PANIC Time: If you're around 30 (flabby and sick) and still single.

[HoustonHeat]

You agree wit Champ but yet you just listed da reasons why alot of brehs are choosin not to rush into gettin married and/or aren't considering dat shyt all at. Maybe i'm misreadin what you wrote but dat shyt seems a bit confusing considering which side of da argument you are seemingly on.

Help me out fam.

I said "most part", but also listed why I think we are arguing based on outdated notions.

Champ keeps saying that marriage isnt the only form of commitment. Lots of these 30 year olds are dating in relationships, not getting married, not having kids, and living the life.

It's not so polarized as you all are making it. You think it is either A.- Hoeing/Not wanting to get married or B.- Get married, stuck, and living a retiree lifestyle. There's a lot of people that arent' doing either A or B.

When you equate happy/social/fun life only with hoeing, and social death with commitment, it sounds like you havent had the privilege of being socialized well.

 

[Tom]

I remember there was a thread on sohh or coli where nikkas was actually saying that every black man should be able to play basketball


nikka I can't even dribble

 

[jmspro]

When I was in my early to mid twenties I couldn't imagine even living past my 30's...........maybe I was short sighted or just ignorant.

But I see these young cats perspective.

I'm 34 and no kids...........don't want any. (good job) and 'm starting to believe that the older a person gets the more they don't want to have kids. Hell I honestly think that having kids should be left to the young n dumb because if you know better ............then you wouldn't put yourself through that shyt.

but then again I might be just jaded. Hell I don't even think life itself is anything special or sacred anymore...(its 7 billion est. human lives on this planet alone ....... most of which wont amount to jack sh*t don't kid yaselves)

Damn, we got the same exact mindset.

 

[OG_StankBrefs]

I said "most part", but also listed why I think we are arguing based on outdated notions.

Champ keeps saying that marriage isnt the only form of commitment. Lots of these 30 year olds are dating in relationships, not getting married, not having kids, and living the life.

It's not so polarized as you all are making it. You think it is either A.- Hoeing/Not wanting to get married or B.- Get married, stuck, and living a retiree lifestyle. There's a lot of people that arent' doing either A or B.

When you equate happy/social/fun life only with hoeing, and social death with commitment, it sounds like you havent had the privilege of being socialized well.

Dat nikka is on his Romney steez. Check out homie's eariler posts. He was shyttin all up n down on nikkas for not wanting to get married period but as soon as posters started lettin their feelings be known he switched/softened his whole stance breh.

But i hear ya now patna.

 

[DaChampIsHere]

Normal? What is normal? Are people not individuals? You're using the word normal to push people into ideals you consider acceptable. I'm black and like rap music some black people don't. If I say its not normal for a black person not to like rap that's some bullshyt just like you basically suggesting all men have a life objective of a wife and kids is some bullshyt. Why use words like normal to make it seem like they're wrong for feeling how they feel just cause you don't see eye to eye with it.

I'm not saying you are wrong for how you are feeling. Skipping any referencing adjectives, I don't think hating a whole sex of people means you socially adjusted to life though. Take from that what you will.

I said "most part", but also listed why I think we are arguing based on outdated notions.
Champ keeps saying that marriage isnt the only form of commitment. Lots of these 30 year olds are dating in relationships, not getting married, not having kids, and living the life.
It's not so polarized as you all are making it. You think it is either A.- Hoeing/Not wanting to get married or B.- Get married, stuck, and living a retiree lifestyle. There's a lot of people that arent' doing either A or B.
When you equate happy/social/fun life only with hoeing, and social death with commitment, it sounds like you havent had the privilege of being socialized well.

Thank you.

Dat nikka is on his Romney steez. Check out homie's eariler posts. He was shyttin all up n down on nikkas for not wanting to get married period but as soon as posters started lettin their feelings be known he switched/softened his whole stance breh.

No, I only mentioned marriage once in my first post in here. And the way I was using it, I was only saying it as an identifying trait of people I know (I don't know anyone on the life-partner steeze; it's a fairly new concept). I haven't mentioned the point "marriage" specifically since. Only "commitments". I have never felt like you NEEDED to fill out a piece of paper or go through a ceremony to form a lifelong partnership with someone.

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

You agree wit Champ but yet you just listed da reasons why alot of brehs are choosin not to rush into gettin married and/or aren't considering dat shyt all at. Maybe i'm misreadin what you wrote but dat shyt seems a bit confusing considering which side of da argument you are seemingly on.

Help me out fam.

