MILITARY STORIES

[Wiseborn]

They could put homie on shore duty for his first command.

He'd be stuck in the states for a minimum of like 2 years.

Just buy some p*ssy, fam. p*ssy in general is overrated, so making such a massive life decision like joining an authoritative oligarchy because of it is wild asf imo.

I mean, getting bytches was on my list for reasons to join, but that shyt was like #15 out of a list of 20. Join the military for guap, for power and authority, for a relatively — in comparison with the civilian sector — quick road to the middle-class, for school, for the uniforms (that was one of the reasons why I joined the navy,) for discipline and a mandatory routine, for structure, in order to stick to some sort of familial legacy, i.e., all of your predecessors were veterans, etc.

Getting bytches should be a pastime, not a high priority.

Homie has his priorites fukked up but homie needs help in this regard and mentioned it too. Again that's why I suggested that he do anything he could to get sea duty. That way he gets some bread and some head in a foreign port. a pressed incel doesn't look that different in a culture where nikkas are at sea for a couple of months and he asks Where the hoes at?

But joining any land based service an excessively dry dikked nikka would stick out like a sore thumb.

 

[BadBoy]

Matter of fact @Dave24 get ur shyt to get her and join the coast guard

 

[Wiseborn]

@Dave24 Not even trying to shyt on you but what happened to you? Look I'd say that getting money and benefits is a good thing, You can do that as a reservist where there's less chances of fukking up and getting kicked out but you technically aren't supposed to get an Article 15 non judical punishment unless you're called up for federal service. You could finish school while you're in.

What I don't understand is why at 35 you care about girls at this point? I mean damn when I was 18 I went crazy, You were at your sexual peak and you didn't do what you needed to go holla at girls. That's the issue, There's low key a lot of dry dikked nikkas out here who get p*ssy by accident or just the trickin'. That's what I never understood about incels you can be uglygang but the difference between uglygang and an incelgang is the trickin'.

If you don't focus on p*ssy you'll be alright. Well you'd graduate basic training at least what happens after that is on you. If you could go somewhere where you couldn't inhale pizzas PT'ed all the time and there were no girls you'd be fine. But at the end of the day YOU HAVE TO BE A MAN!!!!! I mean there's all kinds of books documentaries and shyt in basic training. I know nothing about the Air Force but I know they call recruits "rainbows" because they show up like every basic training in civilian clothes.

You know if you joined the National Guard they'd PT you tell you anything you needed to know about Basic Training and they wouldn't kick you out for being fat. The reason they won't kick you out for being fat is because they know people get unmotivated without having to do daily PT. Seriously consider the Air National Guard or the Army National Guard.

In my basic training we didn't really have a "honor man" The dude who was in charge the most was this dude who went to a miltary high school. The most prepared in shape guy was this dude who was a Rhode Island National Guardsman. But then again one of the stupidest guys we had was also a National Guardsman too.

I didn't know shyt and because of my last name I was nearest the Drill SGT's door and I graduated with flying colors.

 

[Dave24]

They could put homie on shore duty for his first command.

He'd be stuck in the states for a minimum of like 2 years.

Just buy some p*ssy, fam. p*ssy in general is overrated, so making such a massive life decision like joining an authoritative oligarchy because of it is wild asf imo.

I mean, getting bytches was on my list for reasons to join, but that shyt was like #15 out of a list of 20. Join the military for guap, for power and authority, for a relatively — in comparison with the civilian sector — quick road to the middle-class, for school, for the uniforms (that was one of the reasons why I joined the navy,) for discipline and a mandatory routine, for structure, in order to stick to some sort of familial legacy, i.e., all of your predecessors were veterans, etc.

Getting bytches should be a pastime, not a high priority.

@Dray5K

@All-Black the Necroverse

@Wiseborn

@BadBoy



My apologies if I gave off the impression that all I care about is getting p*ssy. That's not true, so my mistake. I brought it up a lot and kept asking about sleeping with a lot of women, so apologies on my part.




I want money, power, and authority, to have better confidence and to be a leader. I want to get in great shape and stay that way. I want the discipline and structure for my life that it can bring.




