More Black Men Are Seeking Help to Manage Their Grief

[BlackDiBiase]

The kind of help that produces action items. Therapy isn't just paying someone to listen to your problems. They have a toolbox of proven techniques to help you through the grieving process in healthy ways.

My position on the value of a "caring ear" is more radical these days, if the only value in talking to someone about your problems is knowing that the person listening cares, then you're only kicking the can down the road. Dealing with grief requires work, talking and listening are a valuable part of the process but the most value is in having the person you're talking with recognize what you're dealing with and help you find a path towards healing. Unfortunately most people in our lives aren't equipped to do this no matter how good their intentions are or how much they care.

thats dope.

but i still dont understand how the therapist has an outcome other than just counseling being a shoulder and every now and again come up with little advice.

if it was more like for example : i talk to a therapist then their like you know the solution is XYZ then i could definitely be a 100% with it but to me these are just some sigmund freud diagnoses with no real solutions unless they are an endearing caring therapist who go an extra mile which is what i think brothers need. an authentic helper not just advertised as such.

but i am definitely taking heed here.

 

[horizon]

Because nikkas are only problack when convenient on here
Most nikkas scoff and laugh at posts about black men’s pain
They will say “man up”, “that’s not manly”, “this generation soft”, “ I wasn’t abused as a child when my parents whooped me”, “Man where these teachers at and why the little nikka snitch on her” and other bullshyt to make themselves look ALPHA
It’s the same shyt in the real world
Especially if you are a black man with an opinion that doesn’t fit the contrived narrative or your experience doesn’t line up with “out the mud”
It’s hypocrisy but be ready to run they goofy asses into a thread with an RIP when there were clear signs of a nikka self destructing before our eyes
Or literally shame people for self deletion without nuance or empathy
But they real ones
Came to the conclusion along time ago about this site
nikkas playing Dungeons and Dragons on here like Stranger Things
It’s a small amount that say real shyt while the others are posturing and trying to stay cliqued up so they won’t lose access to the discord site
Once you see this place for what it is and pay attention to the ones that don’t change names, stand on their shyt
The better the experience
Unfortunately this bleeds into the real world and becomes harder to pinpoint
Black men feelings and opinions mean nothing out here and will always be heavily scrutinized
It’s imperative as an individual to get help for your trauma
It’s detrimental to not only you but your true loved ones
SYSBM

If your only contribution to threads like these is to get on your soapbox and wag your finger like you're scolding kids you are a pure bytch

 

[FluffyEyes]

I like to see that there are ppl making it a point to highlight Black men, mental health and therapy. It's really important. It's extremely hard to find good therapists who have the cultural intelligence necessary to counsel BM properly but it's definitely something I recommend Black men do when they're struggling.

 

[FluffyEyes]

The kind of help that produces action items. Therapy isn't just paying someone to listen to your problems. They have a toolbox of proven techniques to help you through the grieving process in healthy ways.

My position on the value of a "caring ear" is more radical these days, if the only value in talking to someone about your problems is knowing that the person listening cares, then you're only kicking the can down the road. Dealing with grief requires work, talking and listening are a valuable part of the process but the most value is in having the person you're talking with recognize what you're dealing with and help you find a path towards healing. Unfortunately most people in our lives aren't equipped to do this no matter how good their intentions are or how much they care.

I would also add that professional help is vital if someone is dealing with a chronic mental illness like Bipolar Disorder,. schizophrenia or even anxiety and clinical depression. Shooting the shyt at the bar isn't gonna cut it in those instances.

 

[ViShawn]

It would be great to make mastermind groups for Black Men. I'm trying to get some of my friends together so we can talk, vent, collaborate, and help each other.

 

[BlackDiBiase]

I would also add that professional help is vital if someone is dealing with a chronic mental illness like Bipolar Disorder,. schizophrenia or even anxiety and clinical depression. Shooting the shyt at the bar isn't gonna cut it in those instances.

this is about "managing grief" though not mental illness its not a fine line. its a bit of distance away before claiming schizophrenia from suffering from grief.

in terms of grief dont be so quick to sit opposite a therapist when there could be other viable means to get back on track, we're not talking sickness.

 

[FluffyEyes]

this is about "managing grief" though not mental illness its not a fine line. its a bit of distance away before claiming schizophrenia from suffering from grief.

in terms of grief dont be so quick to sit opposite a therapist when there could be other viable means to get back on track, we're not talking sickness.

I know it's about managing grief, but I also know that ppl are reluctant about mental health intervention regardless. I never posited that these things are the same but the STIGMA is. Substituting friends and family for professional help isn't a solution although a supportive community can help.

 

[Piff Perkins]

Avoid any public health initiative specifically targeting black men.

Build a trusted group of 2-3 people you can share with completely without judgement and when you feel the need to get shyt off your chest, hit them.

Also, start journaling (very important) and don’t give up on prayer/meditation.

Everything you need is already in you.

Trust it.

Have faith in it.

And don’t be too hard on yourself.

There ain’t a man alive that walks around feeling like he does everything perfectly.

We’re all extremely flawed and that’s beautiful.

There’s no reason to avoid them. Many are sponsored by local churches or universities. Telling black men to avoid resources aimed at them isn’t cool, especially in an era where we complain about…the lack of resources aimed at black men. Everyone else is using their resources, we need to use ours as well.

 

[The Devil's Advocate]

Avoid any public health initiative specifically targeting black men.

Build a trusted group of 2-3 people you can share with completely without judgement and when you feel the need to get shyt off your chest, hit them.

Also, start journaling (very important) and don’t give up on prayer/meditation.

Everything you need is already in you.

Trust it.

Have faith in it.

And don’t be too hard on yourself.

There ain’t a man alive that walks around feeling like he does everything perfectly.

