Ok, i'll admit it. I'm mentally exhausted.

Discussion in 'The Locker Room' started by Afro, Jul 8, 2016.

  1. Afro

    Afro Student of life Supporter

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    A Black Man Was Just Found Hanging from a Tree in Atlanta



    I'm not sure how to feel right now.

    Two innocent black men killed for no reason in a god damn day. One being held down and shot like an animal.

    The other never even got his seat belt off. Both had their families watch them die on the spot.

    Next day a peaceful protest erupts in violence, the details are all over the place and one of the suspects gets killed by a bomb.

    I feel fundamentally broken right now. The past few days (before all of this) I've been procrastinating doing something productive (learning web development) and now I feel like whats the point?

    Sure I could die of anything, but when a cop car rolls by a wave of dread overcomes me. Could this be it? Will be another name added to the wall? I could have all the money in the world, I'm just a nikka.

    I'm rarely on Facebook but I was curious to see if anyone said anything meaningful, hop on it to see an idiot pop off about "We should stop killing each other first. Blacks killing ourselves is just as bad as what the cops do." (Hes dating a white chick and is pretty lightskinned) I'm like wtf? The Coli is pretty spot on sometimes, but I digress.

    Sometimes I really try to ignore all the racial shyt and stick my head back in the clouds. It doesn't work but it's how I grew up. Going into my own head to escape reality. It's like my mind refuses to see the systematic killing of us, but my soul still reacts. Feels like a mental schism going off and I feel torn as in what to do.

    I can't just go on like nothing is happening, but all this chaos is making me confused and frustrated. Like what do I do? What can I do? I have no idea what I want anymore. Black friends laugh at race jokes and white friends get real quiet when you bring up race anything.

    This is all too fukking much man, shyt is starting that very few people are ready for.

    Didn't mean to write a goddamn rant but fukk it, this shyt has got me pretty low:francis:
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2016
  2. Unknown Poster

    Unknown Poster Superstar Supporter

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    I read that....shyt was real real breh.

    :wow:
    dont let these haters kill your dreams thats all I will say.
     
  3. Klyk21

    Klyk21 Hate is Rising, Love is Dying....

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    :therethere: Its ok man. shyt been going on for generations. Only thing is now social media is the global word of mouth. Build your family, don't give up shyt. Aggression is just the result of oppression....without oppression, there would be little to no aggression :manny: More lives will be spilled, more laws will be enforced....you just have to roll with the punches. Its a chess game out here. Nothing is ever truly black and white...
     
  4. Guess Who

    Guess Who Superstar

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    Keep your head up brother.
     
  5. Easy-E

    Easy-E Ya'll tripping! Supporter

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    Advice. Media blackout for the weekend. Get some fresh air. We got a long way to go.
     
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  6. plushcarpet

    plushcarpet Superstar

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    "always look for the people that are helping" - Mr. Rogers

    there are a lot more good people in the world, they just don't get the attention that bad people get
     
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  7. Rekkapryde

    Rekkapryde GT, LWO, 49ERS, BRAVES, HAWKS, N4O...yeah UMAD! Hall of Fame Supporter

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    It's comical that the KKK isn't labeled as a terrorist organization in this country yet.
     
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  8. Wiles

    Wiles Superstar

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    :snoop:
     
  9. Afro

    Afro Student of life Supporter

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    Thanks brehs, I understand that this has been going on since we came were dragged here. But watching this shyt play out in real time, had no idea I would be alive to see it. I had my big scare with cops once. I never want to be in that position ever again.

    Sometimes you just need to vent :mjcry:

    I fluctuate between anger,depression and frustration right now. I don't want the system to win, but it feels like they are twenty moves ahead. I'm fighting against the negative programming every day, but I think it's did permanent damage.

    I gotta Google how to think like an entrepreneur and other stuff I wish was instilled from birth. But nah, I was taught to be the best worker bee I could be :shaq2:

    :whoa:

    Gotta keep hope alive.

    Yea I may have to take that advice. I have my grandmother's funeral to go to tomorrow anyway.
     
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  10. MWinn

    MWinn Pro

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    :francis: Clearly those who run this country support this particular terrorist group. Their blood probably runs deep in it. Ever noticed how scared white people are to speak against white supremacy? A look of terror overcomes their faces.
     
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  11. Will Ross

    Will Ross Superstar

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    Honestly give yourself a break from social media.
     
  12. PhonZhi

    PhonZhi Veteran

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    You've been burdened with the gift of being "conscious"

    [​IMG]
     
  13. Raava

    Raava Moderator Staff Member

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    Being Black is exhausting, being Black and aware could cause a break down.

    When the first shooting happened I was upset but not as upset as I would be before. Because at this point I had begun to condition myself to function, it happens so much. Then as I always do I delved into the story and I was crying and upset all day. I messed up projects at at work. I missed a deadline. I couldn't concentrate. By the time the second shooting happened I was numbing again trying to get it back together and it's like WTF MAN!

    Its a constant battle. Like you feel bad about going on about life but what choice do you have? You are mad at the world, mad at people not caring going on with their life knowing they have no idea and if they could speak their mind it would be some racist BS or c00n BS. You are looking at other Black people like how come you aren't as torn up or mad as I am? Maybe we are all putting up a front at the job...
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2016
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  14. Ol’Otis

    Ol’Otis The Picasso of the Ghetto

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    Wanna borrow my Makaveli cd :mjcry:

    Gotta hold ya head :wow:


    Never mind I gotta go bump that :mjcry:
     
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  15. Afro

    Afro Student of life Supporter

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    Comments like this is why I appreciate The Coli being here :wow:

    Your right, the pain can only be numbed for so long. When it comes back, your rarely ready for it :francis:


    The next month is going to divide this country in a big way.
     
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