I believe I have what it takes to get in shape and to stay that way for the rest of my life. If you all don't believe me, fair enough. I will be posting in this thread a year from now regardless and giving an update, I believe I can get down to the weight I need to be by then. I have already started jogging and running around a local track near my neighborhood as well as doing push ups and sit ups. I am cutting out all the soda and junk food.



If you want to shyt on me and call me a loser and say that I won't make it or won't succeed or that I shouldn't join the air force than that's on you, but I won't listen to it. I'm trying to think positive and stay positive and am not going to listen to any negativity from anybody. I don't need you to believe in me, I need to believe in me and go forward. It doesn't help to look back and point out all my faults and failures, what does help is being disciplined and working your hardest to go after your goals day after day.

 

[Wiseborn]

@Dray5K

@All-Black the Necroverse

@Wiseborn

@BadBoy



My apologies if I gave off the impression that all I care about is getting p*ssy. That's not true, so my mistake. I brought it up a lot and kept asking about sleeping with a lot of women, so apologies on my part.




I want money, power, and authority, to have better confidence and to be a leader. I want to get in great shape and stay that way. I want the discipline and structure for my life that it can bring.




I believe I have what it takes to get in shape and to stay that way for the rest of my life. If you all don't believe me, fair enough. I will be posting in this thread a year from now regardless and giving an update, I believe I can get down to the weight I need to be by then. I have already started jogging and running around a local track near my neighborhood as well as doing push ups and sit ups. I am cutting out all the soda and junk food.



If you want to shyt on me and call me a loser and say that I won't make it or won't succeed or that I shouldn't join the air force than that's on you, but I won't listen to it. I'm trying to think positive and stay positive and am not going to listen to any negativity from anybody. I don't need you to believe in me, I need to believe in me and go forward. It doesn't help to look back and point out all my faults and failures, what does help is being disciplined and working your hardest to go after your goals day after day.

Nobody's is shytting on you, and I told you several posts back that you don't have to tell people about yourself. But you shaped people's opinions of you based on what you said. You want Money Power respect and leadership skills. That won't come by trying to be the lowest common denominator. I suggested Navy possibly the Seabees for a reason and I explained this in detail.

The money is in special pays and deployment pays. You can be a Finance paper pusher in a soft duty station Hawaii, You won't get any respect nor will you get any special pays at best you'll just do your time and get out.

Do something the slightest bit hard and you'll get special pays, deploy, go to schools and get rank and responsibilty. Again as a 35 year old with some college It's one thing to ask people on here for advice but to be swayed is ridiculous. You should already have an idea of what you want to do.

Necroverse is low key trolling you think he's saying shyt is cake in the Air Force he already let slip about how he'd already at the gate ready to go home and he'd be recalled. Even if the chillest duty assignment the difference from being a civilian and a servicemember is that you can be ordered to perform duty. In a war time situation you can pull duty for 72 hours straight in an extreme situation. You are only technically allowed 4 hours of sleep in wartime and that's only so you won't wreck equipment.

Don't go in thinking shyt is gonna be candy and rose petals and there be a war and you're told to fill sandbags. All I did was Push ups and Jogged and I made it but now with all this information out there. There's nikkas who look at pictures of Special Operators and identify their units based on small differences in gear. I was in ARSOF and I couldn't tell who was who like that.

Take advantage of all the advice but make your decision fukk what people who don't know you think. Despite what I said about the girls, They won't know you're a virgin unless you tell them, go ahead and have that beer at the Hotel party in Meps and see if she fukks you. If you don't be a creep you can eat.

Just don't count on it.

 

[42 Monks]

breh he been talking about this shyt for years he just gotta do it already

 

[Wiseborn]

breh he been talking about this shyt for years he just gotta do it already

I expected so. I mean he got a picture of Alexander the Great in his avatar yet trying to get information on how can skate in the miltary from dudes who served during wartime.

 

[Son Goku]

Necroverse is low key trolling you think he's saying shyt is cake in the Air Force he already let slip about how he'd already at the gate ready to go home and he'd be recalled. Even if the chillest duty assignment the difference from being a civilian and a servicemember is that you can be ordered to perform duty. In a war time situation you can pull duty for 72 hours straight in an extreme situation. You are only technically allowed 4 hours of sleep in wartime and that's only so you won't wreck equipment.