We’re all extremely flawed and that’s beautiful.

This is extremely bad advice for someone suffering from mental health problems.

Please go see a PROFESSIONAL. There are black professionals. You can look up their records and credentials. You can look up reviews.

Get real help. Your 2-3 boys is not gonna cut it.

 

[Knuckles Red]

I’m not currently in therapy, but I have visited a therapist multiple times throughout my life. I’d say it’s helped me. I still struggle with the idea of paying someone to talk to because part of me feels as though it is very pathetic to have to do something like that. Two of my therapists have been black women. The other one was a white woman. I’d love to see a black male therapist though. The biggest obstacle for me is the concept of forgiveness. You mean to tell me this particular individual gets to torment me for most of my life and that, in the end, all he’ll have to endure is my forgiveness? Hardly seems fair. That’s life, I guess. I’ll probably be back in therapy soon.

 

[Still Benefited]

Because nikkas are only problack when convenient on here
Most nikkas scoff and laugh at posts about black men’s pain
They will say “man up”, “that’s not manly”, “this generation soft”, “ I wasn’t abused as a child when my parents whooped me”, “Man where these teachers at and why the little nikka snitch on her” and other bullshyt to make themselves look ALPHA
It’s the same shyt in the real world
Especially if you are a black man with an opinion that doesn’t fit the contrived narrative or your experience doesn’t line up with “out the mud”
It’s hypocrisy but be ready to run they goofy asses into a thread with an RIP when there were clear signs of a nikka self destructing before our eyes
Or literally shame people for self deletion without nuance or empathy
But they real ones
Came to the conclusion along time ago about this site
nikkas playing Dungeons and Dragons on here like Stranger Things
It’s a small amount that say real shyt while the others are posturing and trying to stay cliqued up so they won’t lose access to the discord site
Once you see this place for what it is and pay attention to the ones that don’t change names, stand on their shyt
The better the experience
Unfortunately this bleeds into the real world and becomes harder to pinpoint
Black men feelings and opinions mean nothing out here and will always be heavily scrutinized
It’s imperative as an individual to get help for your trauma
It’s detrimental to not only you but your true loved ones
SYSBM

Some of us can just see the agenda to create perpetual victimhood within black men. This is the emasculation of the black man personified. But unfortunately most of yall cant see past the sissies

 

[Jcotton1]

thats admirable bro on her behalf.

a lot of our elders refuse to be internet savvy and might not know the details or coherent enough to get the support.

maybe could do with their younger family members or more pamphlets because it is important. i like you mentioned the distrust for the white mental health experts and there is every reason to feel that too.

i do believe participating in a good healthy community will increase your wellbeing that alone will tackle forms of grief before severe depression and what not. being social with a trace of pride prevents you from overly eroding thats my personal opinion though. if we see a purpose its very natural and uplifting to move towards it. so goals and plans and a community where you are received will do wonders on all our health.

Breh my folks home church. I know the atheist/hotep crowd might be triggered but so be it. My folk home church gives out food every damn day and does a camp about 45 mins west where they owned the land they have the camp on it's Black owned/ and operated.

I've even stayed back and drove the kids up to the camp but I made a stop at a big ten university where I know some of my older brothers friends whom teach and will have tenure. The other day I introduced them to a friend who is a HBCU alumni and Big ten alumni.

He's a Prosthodontist by trade. He dressed down and wore some Kyries and had his on the same timepiece and bling on several pro guys wear not named Rolex for the kids His department knew we were coming and they had a spread for us. The kids and adults who came were impressed.

We always invite the parents. We all got into a light Convo about talking about our feelings, days and a possible reaction for when times aren't going so good. We held a back to school grill out last yr we do it every yr. Some parents through trash on the ground when it a trash bind and a recycle bind 2 ft from them.

Some parents make bad choices like throwing trash on the ground and other choices, smoking weed in front of their kids , cussing them out like grown ups in public. Excuses and the slavery / racism trama excuse from some who were born circa 1980s at the latest can't be used every freaking time.

 

[tuckgod]

There’s no reason to avoid them. Many are sponsored by local churches or universities. Telling black men to avoid resources aimed at them isn’t cool, especially in an era where we complain about…the lack of resources aimed at black men. Everyone else is using their resources, we need to use ours as well.

Nonsense.

 

[Goat poster]

Therapy is one of the best things a black man can do for themselves

We carry so much trauma since birth

Has to be somone who understands us culturally tho

 

[BlackDiBiase]

Breh my folks home church. I know the atheist/hotep crowd might be triggered but so be it. My folk home church gives out food every damn day and does a camp about 45 mins north where they owned the land they have the camp on it's Black owned/ and operated.

I've even stayed back and drove the kids up to the camp but I made a stop at a big ten university where I know some of my older brothers friends whom teach and will have tenure. The other day I introduced them to a friend who is a HBCU alumni and Big ten alumni.

He's a Prosthodontist by trade. He dressed down and wore some Kyries and had his on the same timepiece and bling on several pro guys wear not named Rolex for the kids His department knew we were coming and they had a spread for us. The kids and adults who came were impressed.

We always invite the parents. We all got into a light Convo about talking about our feelings, days and a possible reaction for when times aren't going so good. We held a back to school grill out last yr we do it every yr. Some parents through trash on the ground when it a trash bind and a recycle bind 2 ft from them.

Some parents make bad choices like throwing trash on the ground and other choices, smoking weed in front of their kids , cussing them out like grown ups in public. Excuses and the slavery / racism trama excuse from some who were born circa 1980s at the latest can't be used every freaking time.

this is nice, more brothers need a monthly or every 4 months. group bonding/counseling/therapy type environments where we can look forward to healing.

somewhere away from our regular metropolis.