Post Break up issues
- Thread starter Kooze4524
- Start date
Yaboysix
That nikka
Nygga! I've done the same thing!My daughter’s mother and I were together for three years. We built a life....we had a child, plans to get married this fall, and what I thought was a solid foundation. But in June, everything changed. She came out to me and told me she’s been struggling with her sexuality for a long time... something she’d kept buried because of her religious upbringing and the fear of judgment from her family. As for why she finally decided to come out now, I can only guess. Maybe it took her years to accept herself, or the weight of hiding such a big part of who she is became too heavy. Maybe she reached a point where she needed to be honest with me out of respect
When she told me, I didn’t know how to process it. I packed up and left. Not out of hate... but out of shock, confusion, and heartbreak.
It’s hard not to turn inward and wonder, What did I lack? Was I not enough? I keep thinking about how I fell in love with someone who, in the end, wasn’t fully herself. And maybe she couldn’t be.... not with her background, not with the pressure she was under. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less. She was my best friend. My ride or die. The one I planned to spend forever with. Now I look back and question everything. It feels like the life we were building wasn’t as real as I believed it was.
Am I wrong for feeling resentful? I don’t know. I don’t fully understand the complexities of struggling with one’s sexuality. I don’t know what it’s like to live in fear of your truth. But I do know what it’s like to love someone completely, only to find out they were carrying something they couldn’t share with you and now because of all this, my daughter has to grow up in two different homes.
Since it happened, I’ve found myself spiraling into a huge porn addiction... especially lesbian porn, where I imagine women doing things to her. I didn’t understand why at first. But now I see it... it’s a way for my mind to rewrite the story. In those fantasies, its all bout control. In real life, I feel powerless.. like I couldn’t change what was happening. But in my sick fantasies, I get to shape the story, to feel some sense of power or involvement, even if it’s complicated or painful. This situation really messed up
had a girlfriend who grew up in the church, was religious and straight as an arrow... believed in traditional wife stuff blah blah blah...
She revealed to me that she had been sexually abused by women her whole life, even while grown!
Big sister used to make her sick her titties...
Babysitter next door neighbor showed her how to play with her Pwussy...(Now she's hypersexualized)
In college,Closeted childhood friend would come to her and cry on her shoulder about something that's going on in her life and ended up eating her pwussy every time, girlfriend was psychology frozen when it happened... whole time the friend was a pathological liar and made up stories JUST to get close enough to get in an intimate space so she can be a predator...
Of course, me being a DIRTBAG...I'm asking Details every other week... trying to piece the movie together without being obvious...
"So...when she gave you oral sex in the dorm room... did you orgasm?"
"So.... when she Came to you crying that her boyfriend was cheating that one time, did you Eat her too...orrrr?...."
Boy, using my imagination,I jacked the SHYT out my dikk from the stories... Thinking of her with other women, especially with the predatory lying childhood friend ...
All parties Aged up to legal age,of course!!
Eventually , told me it made her uncomfortable asking about those details, I eventually stopped...
I know, I ain't shyt breh
.
Shyt happens, the best thing for a breakup is to focus on what you can control , if you got a hobby jump into it, try a new one , exercise will help you boost your confidence I would recommend to stay away from low vibrational activity like watching porn you're at a weak point emotionally and Evil creeps in in those moments of weakness obviously focus on your Kid be there for her. Enjoy your time with your new hobbies and new pussc will find it's way to you. Your ex with time will realize her mistake Lesbian relationships are violent as fukk so teach your kid to be open with you and to say something if they see something. You'll be alright.My daughter’s mother and I were together for three years. We built a life....we had a child, plans to get married this fall, and what I thought was a solid foundation. But in June, everything changed. She came out to me and told me she’s been struggling with her sexuality for a long time... something she’d kept buried because of her religious upbringing and the fear of judgment from her family. As for why she finally decided to come out now, I can only guess. Maybe it took her years to accept herself, or the weight of hiding such a big part of who she is became too heavy. Maybe she reached a point where she needed to be honest with me out of respect
When she told me, I didn’t know how to process it. I packed up and left. Not out of hate... but out of shock, confusion, and heartbreak.
It’s hard not to turn inward and wonder, What did I lack? Was I not enough? I keep thinking about how I fell in love with someone who, in the end, wasn’t fully herself. And maybe she couldn’t be.... not with her background, not with the pressure she was under. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less. She was my best friend. My ride or die. The one I planned to spend forever with. Now I look back and question everything. It feels like the life we were building wasn’t as real as I believed it was.
Am I wrong for feeling resentful? I don’t know. I don’t fully understand the complexities of struggling with one’s sexuality. I don’t know what it’s like to live in fear of your truth. But I do know what it’s like to love someone completely, only to find out they were carrying something they couldn’t share with you and now because of all this, my daughter has to grow up in two different homes.