I'm gonna let dude cook and leave it at that. If he makes it, cool, if not, that's cool too.



Phone been ringing off the hook all week. I was at the hospital on Saturday () doing corona shyt for a lil minute. One of the other guys came in with two kids in tow, and as I was leaving I saw the section chief pulled up in the parking lot about to come in to help. Nobody called him and said, "hey, show up", he just knew there was shyt to shovel and grabbed a trowel.



As for the fitness thing, it really is what it is. I'm not 35 but I know cats at 25 that have had failure to adapt. I always tell folks that starting the gym/fitness thing requires emotional trauma, a jolt that snaps you out of your apathy. You see it every New Year's like clock work: fat, sloppy, weak, scrawny, whatever muhfukkas talmbout "new year, new me!" and they don't make it til March. But nothing changed except the number on the calendar.


Working out requires sacrifice. Getting in shape requires sacrifice. Being stronk/getting jacked requires sacrifice. If you can't summon the willpower to sacrifice for those goals, how are you gonna sacrifice to serve? Missing sleep, freedom, choice, births/birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, funerals, big moments: all of that requires sacrifice too.

 

[Son Goku]

Now, let's get back to the purpose of this thread: fukkery stories.

 

[HabitualChiller]

Now, let's get back to the purpose of this thread: fukkery stories.

Shoot.

 

[Return of the Jedi]

When I was a Lieutenant, I had one NCO on my team. Dude was a walking trash bag. Lazy as all hell, did nothing all day, wouldn't volunteer, go to school, try to become a stronger intelligence analyst, write reports or decorations...nothing. Back to back failed PT tests. If it was shytty, his name was in the mix. Dude got orders to a NorCal base and frankly, I was worried for the receiving unit, but it was going to make my life easier when he left. I felt bad thinking that as a young officer...but when my E3s are running circles around the dude what else is there to say.

His wife wasn't having these orders. She threatened to divorce him if they went out there. As much of a dirtbag he was, I didn't want to see him get a divorce. Our Maj and Squadron Commander reach out to AFPC with this ultimatum his wife presented him...and holy shyt, they rescinded his orders. Any of the other Air Force bubbas in this thread will tell you..that never happens. I was in disbelief..but happy this would hopefully save his marriage.

It didn't. His wife reveals that this whole time she's been having a long-distance affair with some dude in Florida, and she was looking for any excuse to divorce him. Their marriage had been on the rocks for a while. She took their 3 kids (one was not his biological child, it was her first kid from a previous relationship), bought 4 tickets to Florida with their combined finances, and flew out.

He was crushed. Moping at work, needing time off, all of that. He WANTED to go to NorCal, he had family there, and apparently felt it would be a position he would succeed in. We had to keep a close eye on him, be wingmen for him, and get the chaplain involved; some folks were afraid he was going to commit suicide.

Like 2 or 3 weeks later, his wife calls. Her Jody dumped her. Jody straight up tooted and booted. She wanted to get back together with him now. The other NCOs and one of our prior-enlisted Lieutenants tried to convince him not to do it; she had disrespected him and threw his life into a tailspin. He didn't care. He took a week of leave, drove Florida, and drove the whole family back up our duty station. I couldn't believe it.

I've PCS'd since then, but apparently, dude's a still a dirtbag, and totally good with it.

 

[Son Goku]

When I was a Lieutenant, I had one NCO on my team. Dude was a walking trash bag. Lazy as all hell, did nothing all day, wouldn't volunteer, go to school, try to become a stronger intelligence analyst, write reports or decorations...nothing. Back to back failed PT tests. If it was shytty, his name was in the mix. Dude got orders to a NorCal base and frankly, I was worried for the unit, but it was going to make my life easier when he left. I felt bad thinking that as a young officer...but when my E3s are running circles around the dude what else is there to say.

