New short horror story I wrote

[Amerikan Melanin]

Nah. Police ain’t no heroes and this story white washes history. By making it a sundown town because of monsters not white supremacy you smack all FBA ancestors in the face.

our people had to leave sundown towns cause white mobs would lynch them.

this excuses all that and police murders.

make the police the baphomet. Have him get pulled over and a black vigilante save him. At night all the CACs turn into blood thirsty monsters that crave melanin.

 

[Neuromancer]

Dope bro. I set a goal to write 10 short stories last year.

I think I got up to 7 ( if I count multiple parts). I might post one of mine later.

Not sure, if they are still doing it, but Monkey Paw Productions (Jordan Peele) was allowing writers to submit their work to them with the chances of them working with you. You should check them out.

I submitted 2 stories, but didnt get any feedback from them. Was worth a shot tho.

You should I love reading other writers. Helps me understand what I could be doing.

 

[Neuromancer]

Nah. Police ain’t no heroes and this story white washes history. By making it a sundown town because of monsters not white supremacy you smack all FBA ancestors in the face.

our people had to leave sundown towns cause white mobs would lynch them.

this excuses all that and police murders.

make the police the baphomet. Have him get pulled over and a black vigilante save him. At night all the CACs turn into blood thirsty monsters that crave melanin.

Sounds like you have a story to write.

 

[Neuromancer]

Hope you’re not this sensitive when you enter the literary world and they rip your work to shreds

I actually thought it was pretty decent just lacking a scary twist.

Been publishing since 2012. I never get good advice from non-writers cause they don't know what they're talking about. So I wanted to know if you were an actual author or a 'you oughta write this' ass nikkas.

 

[Koba St]

Been publishing since 2012. I never get good advice from non-writers cause they don't know what they're talking about. So I wanted to know if you were an actual author or a 'you oughta write this' ass nikkas.

You should take advice from everyone not just writers. I may not be a writer but I read a lot and people who read and know good stories might give you good advice.

 

[Neuromancer]

You should take advice from everyone not just writers. I may not be a writer but I read a lot and people who read and know good stories might give you good advice.

Twlight sold well because it was a female fantasy, but was poorly written and trite. Those are people that read and considered that a good story. If I don't trust them. Don't know why I should trust you?

 

[Koba St]

Twlight sold well because it was a female fantasy, but was poorly written and trite. Those are people that read and considered that a good story. If I don't trust them. Don't know why I should trust you?

Lol ok. Good luck with your writing

 

[Chez Lopez]

lol at sundown town. i dont know what it is, and yet i do

 

[ℒℴѵℯJay ELECTUA]

The twist was they were stopping him to save his life and not because He's black in a sundown town.

 

[Neuromancer]

Was just trying to make a horror story with a different feel. I fukked up posting it in TLR.

 

[ℒℴѵℯJay ELECTUA]

Was just trying to make a horror story with a different feel. I fukked up posting it in TLR.

this was nice, i enjoyed it.

 

[Poetical Poltergeist]

Was just trying to make a horror story with a different feel. I fukked up posting it in TLR.

Main problem with this story is that it's a rendition of the killer in the backseat trope. You did try to make it original with the Goat Monster and a feeling of social messaging. I think making the story more detailed and thought out without making it a long bloated story is key.

 

[Neuromancer]

Main problem with this story is that it's a rendition of the killer in the backseat trope. You did try to make it original with the Goat Monster and a feeling of social messaging. I think making the story more detailed and thought out without making it a long bloated story is key.

Yeah I used that old story as a base.

 

[Neuromancer]

this was nice, i enjoyed it.

Thanks.

 

[Blankthawtz]

Story sounds plagiarism-ly familiar...