Question for the Anti Single Mother Clique :unsure:

[incredible1]

I remember a few years back someone made a whole list of reasons as to why men should not date single mothers on a blog. I think it had some good points...here it is. Pretty long


1) Baby Damage – Birth has a traumatic effect on the female form. Pregnancy leaves stretch marks, saggy breasts, and c-section scars. I’ve also heard that the nookie is even stretch out and it isn’t the same anymore. Then there’s the weight gain. Most women NEVER LOSE IT or they never get their former hot shape back.
-

2) “I Can’t Find A Baby Sitter” – Women will use this as an excuse to get out of date with you or they may legitimately can’t find a baby sitter. Either case it isn’t your problem and you shouldn’t have to deal with it.

3) Babies Interrupt Sex – I’ve had this happen to me. I was banging a woman and her kid interrupted my sex. Needless to say I was pissed. If some kid is going to interrupt the meanest head you’ve ever gotten, that kid should have your last name.

4) Baby’s Daddy – When your dealing with a woman and your getting know her, you shouldn’t have to deal with kid’s father. Some guys can’t get over the fact that their ex has moved on. Before he was an un-attentive jerk and didn’t give a jolly goddamn about her. Now that you’ve entered into the picture, the dude wants to be the ideal boyfriend and a “father of the year,” nominee.” The guy stars stalking her and wants to fight you. Even if the woman and guy are on good terms, the guy feels as if he can always smash. He knows her. He knows what she wants to hear and what makes her happy. The next know you your having this conversation- “I’ve decided to try and make it work with Jimmy’s dad”. Best way to avoid the situation is to avoid single moms.

5)Rent-A-Daddy – Realizing her mistake, realizing that kids (especially boys need fathers,) The woman gets desperate, any and every guy has the potential to be “daddy.” You’re out trying to get some, not inherit a family.

6)The Kids Are Still Up - This is only a problem if your trying to pursue something other than a booty call. Wanting to spend time with you, but not wanting to bring strange men around her kids, you find yourself only seeing this female after 10 or 11PM. You want to move forward, but she has to make sure your the “one.” This could take months. I suggest dealing with women that are readily available to hang out.
-

7) Double Heart Break - You are with the woman, then everything falls apart. You not only do you have to deal with losing the woman, but you’ve formed a bond with lil’ Jimmy. You and Jimmy play HALO together, watch the Wizards’ hoop it up, go to the zoo, and things dads do with sons or daughters. On top of maybe missing the woman, you miss the kid.

8) Your Not My Dad. - You hook up with the woman, eventually the issue of discipline is going to come up. Some kids being resentful or just being a bratty prick is going to eventuallly pull the “YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!! YOUR NOT MY DAD!!!” card. Personally if I did date single mothers and some dumba$$ kid pulled that stunt on me, I would say, “Your right. I’m not your father. Since I have no authority over you and you refuse to listen to me, you need to pack your sh*t and go live with your dad.” This would be a deal breaker for me. In addition some mothers or the dad would have problem with you disciplining their kid. I’m sorry, if some kid broke my laptop, I’m whooping his a$$.
-

9)You Know What She Going To Do – She already has one kid, if you knock her up, it’s safe to assume she’s going to have another one.

10) Bad Judge of Character – This female got knocked up by somebody that she was “supposely in love with.” Not only is she a bad judge of character, she’s GROSSLY irresponsible. The same guy that’s an a$$hole now, is the same guy she thought the world of and had unprotected sex with.

11)Unnecessary Expenditures - Eventually you’ll get to meet the kid(s.) Soon those dates turn into family outings. Instead of paying for two people, your paying for three or more. The same goes if you move in with her.

12) You’ll Never Be 1 – When your trying to build a relationship with somebody, you should be the focus of the woman’s life. It should be about you and her. If she has a kid, you’ll NEVER BE 1!!! That’s not a bad thing either, but it’s something I don’t want to deal with. Neither should you.

13)Tag, Your It! - This should be the BIGGEST deterrent to EVER dealing with a single mother. In some jurisdictions, I think California is one of them, if you start dealing with a female with kids, move in with her and things go south. THE FEMALE CAN SUE YOU FOR CHILD SUPPORT!!!! She can claim that the her and child have “become accustomed to you supporting the child.” YOU COULD END UP POSSIBLY PAYING CHILD SUPPORT FOR A KID THAT ISN’T EVEN YOURS! Imagine being extorted money because you were doing what you thought was the “right thing.” The state doesn’t give a rat’s a$$ about the relationship being over or you being a “good guy.” They just don’t want the chick on welfare. So as far as your concerned, it’s “TAG, YOUR IT!”