I think he's saying he gets where DaChamp is coming from and agrees with some of it, but changes in soceity are making it harder to hit certain milestones (as well as making people ask whether said milestones are even worth it)

We are still cleaning up from the housing bubble popping and dude is talking about why people don't own homes by 30

 

[DaChampIsHere]

We are still cleaning up from the housing bubble popping and dude is talking about why people don't own homes by 30

I get that of course, but that doesn't negate anything I'm saying about these same people being those late bloomers. Don't BS yourself into thinking that it's impossible/not happening that much. There are even programs specifically for minorities that offer assistance for first time home buyers.

It gives you a reason, but doesn't negate the fact of what it is and really gives leeway to my "not successful"/forward thinking point.

 

[OG_StankBrefs]

I

No, I only mentioned marriage once in my first post in here. And the way I was using it, I was only saying it as an identifying trait of people I know (I don't know anyone on the life-partner steeze; it's a fairly new concept). I haven't mentioned the point "marriage" specifically since. Only "commitments". I have never felt like you NEEDED to fill out a piece of paper or go through a ceremony to form a lifelong partnership with someone.

Breh.

Y'all are definitely some very late bloomers, on that 2nd childhood/Peter Pan syndrome status. Most of y'all haven't been right your whole damn life, and are now talking about you've reached your peak at 30-32. A lot of your reasons for such is "p*ssy", but damn brehs, I'm sorry with the chicks and numbers posted here, I'd have to say you might as well get a chick cause you're not pulling anything impressive "ratings" or numbers wise, so what's the point.

Y'all sound so childish and foolish, it's hilarious. Y'all are happy about being +30 and still renting apartments and then saying such like it's something good. Guessing you moved out of your parents house at 18, you've been throwing money away for +12 years. Like, you're clearly deficient/immature in other parts of life too and it shows.

Anyway, I don't know any guy who is THAT dude that isn't married or hasn't been married by 30 unless he's a straight up gay.

I'm not only talking success in the terms of the "American dream" (something I never mentioned). I'm just talking about achieving what you want to do. And I'm also talking only talking about dudes who are on that whole "I don't wanna get married" kick. I'm not suggesting to give up time for money, but I do also see a little something wrong in being adamantly against commitment at that stage of maturity once you get to a certain age, especially if your reason is "I'm at my peak" or "I'm getting p*ssy". Not trading "time for money" has nothing to do being so afraid of committing to something. And the part about what's he's experienced is irrelevant, cause there are definitely a lot of things he hasn't experienced that someone else has that may be more or just just as valuable of an experience. I doubt someone who has experience the joy of childbirth with a great partner would really give that up to travel 20 countries when then could just as well do that at any moment in their life.

Like, if you were to ask your friend if he'd want a woman who would stick with him on some life time shyt, and he said straight up said "No. Never", that wouldn't be strange to you?

I don't have kids, but let's really be real here: Since when did the fact of "not being happy" stop anyone from doing anything work related? Do you think people in Africa are "happy" spearing down lions and risking their lives? Do you think people in the ice age loved leaving their fires and families behind to risk their life for some food? Do you think Asians are happy about leaving their families behind to come over here and make a living working in menial conditions?

The ideas of "working" and "labor" has been so romanticized in western culture it's not even funny.

You have to complete assignments in air condition from 9-5. How horrible Do you seriously know how many immigrants would KILL to be in that position? It's not as bad as people make it out to be (ie. First world problems)



Again, I'm not speaking about any "American Dream". I'm talking about achieving your goals and setting yourself up to be in a position to help your family (and family extends way further than just your kids/kids you don't have). What you listed is not even the "American dream", that's the way life works period, no matter what country you live in.

I think you misunderstood my traveling talking point. To work past that quickly, would you trade the feeling of bringing your first born in the world for the experience of traveling? You wouldn't. My only point in that aspect is that bringing up experiences is "futile" because everyone has felt a better feeling or was the ability to experience something that they would treasure, if not equally, then more.

And you may not be able to travel while you're kids are young, but if you do things right, there's no reason who shouldn't be able to travel the world once they are of age.

I'm not even talking about "marriage" in the traditional sense. It doesn't take a ceremony to make someone your "wife" or "husband". Someone who shuns away commitment ain't hittin' right. Can't tell me you want to be an old man by yourself and have me believe it.

Ok. You can be successful, but how does that mean you aren't socially off? Or that you're good with people? You're trying to use "success" as the only qualifier when I've said other things too.

People don't want to get married for a good amount of reasons. Show me a person who is mature, who is a people person, who wants friends, who is successful, who is heterosexual, who wants to spend the rest of his life fukkin' hoes and then be alone. Nah. You know who these guys usually end up being? Those stupid as sugar daddies who will pay for companionship because they realized too late in the game that being alone and intruding on other people's family time when they need something ain't fun or cool.

And no, there is no difference. You will go in on Reincar and say all the things I'm saying as a way to villify him, when his main idea is only "don't get married". Don't tell me I'm wrong for the things I say, when I can catch you saying the same thing to someone else.