Since it happened, I’ve found myself spiraling into a huge porn addiction... especially lesbian porn, where I imagine women doing things to her. I didn’t understand why at first. But now I see it... it’s a way for my mind to rewrite the story. In those fantasies, its all bout control. In real life, I feel powerless.. like I couldn’t change what was happening. But in my sick fantasies, I get to shape the story, to feel some sense of power or involvement, even if it’s complicated or painful. This situation really messed up
Let me fist say that I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. At least she was honest with you and told you before you found out that she cheated on you with a woman.My daughter’s mother and I were together for three years. We built a life....we had a child, plans to get married this fall, and what I thought was a solid foundation. But in June, everything changed. She came out to me and told me she’s been struggling with her sexuality for a long time... something she’d kept buried because of her religious upbringing and the fear of judgment from her family. As for why she finally decided to come out now, I can only guess. Maybe it took her years to accept herself, or the weight of hiding such a big part of who she is became too heavy. Maybe she reached a point where she needed to be honest with me out of respect
When she told me, I didn’t know how to process it. I packed up and left. Not out of hate... but out of shock, confusion, and heartbreak.
It’s hard not to turn inward and wonder, What did I lack? Was I not enough? I keep thinking about how I fell in love with someone who, in the end, wasn’t fully herself. And maybe she couldn’t be.... not with her background, not with the pressure she was under. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less. She was my best friend. My ride or die. The one I planned to spend forever with. Now I look back and question everything. It feels like the life we were building wasn’t as real as I believed it was.
Am I wrong for feeling resentful? I don’t know. I don’t fully understand the complexities of struggling with one’s sexuality. I don’t know what it’s like to live in fear of your truth. But I do know what it’s like to love someone completely, only to find out they were carrying something they couldn’t share with you and now because of all this, my daughter has to grow up in two different homes.
Since it happened, I’ve found myself spiraling into a huge porn addiction... especially lesbian porn, where I imagine women doing things to her. I didn’t understand why at first. But now I see it... it’s a way for my mind to rewrite the story. In those fantasies, its all bout control. In real life, I feel powerless.. like I couldn’t change what was happening. But in my sick fantasies, I get to shape the story, to feel some sense of power or involvement, even if it’s complicated or painful. This situation really messed up
And you asked did you lack something lacked or were you not enough? No you weren't enough and you do lack something, a p*ssy.
Something that you can't control so don't bother looking inward or try to blame yourself for anything. There's nothing that you could've done differently, it's her.
It's not fair but there's a lot of people not living their truth because of church or how their families would feel.
I don't have any advice other than to try your best not to be upset, and best of luck co-parenting.
Fúck that bítch for pulling the rug from under you like that… she more than likely knew she was a dyke but still started a relationship with you, had a child with you, and allowed you to believe y’all had a future together. At the end of the day you didn’t do anything wrong breh. You honestly dodged a bullet since this came out before y’all got married. Focus on your mental health, taking care of your daughter, then go find some other woman to fúck.
This is why I don’t deal with women from extremely religious upbringings or bisexual women. Way too many issues, unaddressed trauma or fúckery that will pop up during a relationship.
This is why I don’t deal with women from extremely religious upbringings or bisexual women. Way too many issues, unaddressed trauma or fúckery that will pop up during a relationship.
Thatrogueassdiaz
We're on the blood path now
That's exactly how a narcissist would react, you're right. Breh will rebound but the wound will be there for awhile.
Maybe I am missing something, but what exactly did she tell you? Did she breakup or did she just tell you about her sexuality. Is she bi? Lesbian? You really need to talk openly and honestly. I get it it's a huge blow to the ego. Also see a professional they can help you navigate this productively. Where does your relationship stand? One thing I will say is everything good you experienced was real. It happened. I know it's hard not to question it. Don't over analyze it. See a professional they will help you navigate this new normal. Also see a therapist together so you guys can figure out the future either together or as coparents. Good luck bruh. I know it's hard.
seymour cake
All Star
Its just woman my boy dont look too deep into it.. all these females confused/ bi curious, dont really know what they want frfr..
This is why u never ever put all your eggs on 9ne basket.. da hoe just wanted her cake and eat it too, it low key sound like she used u for da baby fr..
Dont beat ya self up about it theyll always come back once they realize the grass not greener..
shyt u probably should try to start a poly wit her and the other girl, that shyt becoming a norm now she already wit da shyts might as well try .
This is why u never ever put all your eggs on 9ne basket.. da hoe just wanted her cake and eat it too, it low key sound like she used u for da baby fr..
