Question for Divorcees....Wknd Dad or Summer Dad? Edit: my friend is leaving the state

[Marc Spector]

GOt a friend of mine who is going through a messy ass divorce ATM with his wife of 13 years (been together for 17). 3 kids all under 10 in the mix.

Now hes from the East Coast originally (we live on the West Coast) and wifey and her family are from here and HATE him and has shown no intent to be amicable so far. Outside of his wife and kids, breh has no real attachments up here (his job aint that great either ).

IM telling mans that the second the divorce is finalized and once his youngest daughter (an infant) is old enough to sit on a plane, he needs to GTFOH and just be a summer custody parent.

No point in seeing the kids every other weeekend in a rushed fashion and with no help from the other parent. Might as well get them for a summer all to yourself. He kinda agrees but obviously he wants to be as geographically close as possible.

Whats the best philosophy on this? Does it just depend on the relationship between the 2 parents?

 

[get these nets]

Children need the consistent physical presence of their father to develop.

(I'm not a divorcee, but have had the exact same convo with my buddies as you're having)

 

[Dallas' 4 Eva]

Why don't he just get custody of his kids?

 

[Morethan1]

Got a homie going thru sorta the same thing

 

[Roberto Firmino]

Nah man that's awful advice, kids need a constant presence and your boy would miss out on so much and the joys of seeing them grow just having them every Summer, that ain't the one.

 

[MoveForward]

Hell nah, it took two people to make the child, so each parent should have equal time with their child.

 

[etrofllenrod504]

I got divorced when my daughter was 2yrs old she 5 now going on 6. I didn't want to be a weekend daddy. So I paid a lawyer 5k(plus alot more cause some other shyt) to handle my custody I have 50/50 everything. By my daughter not being in school at the time I was able to equal amount of time. Also as of last month my lawyer got me off child support because my daughter is with me equal amount of time and I have shared custody. The schedule is tough on me at times but it's beyond worth it, so I can be there consistently through these early years. Which they say are the most important.

 

[SadimirPutin]

Na that summer custody thing sound like ass

Tell your boy invest in a lawyer and get that situation handles....i dont care how much of a bytch the mother might be those are his kids too

 

[ConPHIdential]

My parents split and I lived with Moms for most of my time growing up with the occasional summer visit to my Dad.


Now that I’m older I recognize he regrets that.

 

[HARLEM AL]

Hell nah, it took two people to make the child, so each parent should have equal time with their child.

Y'all say this but yall act like the laws isnt set up for men to only be weekend Dads.

He should try to get custody. If he cant get custody and his relationship with his ex wife is toxic then he need to go wherever he needs and be a summer dad. that shyt aint going to get better. Her family will always be in their shyt.

 

[Ugo Ogugwa]

My parents split and I lived with Moms for most of my time growing up with the occasional summer visit to my Dad.


Now that I’m older I recognize he regrets that.

Lord knows I do

I'm sorry son.

 

[Sad Bunny]

Only seeing your kids 3 months out of the year is disgusting

 

[Sad Bunny]

Y'all say this but yall act like the laws isnt set up for men to only be weekend Dads.

He should try to get custody. If he cant get custody and his relationship with his ex wife is toxic then he need to go wherever he needs and be a summer dad. that shyt aint going to get better. Her family will always be in their shyt.

Stay out of court then.

My cousin is going through a divorce right now and they both got a free consultation from a divorce lawyer and they even said it's not worth taking it to court and they have two kids

 

[GnauzBookOfRhymes]

That is terrible advice breh.

Kids are already likely to subconsciously blame themselves. Moving to the other side of the country will only confirm those feelings (no matter what father tells them).

Can't ever imagine willingly choosing to be away from your kids for such long stretches of time.

 

[Originalman]

Children need the consistent physical presence of their father to develop.

(I'm not a divorcee, but have had the exact same convo with my buddies as you're having)

Real talk if I got a divorce my ass not moving from where my kids at until they adults (18 years old out of high school and up).