 

[JT-Money]

If more black dudes shunned single mother's you would have less chicks getting impregnated by bums or losers. Lowering your standards only degrades the dating pool for everyone.

 

[winb83]

tell that to bytches who require men to fit their page long list of what her perfect mate is supposed to be

you got bytches out here rejecting men because they're not over 6 ft, or his car aint new enough. but you want men to slide on big issues like her having a child by another man. the fukk is wrong with this picture

with women its ok for them to reject men because of some shyt they don't want but let a man not accept a woman over something he doesn't wanna put up with and he's wrong.

women will take your standards and analyze them then try to redefine them or tell you you should want them when they clearly don't meet them. the whole i'm not fat i'm thick as an example. women will literally try to tell you how you should feel about them and other women in the same boat as them.

women are trying to turn being single mothers into a badge of honor when its not. its easy to be a single mother. all you gotta do is go out and get knocked up and have kid and that's that. its hard to keep a full real family together. to navigate both the challenges or parenting and a healthy relationship and make them both work despite each other.

 

[MikelArteta]

A woman with kids who is single out of circumstance is way different than a woman who is dealing with all kinds of dudes and having multiple kids by different baby daddies, but kids out of wedlock are still undesireable for the following reasons:

1) You will be put in the backseat from the get-go. Her child needs come first and rightfully so, but you will be 'second' at all times during the relationship.

2) You will eventually be more and more responsible for those kids the longer the relationship goes on. She will ask you to start playing daddy. This leads to 3:

3) You can be put on child support for kids that aren't yours. You start playing daddy to those kids that aren't yours, and you two break up and you are stuck paying for kids that aren't yours.

4) You cannot discipline those kids since in their mind and even her mind, you aren't their daddy.

5) She will always have a deep connection to another man, seeing as she bore his children. Everytime she looks at her kids, she will think of him.

and to add on say you actually meet a quality single mom with a kid, and you guys date for like 3-4 years you start to love that kid as your own, then she needs space, you guys break up

you have ZERO legal rights to that child that you raised and loved as your own for 3-4 years, relationships now adays barely last , at least if its your child you can go for custody or get shared custody etc. but when its not shrugs.

if the baby dad is alive doesnt matter how much of a jerk, a$$hole or how horribly he treated her, or whatever names she calls him in front of your face, deep down she'd give up anything to be a family with him, and any time he "changes" you'll be dropped like a hot potato.

the amount of dudes still getting in their baby momma guts @Scarecrow The Terrible , she can be the most righteous moral woman out there but terverian comes to drop off terverian jr and its cold and windy outside "just stay the night"

why put yourself through that?

there is an abundance of women out there without kids, i dont understand why folks want to make it harder on themselves

 

[winb83]

i dont understand why folks want to make it harder on themselves

because people typically take the path of least resistance.

 

[MikelArteta]

every black man watch

 

[Bolzmark]

I just want to make something clear,

I am in no way trying to make men feel guilty for passing up on a good woman for having kids...that is your preference.


All I'm saying is...u may be missing out on something good in the long run just because she didnt meet a certain requirement.

You can say that about ANY single factor that kept anyone from getting with anybody. I rarely hear this said to women who wont get with a man because he isn't tall enough or doesn't have enough "swag".

 

[opulence]

Now hol up

There is nothing wrong with having preferences but hear me out please.

Say if you meet a woman, shes everything youve been looking for in a woman: sweet, smart, beautiful, has a lot to offer, great qualities etc. But 5 yrs ago her husband died in a car crash/train accident/plane accident and left her with 2 kids.

Will you still pursue her or u just totally against dating/marrying/starting a relationship with a single mother?

if the men do not want her then they do not deserve her...they saved her from wasting her time...

 

[marcuz]

if the men do not want her then they do not deserve her...they saved her from wasting her time...

nobody deserves a single mother, unless it's a man with kids.

 

[Rich Spirit]

fukk no

been there, done that..never again

 

[Kenny West]

I remember a few years back someone made a whole list of reasons as to why men should not date single mothers on a blog. I think it had some good points...here it is. Pretty long


1) Baby Damage – Birth has a traumatic effect on the female form. Pregnancy leaves stretch marks, saggy breasts, and c-section scars. I’ve also heard that the nookie is even stretch out and it isn’t the same anymore. Then there’s the weight gain. Most women NEVER LOSE IT or they never get their former hot shape back.
-

2) “I Can’t Find A Baby Sitter” – Women will use this as an excuse to get out of date with you or they may legitimately can’t find a baby sitter. Either case it isn’t your problem and you shouldn’t have to deal with it.