Mah dood you came into dis thread talkin all kinds of greasy bout cats and continued to do so all throughout dis thread.

You're whole steez was trynna shyt on nikkas who don't have any desire to get married. Then you switched it up to well "i'm not technically talking about marriage" and your pompus levels increasingly dropped da more folks was comin in here knockin down dem broad ass assumptions you was throwin out. C'mon cuz.

 

[DaChampIsHere]

Breh.
Mah dood you came into dis thread talkin all kinds of greasy bout cats and continued to do so all throughout dis thread.
You're whole steez was trynna shyt on nikkas who don't have any desire to get married. Then you switched it up to well "i'm not technically talking about marriage" and your pompus levels increasingly dropped da more folks was comin in here knockin down dem broad ass assumptions you was throwin out. C'mon cuz.

I just described why I mentioned it the first time. Most people are not on the idea of long-term committed relationships/unions. It's a fairly new concept. Being such, I don't know that many people who are exploring those options, none in that specific +30 age group.

I said people don't want to get married for a good amount of reasons, then I switch right back to "commitments". I say I'm not talking about traditional marriage, and then I go right back to "commitments". If I wanted to just talk about marriage, trust I would, it's a damn shorter word and strikes a much more clear idea in people's head than for me to keep repeating and explaining "commitments"

I'm not trying to switch anything up. The second post after my first, I mentioned "commitments" and guess what, you're ignoring that now to prove a point. Several people agreed with my post when I first made it besides 1 person. Why would I back down in my very next post because one person disagreed outside of the 3 who did agree right when I posted it.

Now you're going to argue semantics with me when my point couldn't be proven wrong. Fine. I mentioned marriage 4 times (3 with the word "commitments" attached to wat I was saying) in comparison to the +20 times I said "commitment". Congrats, you should feel very accomplished.

 

[BillBanneker]

Yeah. He's even made attempts at atleast some form of commitment by having girlfriends. Dudes in here are talking about being single bachelors, clubbin'/partyin' to pick up women forever.

He also has the herp

Don't switch up the song now. You definitely used "commitment" as a long term relationship. Not really comparable to the multiple/various flings jeter has.

 

[DaChampIsHere]

Don't switch up the song now. You definitely used "commitment" as a long term relationship. Not really comparable to the multiple/various flings jeter has.

I hate gossip stuff, but him and his last girlfriend were together for 3 years. That seems kinda long to me, not "flingy". Dude was 33/38 and tried his hand at a long term. Some things don't work out. Dudes catch bodies in between time. Honestly, what man/adult do you know who jumping in and out of long term relationships back-to-back-to-back.

Is that what you do though? You break up with a chick and run straight in to a relationship with the next one?

 

[BillBanneker]

I hate gossip stuff, but him and his last girlfriend were together for 3 years. That seems kinda long to me, not "flingy". Dude was 33/38 and tried his hand at a long term. Some things don't work out. Dudes catch bodies in between time. Honestly, what man/adult do you know who jumping in and out of long term relationships back-to-back-to-back.

Is that what you do though? You break up with a chick and run straight in to a relationship with the next one?

Right, you know them personally to determine that? Even taking off the theoretical "three year relationship", dude was well into his 30's living the lifestyle that would be impossible according your logic.

 

[Anothergirl]

If anyone hates a whole group of people outside of what they can do for them, they are considered sociopaths.

It's just not normal for a man to hate women.

Which i what most of the "never wanna get married" crew is.
selfish...methodical..and exacting in going thru their whole lives using people up until they get their fill and moving on while feeling no emotion. and yes many of them are "Successful" and seemingly "well adjusted" on the outside. but they're not. that's not normal.
it's textbook soicopathy. i don't fault them for it because sociopathy is something you're born with (or develop due to some kind of acute trama in childhood) they honestly can't help it and there's no cure for it. read up about sociopaths ...sad shyt.

 

[Anothergirl]

Which i what most of the "never wanna get married" crew is.
selfish...methodical..and exacting in going thru their whole lives using people up until they get their fill and moving on while feeling no emotion. and yes many of them are "Successful" and seemingly "well adjusted" on the outside. but they're not. that's not normal.
it's textbook soicopathy. i don't fault them for it because sociopathy is something you're born with (or develop due to some kind of acute trama in childhood) they honestly can't help it and there's no cure for it. read up about sociopaths ...sad shyt.

i should add there are exceptions to this like priest and monks who take a vow of Celibacy and genuinely believe they're doing something for the greater good.

 

[DaChampIsHere]

you know them personally to determine that?

You apparently know him enough to know that he'd never want a relationship/commitment/marriage/kids/etc. IDK about getting on me for something you did as well.

There's also nothing "theoretical" about him having a 3-year relationship. How do you have a theoretical relationship.