His wife wasn't having these orders. She threatened to divorce him if they went out there. As much of a dirtbag he was, I didn't want to see him get a divorce. Our Maj and Squadron Commander reach out to AFPC with this ultimatum his wife presented him...and holy shyt, they rescinded his orders. Any of the other Air Force bubbas in this thread will tell you..that never happens. I was in disbelief..but happy this would hopefully save his marriage.

It didn't. His wife reveals that this whole time she's been having a long-distance affair with some dude in Florida, and she was looking for any excuse to divorce him. Their marriage had been on the rocks for a while. She took their 3 kids (one was not his biological child, it was her first kid from a previous relationship), bought 4 tickets to Florida with their combined finances, and flew out.

He was crushed. Moping at work, needing time off, all of that. He WANTED to go to NorCal, he had family there, and apparently felt it would be a position he would succeed in. We had to keep a close eye on him, be wingmen for him, and get the chaplain involved; some folks were afraid he was going to commit suicide.

Like 2 or 3 weeks later, his wife calls. Her Jody dumped her. Jody straight up tooted and booted. She wanted to get back together with him now. The other NCOs and one of our prior-enlisted Lieutenants tried to convince him not to do it; she had disrespected him and threw his life into a tailspin. He didn't care. He took a week of leave, drove Florida, and drove the whole family back up our duty station. I couldn't believe it.

I've PCS'd since then, but apparently, dude's a still a dirtbag, and totally good with it.

 

[42 Monks]

When I was a Lieutenant, I had one NCO on my team. Dude was a walking trash bag. Lazy as all hell, did nothing all day, wouldn't volunteer, go to school, try to become a stronger intelligence analyst, write reports or decorations...nothing. Back to back failed PT tests. If it was shytty, his name was in the mix. Dude got orders to a NorCal base and frankly, I was worried for the unit, but it was going to make my life easier when he left. I felt bad thinking that as a young officer...but when my E3s are running circles around the dude what else is there to say.

His wife wasn't having these orders. She threatened to divorce him if they went out there. As much of a dirtbag he was, I didn't want to see him get a divorce. Our Maj and Squadron Commander reach out to AFPC with this ultimatum his wife presented him...and holy shyt, they rescinded his orders. Any of the other Air Force bubbas in this thread will tell you..that never happens. I was in disbelief..but happy this would hopefully save his marriage.

It didn't. His wife reveals that this whole time she's been having a long-distance affair with some dude in Florida, and she was looking for any excuse to divorce him. Their marriage had been on the rocks for a while. She took their 3 kids (one was not his biological child, it was her first kid from a previous relationship), bought 4 tickets to Florida with their combined finances, and flew out.

He was crushed. Moping at work, needing time off, all of that. He WANTED to go to NorCal, he had family there, and apparently felt it would be a position he would succeed in. We had to keep a close eye on him, be wingmen for him, and get the chaplain involved; some folks were afraid he was going to commit suicide.

Like 2 or 3 weeks later, his wife calls. Her Jody dumped her. Jody straight up tooted and booted. She wanted to get back together with him now. The other NCOs and one of our prior-enlisted Lieutenants tried to convince him not to do it; she had disrespected him and threw his life into a tailspin. He didn't care. He took a week of leave, drove Florida, and drove the whole family back up our duty station. I couldn't believe it.

I've PCS'd since then, but apparently, dude's a still a dirtbag, and totally good with it.

GMB. The Saga Continues

Mentioned it before, but we had a kid try and give his wife of 3 months power of attorney while he was in Iraq over skype he came back after that deployment to absolutely nothing. On everything, that dude will never love another living thing again...

 

[semicko82]

I had a few people tell me:
It’s not how much you volunteer, go to school, or have a good EPR; all that matters is how much ass you kiss as it pertains to ranking up.
How true is that?

 

[Son Goku]

I had a few people tell me:
It’s not how much you volunteer, go to school, or have a good EPR; all that matters is how much ass you kiss as it pertains to ranking up.
How true is that?

Not very IME. All that matters is that you can do your job (well) and stay out of trouble.

The kissing ass thing might help for opportunities or assignments, but it's a lot of ass-kissers that can't WAPS worth a damn.