3) Babies Interrupt Sex – I’ve had this happen to me. I was banging a woman and her kid interrupted my sex. Needless to say I was pissed. If some kid is going to interrupt the meanest head you’ve ever gotten, that kid should have your last name.

4) Baby’s Daddy – When your dealing with a woman and your getting know her, you shouldn’t have to deal with kid’s father. Some guys can’t get over the fact that their ex has moved on. Before he was an un-attentive jerk and didn’t give a jolly goddamn about her. Now that you’ve entered into the picture, the dude wants to be the ideal boyfriend and a “father of the year,” nominee.” The guy stars stalking her and wants to fight you. Even if the woman and guy are on good terms, the guy feels as if he can always smash. He knows her. He knows what she wants to hear and what makes her happy. The next know you your having this conversation- “I’ve decided to try and make it work with Jimmy’s dad”. Best way to avoid the situation is to avoid single moms.

5)Rent-A-Daddy – Realizing her mistake, realizing that kids (especially boys need fathers,) The woman gets desperate, any and every guy has the potential to be “daddy.” You’re out trying to get some, not inherit a family.

6)The Kids Are Still Up - This is only a problem if your trying to pursue something other than a booty call. Wanting to spend time with you, but not wanting to bring strange men around her kids, you find yourself only seeing this female after 10 or 11PM. You want to move forward, but she has to make sure your the “one.” This could take months. I suggest dealing with women that are readily available to hang out.
-

7) Double Heart Break - You are with the woman, then everything falls apart. You not only do you have to deal with losing the woman, but you’ve formed a bond with lil’ Jimmy. You and Jimmy play HALO together, watch the Wizards’ hoop it up, go to the zoo, and things dads do with sons or daughters. On top of maybe missing the woman, you miss the kid.

8) Your Not My Dad. - You hook up with the woman, eventually the issue of discipline is going to come up. Some kids being resentful or just being a bratty prick is going to eventuallly pull the “YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!! YOUR NOT MY DAD!!!” card. Personally if I did date single mothers and some dumba$$ kid pulled that stunt on me, I would say, “Your right. I’m not your father. Since I have no authority over you and you refuse to listen to me, you need to pack your sh*t and go live with your dad.” This would be a deal breaker for me. In addition some mothers or the dad would have problem with you disciplining their kid. I’m sorry, if some kid broke my laptop, I’m whooping his a$$.
-

9)You Know What She Going To Do – She already has one kid, if you knock her up, it’s safe to assume she’s going to have another one.

10) Bad Judge of Character – This female got knocked up by somebody that she was “supposely in love with.” Not only is she a bad judge of character, she’s GROSSLY irresponsible. The same guy that’s an a$$hole now, is the same guy she thought the world of and had unprotected sex with.

11)Unnecessary Expenditures - Eventually you’ll get to meet the kid(s.) Soon those dates turn into family outings. Instead of paying for two people, your paying for three or more. The same goes if you move in with her.

12) You’ll Never Be 1 – When your trying to build a relationship with somebody, you should be the focus of the woman’s life. It should be about you and her. If she has a kid, you’ll NEVER BE 1!!! That’s not a bad thing either, but it’s something I don’t want to deal with. Neither should you.

13)Tag, Your It! - This should be the BIGGEST deterrent to EVER dealing with a single mother. In some jurisdictions, I think California is one of them, if you start dealing with a female with kids, move in with her and things go south. THE FEMALE CAN SUE YOU FOR CHILD SUPPORT!!!! She can claim that the her and child have “become accustomed to you supporting the child.” YOU COULD END UP POSSIBLY PAYING CHILD SUPPORT FOR A KID THAT ISN’T EVEN YOURS! Imagine being extorted money because you were doing what you thought was the “right thing.” The state doesn’t give a rat’s a$$ about the relationship being over or you being a “good guy.” They just don’t want the chick on welfare. So as far as your concerned, it’s “TAG, YOUR IT!”

I came into the thread 90% sure I wouldn't take the broad in the scenario as anything more than a jumpoff.

It's 100 now.

 

[MikelArteta]

nobody deserves a single mother, unless it's a man with kids.

even if your a man with kids odds are you don't have custody and dont want a single mom as well.


ive said it before i cant respect a man who wifes a single mom, most of these men are desperate, simps, white knights.

even animals kill b*stard animals when they move in on the mother

 

[opulence]

nobody deserves a single mother, unless it's a man with kids.

that is ignorant...only if men can get pregnant..

situations happen and not all single mothers are ignorant hoodrats...

