My verdict on Marriage vs Single Life (based on experience)

[Ohene]

The main problem in this thread is that ALL PARTIES are incapable of looking past their own situations/experiences before forming an opinion/conclusion about marriage.

Note how most the naysayers have been married & divorced.

Note how the OP (and most likely the average supporter) is in his first (and hopefully only) marriage.

That is all.

a lot havent married and are thinking primarily from a logical standpoint though

marriage just isnt necessary

 

[CrimsonTider]

The coli at its finest.

Two people on opposite ends of the spectrum trying to convince the other side they're right.

Funny thing is, I dont think anybody on this forum is dodging marriage if they make it to 40. Societal pressure is too high.

less to do with societal pressure and more to do with reality

 

[Mr Hate Coffee]

less to do with societal pressure and more to do with reality

That too.

 

[winb83]

The coli at its finest.

Two people on opposite ends of the spectrum trying to convince the other side they're right.

Funny thing is, I dont think anybody on this forum is dodging marriage if they make it to 40. Societal pressure is too high.

do you control your own life or does pressure from outside dictate what you do? i'm never getting married. i can honestly say from the age i was knee high to now i've never found the concept of marriage to be desirable.

i've dated chicks for years that never even met my parents. the chicks pressured me and so did my parents and i refused. I've kept every woman i ever dated (except one) compartmentalized, never introducing them to anybody in my family, any friends, any associates. i mean never as in never even seeing a picture while they introduced me to everyone in their life.

on that stranded island when i decide to terminate the relationship it comes to an end in the style of a tree falling in a rain forest with no one around to hear it.

 

[Mr Hate Coffee]

do you control your own life or does pressure from outside dictate what you do? i'm never getting married. i can honestly say from the age i was knee high to now i've never found the concept of marriage to be desirable.

i've dated chicks for years that never even met my parents. the chicks pressured me and so did my parents and i refused. I've kept every woman i ever dated (except one) compartmentalized, never introducing them to anybody in my family, any friends, any associates. i mean never as in never even seeing a picture while they introduced me to everyone in their life.

on that stranded island when i decide to terminate the relationship it comes to an end in the style of a tree falling in a rain forest with no one around to hear it.

How old are you breh?


At any rate, some people will never get married. If you're that firm on it cool. Although that's negative thinking, but whatever... do you. Its you're life, I applaud doing whatever makes you happy.

Fact is most people on here will be married at least once by the time they're 40. I'm not buying cats on here talkin that no marriage shyt when they're 22 years old. lol. I see nikkas on here. A lot of nikkas talk a good game in one thread but in another they're simpin.

I've seen it with my own eyes. I'm 29, when I was 25 I wasn't thinking about marriage and neither was anyone in my circle. Now that most of us are where we want to be career wise it becomes the logical next step. So now I have two (possibly three) good friends who will be married in the next 6 months.

I dont care who you are, you will always have pressure to conform to your surroundings.

 

[winb83]

This sums up to me perfectly what's wrong with marriage:

on of my co-workers yesterday told me he got an iPod as a gift from his wife for Christmas. his wife is a stay-at-home with no job or income. basically he bought that iPod for himself and in his own mind he thinks its a gift from his wife. she won't even let him open it till Christmas.

Marriage is to the benefit of the woman and the detriment of the man. if only everyone in my life i could have them buy themselves gifts and say it was from me.

 

[Illuminatos]

This sums up to me perfectly what's wrong with marriage:

on of my co-workers yesterday told me he got an iPod as a gift from his wife for Christmas. his wife is a stay-at-home with no job or income. basically he bought that iPod for himself and in his own mind he thinks its a gift from his wife. she won't even let him open it till Christmas.

Marriage is to the benefit of the woman and the detriment of the man. if only everyone in my life i could have them buy themselves gifts and say it was from me.

 

[Jahmal]

I dont care who you are, you will always have pressure to conform to your surroundings.

some of us have enough sense not to jump off the cliff just because others around us are doing it.

 

[Super TD Jakes]

How old are you breh?


At any rate, some people will never get married. If you're that firm on it cool. Although that's negative thinking, but whatever... do you. Its you're life, I applaud doing whatever makes you happy.

Fact is most people on here will be married at least once by the time they're 40. I'm not buying cats on here talkin that no marriage shyt when they're 22 years old. lol. I see nikkas on here. A lot of nikkas talk a good game in one thread but in another they're simpin.

I've seen it with my own eyes. I'm 29, when I was 25 I wasn't thinking about marriage and neither was anyone in my circle. Now that most of us are where we want to be career wise it becomes the logical next step. So now I have two (possibly three) good friends who will be married in the next 6 months.

I dont care who you are, you will always have pressure to conform to your surroundings.

you don't have to conform to the pressure....turn off the tv, change your friends....simple!

