My grandmother passed and I'm having trouble mourning.

[Jplaya2023]

My prayers for your family. Much love

 

[AllHolosEve]

Kinda similar to my moms and I....My grandma didn't want a funeral or a wake so I won't get the same opportunity others have had. She also wanted be cremated. We're having more of a celebratory memorial for her.

-Condolences breh. I lost my Grandfather earlier this year & he was the one I looked to for guidance, wisdom, etc. At first I blamed it on the fact I was in the hospital myself when it happened but it's been months & like you I haven't felt much of anything or shed any real tears about it. He was also cremated so like you there's no grave or anything to go to. If you actually do register it at this point you might need to see, hear or feel something to trigger the reaction.

-I think with me the fact I didn't grieve immediately & my beliefs make me generally numb to Death means I missed my moment. I accept the inevitability of the situation. I can feel other people's pain when they show loss but I realistically think It'll take the loss of someone younger than me like a child/niece/nephew/etc. to feel anything myself.

 

[Loken]

YOU JUST HAVEN'T HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO SOAK IT IN. SOMETIMES IT COMES AFTER THE FUNERAL WHEN EVERYBODY IS GONE AND YOU HAVE AN URGE TO SPEAK TO THAT PERSON. REALITY SETS IN AND YOU'LL GRIEVE.

IT DOESN'T HAPPEN THE SAME WAY EVERY TIME. GOOD LUCK TO YOU.

this

i lost my sister to cancer wasn't as fast as your grandmother took a year from when we found out till she passed i had my break downs in that year but after she passed i thought i had made my peace with it

in that year but like the quote above not to long after the funeral i just broke one day an i didn't wanna be here anymore an i could feel it i wasn't suicidal i just didn't want to be here

some times you so caught up in trying to be strong for your people taking care of your loved ones things after they pass

you just don't notice or don't give it much thought that your not really grieving

 

[ShackZilla89]

It's normal, but you'll feel it eventually... condolences man....

 

[AllHolosEve]

Not to sound like a robot or anything. 100 year from now, 7 billion of us will no longer be walking this world. Then imagine the countless trillions lost over the span of mankind.... All of this is natural.... Anyhow, long as you and her love ones remember her, she ain't really gone.

-This isn't to argue since I completely agree with the inevitable, it being natural & them not being gone. I'm just curious why people feel the need to mention this up when it's typically (not always) straight forward: This is someone I care about on a personal level, not a billion people I don't give a fukk about & it's real time, not 100 years later.
-Has bringing this shyt up ever actually worked for you in real life?

 

[Atlanta 80s baby]

-This isn't to argue since I completely agree with the inevitable, it being natural & them not being gone. I'm just curious why people feel the need to mention this up when it's typically (not always) straight forward: This is someone I care about on a personal level, not a billion people I don't give a fukk about & it's real time, not 100 years later.
-Has bringing this shyt up ever actually worked for you in real life?

I mean the hurt ain't exclusive to you my boy. Billions feel the same pain I'm just stating facts of the overall lost of life.

 

[Pazzy]

We grieve differently breh. Sorry for your loss, man. I would say youre in shock and you most def need your space and time.

 

[MajesticLion]

- fukk cancer
- Peace and blessings

 

[Numpsay]

I went through this with one of my aunts. Months later it hit me like a ton of bricks while I was driving on the highway. Had to pull over.

 

[NinoBrown]

Condolences to you and your family, you cope by making your grands proud as if they were still here physically...Her blood still flows through you and what she taught you in life.

It is will be very tough regardless as you will always miss her...

 

[sayyestothis]

Rip breh..

Best way is to just let it go and let go...ull have random times in life where ull just break down...allow urself to....allow urself to cry.

It feels better afterwards.

 

[AllHolosEve]

I mean the hurt ain't exclusive to you my boy. Billions feel the same pain I'm just stating facts of the overall lost of life.

-Like I said, I agree with the overall statement. I'm saying when a person's grieving why would they give a fukk? I'm actually asking you have you said this to someone in real life & it worked?

-You can literally bring this shyt up in any scenario. Oh, you get shot/stabbed/robbed breh, millions of people got shot/stabbed/robbed before. Lost a job/house/spouse breh, millions lost a job/house/spouse before. I just don't see the point.

 

[fact]

I watched my great grandma deteriorate over 15 years from alzheimers.
I know for a fact me, my bro and ma did most of our grieving while she was living which sounds like what youve been doing.
With older people, in general, the idea of losing them is way more real than with children, so you're more prepared.

You'll be fine

15 years of that shyt is fukking torture for everybody involved! That’s the longest I have ever heard of somebody living like that. Sorry for you and yours!

 

[feelosofer]

Everyone grieves and mourns differently.

 

[987654321]

Sometimes, as adults, we just find peace or relief in the fact that they’re at peace. Especially when their last days are are a little traumatic or they’re not themselves. I think it’s a small part of the greater uncanny valley thing; at least referring to the stages of dying, not robots