Dont beat ya self up about it theyll always come back once they realize the grass not greener..
shyt u probably should try to start a poly wit her and the other girl, that shyt becoming a norm now she already wit da shyts might as well try .
I appreciate you saying that, for real. To answer your question… she told me while we were grocery shopping at Walmart. She said she’s struggling with her sexuality and believes she’s truly gay. She admitted she was never attracted to men, just doing what was expected because of heteronormative pressure. I didn’t get any clarity why she finally came out now
She also said she didn’t want me to leave, but the truth is that’s not what I signed up for. I entered this relationship under the understanding that there was mutual attraction. She even implied “what if I was cool with her being with women, but she didn’t want me involved.”
On one hand, she’s realizing that she’s truly attracted to women and that past expectations led her into relationships with men that weren’t authentic to her.
On the other hand, she still values the connection she has with me, the stability I provide, and the life we have shared together, including our daughter and shared responsibilities.
Because of this, she’s trying to hold two incompatible realities at once… trying to keep the relationship with me while also following her own feelings. From my perspective, this feels confusing af and contradictory because the relationship I thought was based on mutual attraction and shared commitment is now being reframed in a way that doesn’t align with my expectations or needs.
I never would have made the choices I did if I had known the truth about her sexuality from the start. I wouldn’t have gotten her pregnant, bought a house with her, planned to get married this fall, or supported her financially and emotionally. It felt like mine and our daughter whole world exploded in a matter of seconds. I used to see my little princess every day, now it’s every weekend.
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Bruh, go back to your baby. You both owe it to her to figure out what this means. The reality she's questioning her sexuality. She don't know what she is. You have to have honest discussions about it, your feelings towards each other, etc. don't accuse and say you did x. Say I feel x. First step is a productive dialogue. She didn't want you to go. Why? Does she live you? Security? The baby? Yeah you didn't sign up for it but it's your reality now. It's going to take a lot of work, but at the very least your baby is worth it.
I think part of it is the baby, the life we’ve built together, and probably security too. She said she loves me deeply and that I’m a great father, so I guess she didn’t want to lose that. But all of this started in June, and now it’s September. She’s fully embraced the gay lifestyle now, she’s on dating apps and actively dating women. Things have only escalated, pushing us even further apart than when this all began. Getting ready for custody mediation is my main priority, but I’ve found myself consumed by internal struggles and using porn to cope, which has made me feel the need to vent and seek help.
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Yeah man therapist for sure. It will seriously help
Women make emotional decisions everyday. To be honest, its not your fault. Usually when you've been a fair and decent lover, the person who leaves has issues, because nobody is perfect.My daughter’s mother and I were together for three years. We built a life....we had a child, plans to get married this fall, and what I thought was a solid foundation. But in June, everything changed. She came out to me and told me she’s been struggling with her sexuality for a long time... something she’d kept buried because of her religious upbringing and the fear of judgment from her family. As for why she finally decided to come out now, I can only guess. Maybe it took her years to accept herself, or the weight of hiding such a big part of who she is became too heavy. Maybe she reached a point where she needed to be honest with me out of respect
When she told me, I didn’t know how to process it. I packed up and left. Not out of hate... but out of shock, confusion, and heartbreak.
It’s hard not to turn inward and wonder, What did I lack? Was I not enough? I keep thinking about how I fell in love with someone who, in the end, wasn’t fully herself. And maybe she couldn’t be.... not with her background, not with the pressure she was under. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less. She was my best friend. My ride or die. The one I planned to spend forever with. Now I look back and question everything. It feels like the life we were building wasn’t as real as I believed it was.
Am I wrong for feeling resentful? I don’t know. I don’t fully understand the complexities of struggling with one’s sexuality. I don’t know what it’s like to live in fear of your truth. But I do know what it’s like to love someone completely, only to find out they were carrying something they couldn’t share with you and now because of all this, my daughter has to grow up in two different homes.
Since it happened, I’ve found myself spiraling into a huge porn addiction... especially lesbian porn, where I imagine women doing things to her. I didn’t understand why at first. But now I see it... it’s a way for my mind to rewrite the story. In those fantasies, its all bout control. In real life, I feel powerless.. like I couldn’t change what was happening. But in my sick fantasies, I get to shape the story, to feel some sense of power or involvement, even if it’s complicated or painful. This situation really messed up
Also take her leaving with a grain of salt. That STILL may not be the real reason and you could see her dealing with a guy again. They make up reasons in their head to excuse their bad decisions. Also dont be surprised if she tries to come back in 3 years. I know a chic who did thI them went straight again. Shes moving selfishly and irresponsibly.
Lastly take some time to process it and cry about it for some time, then try to build yourself back up. Pray, get closer to God, get a new wardrobe, a haircut, one or 2 new hobbies and build a new life over the next 3 years. Youll get over it.