 

[Amare's Right Hook]

i'm not. the idea of romantic marriage is silly. marriage for money and or power is smart if emotions are removed from it. arranged marriages between people to combine family assets. marriages were infidelity is irrelevant because love and or monogamy are not a condition of the marriage or even a factor.

we're married because my money plus your money = more money

vs

we're married because right now in the moment i feel a certain way about you and you feel a certain way about me.

when i was a kid i loved Power Rangers. at some point i outgrew them and now i could give a fukk less about them. emotions and people themselves change. gambling off emotional states is stupid.

power rangers = p*ssy

Solid logic

 

[winb83]

imagine the day a grown man has to ask a woman for permission to go places, permission to buy things with his own money he's earned.

if you wanna get up and go to a titty bar with your homies you should be able to just go do it. not a married man he had to figure out how to get permission from "the boss." how the fukk you roll in the house with a big screen TV you bought with money you earned and gotta catch shyt about it?
that is a borderline regression back to childhood.

marriage is all about trading your freedom for supposed convenient access to p*ssy. i say supposed because "the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down"

marriage is pretty much designed by society to mostly benefit women. if women didn't suggest it and pressure for it it probably wouldn't happen as much as it does. Sex Differences: Why Won't Men Commit? - YouTube

 

[Shadow King]

The marriage topic always tears me. Always wanted the wife and big family and all that since I was younger, but my generation of girls just too fukked up. Too much baggage/psych issues/soiled pasts. Plus money is always an issue. Logically I rather be good by myself forever than great with someone for 5-6 years and have the shyt my life is based on slip away from me over money or lack of money or just falling out of love.

Nonetheless, I sincerely do hope that the TS and his marriage lasts forever though. It is refreshing to see a happy marriage and even more a lasting one.

 

[Super TD Jakes]

if you win the lottery you can be rich the problem is there's no way to guarantee or even make it more probable you'll win the lottery. all you can really do is play and hope. same with your good girl good marriage theory.

while if you win the lottery you'll be rich the gamble of marriage is far worse than that of the lottery. once you win the lotto you've won it forever and you're in control of your winnings. you can win at marriage years 1-3 and in the 4th year have it blow up in your face and fail and significantly lower your quality of life to be worse than that of what it was when you were single.

you really have no control over how your marriage plays out. there are things you can do to try and make it work but its success or failure hing on the person you married and their whims. you can do everything right and have it fail due to them.

in single life you are always in control of the way things go. in married life you give up control to random luck and another person's whims and when it all comes down to it the risk is not worth the reward if for nothing else the fact that at any moment the reward can be snatched away from you.

its like playing the lotto and if you win you get the check but at any given moment the state can step in and take whatever winnings you have away from you and there's nothing you can do to stop it. on top of that they can take actually more than you won, a portion of your current income monthly for example.

the problem with marriage is its a business decision that people have tried to make into an emotional one. if you remove romance from marriage and approach it from a business standpoint it works but emotions ruin marriage by turning it into a shytty gamble.

game is to be sold not told...they don't hear you though, you're way ahead of your time

 

[Red Omega]

so your basically saying your not responsible enough to manage your time and freedom, and you need a women/babysitter to do it for you.

That being single your weak and fall to the world vices and spend money foolishly. So you get consistent sex from one person so does anyone in a committed relationship, difference is if your mariage ends or if a 7 year itch or a sexless marriage your stuck.

THere is a difference between being alone and loneliness, secondly no one has to be alone if they don';t want to, some of the most lonely people are out there married.

And you have a son, of course hes great everyone says that, at one moment you said you have more money and yet the next you hvae a 2.5 year old kid, raising kids are expensive its laughable and downright insulting for you to insist you have more money know married with a kid and a mortgage than you would if you were single with no kids and rent insulting.


a prenup doesn't protect you from divorce, the women you love is gone, the children you love adn that are yours are now being raised by another man who sees them more than you, you've only been married for four years the avg first marriage lasts for 7 years, when she feels like not having sex with yu what are you going to do? when she doesn't love you anymore or needs space what you going to do?

 

[bouncy]

This sums up to me perfectly what's wrong with marriage:

on of my co-workers yesterday told me he got an iPod as a gift from his wife for Christmas. his wife is a stay-at-home with no job or income. basically he bought that iPod for himself and in his own mind he thinks its a gift from his wife. she won't even let him open it till Christmas.

Marriage is to the benefit of the woman and the detriment of the man. if only everyone in my life i could have them buy themselves gifts and say it was from me.

I see where you're coming from, but that is his fault not marriage itself. Marriage is just a business contract in the physical world, and a union in the spiritual world. How you get to the marriage, and deal with it is up to you. Just because his wife is like that doesn't mean your wife will be like that.

If a couple sets standards for themselves based on how they live, chances are it will work out. If they are swingers, puff herb, play video games, have a certain structure with dealing with finances, they will last a lot longer then a couple who got married because they were getting older, got pregnant and it was "the right thing to do", because the latter couple had nothing in common besides doing what others thought they should do, while the former couple actually had fun with each other as well as having fun in their own lives, in ways that society says is not good for them, and is something "kids" do, not mature adults.

It's all about what your marriage contains that decides the marriage, not marriage itself. Unfortunately, a lot of men think because the sex is fun that they are in a loving union when the chick is using the sex as bait to get that marriage contract so she can have a backup if the relationship doesn't work, and get some type of income down the road.