on the objective.

If not, you'll just focus on each other.Which, IMO, is a dangerous thing

It can't just be about making each other happy.That will come naturally if goals are being met.

It has to be something you're building towards.

Too many times we get into relationships expecting/depending on another person to make us happy

And that approach is normally followed by disappointment.

I think people should take a business approach to dating.Stop with all the emotional/"love dovey"/storybook/"spine tingling" bullshyt.

I think eventually it can grow into that once you learn to love each other.

But that's the problem.We don't care to GENUINELY learn each other.We just want people to fit onto our concept of what love is.

For some, it's a shallow concept.If you can't pour yourself into that role, they become unhappy, and it's on to the next hopeful.

thats deep