 

[MikelArteta]

I remember a few years back someone made a whole list of reasons as to why men should not date single mothers on a blog. I think it had some good points...here it is. Pretty long


1) Baby Damage – Birth has a traumatic effect on the female form. Pregnancy leaves stretch marks, saggy breasts, and c-section scars. I’ve also heard that the nookie is even stretch out and it isn’t the same anymore. Then there’s the weight gain. Most women NEVER LOSE IT or they never get their former hot shape back.
-

2) “I Can’t Find A Baby Sitter” – Women will use this as an excuse to get out of date with you or they may legitimately can’t find a baby sitter. Either case it isn’t your problem and you shouldn’t have to deal with it.

3) Babies Interrupt Sex – I’ve had this happen to me. I was banging a woman and her kid interrupted my sex. Needless to say I was pissed. If some kid is going to interrupt the meanest head you’ve ever gotten, that kid should have your last name.

4) Baby’s Daddy – When your dealing with a woman and your getting know her, you shouldn’t have to deal with kid’s father. Some guys can’t get over the fact that their ex has moved on. Before he was an un-attentive jerk and didn’t give a jolly goddamn about her. Now that you’ve entered into the picture, the dude wants to be the ideal boyfriend and a “father of the year,” nominee.” The guy stars stalking her and wants to fight you. Even if the woman and guy are on good terms, the guy feels as if he can always smash. He knows her. He knows what she wants to hear and what makes her happy. The next know you your having this conversation- “I’ve decided to try and make it work with Jimmy’s dad”. Best way to avoid the situation is to avoid single moms.

5)Rent-A-Daddy – Realizing her mistake, realizing that kids (especially boys need fathers,) The woman gets desperate, any and every guy has the potential to be “daddy.” You’re out trying to get some, not inherit a family.

6)The Kids Are Still Up - This is only a problem if your trying to pursue something other than a booty call. Wanting to spend time with you, but not wanting to bring strange men around her kids, you find yourself only seeing this female after 10 or 11PM. You want to move forward, but she has to make sure your the “one.” This could take months. I suggest dealing with women that are readily available to hang out.
-

7) Double Heart Break - You are with the woman, then everything falls apart. You not only do you have to deal with losing the woman, but you’ve formed a bond with lil’ Jimmy. You and Jimmy play HALO together, watch the Wizards’ hoop it up, go to the zoo, and things dads do with sons or daughters. On top of maybe missing the woman, you miss the kid.

8) Your Not My Dad. - You hook up with the woman, eventually the issue of discipline is going to come up. Some kids being resentful or just being a bratty prick is going to eventuallly pull the “YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!! YOUR NOT MY DAD!!!” card. Personally if I did date single mothers and some dumba$$ kid pulled that stunt on me, I would say, “Your right. I’m not your father. Since I have no authority over you and you refuse to listen to me, you need to pack your sh*t and go live with your dad.” This would be a deal breaker for me. In addition some mothers or the dad would have problem with you disciplining their kid. I’m sorry, if some kid broke my laptop, I’m whooping his a$$.
-

9)You Know What She Going To Do – She already has one kid, if you knock her up, it’s safe to assume she’s going to have another one.

10) Bad Judge of Character – This female got knocked up by somebody that she was “supposely in love with.” Not only is she a bad judge of character, she’s GROSSLY irresponsible. The same guy that’s an a$$hole now, is the same guy she thought the world of and had unprotected sex with.

11)Unnecessary Expenditures - Eventually you’ll get to meet the kid(s.) Soon those dates turn into family outings. Instead of paying for two people, your paying for three or more. The same goes if you move in with her.

12) You’ll Never Be 1 – When your trying to build a relationship with somebody, you should be the focus of the woman’s life. It should be about you and her. If she has a kid, you’ll NEVER BE 1!!! That’s not a bad thing either, but it’s something I don’t want to deal with. Neither should you.

13)Tag, Your It! - This should be the BIGGEST deterrent to EVER dealing with a single mother. In some jurisdictions, I think California is one of them, if you start dealing with a female with kids, move in with her and things go south. THE FEMALE CAN SUE YOU FOR CHILD SUPPORT!!!! She can claim that the her and child have “become accustomed to you supporting the child.” YOU COULD END UP POSSIBLY PAYING CHILD SUPPORT FOR A KID THAT ISN’T EVEN YOURS! Imagine being extorted money because you were doing what you thought was the “right thing.” The state doesn’t give a rat’s a$$ about the relationship being over or you being a “good guy.” They just don’t want the chick on welfare. So as far as your concerned, it’s “TAG, YOUR IT!”

sad thing is this is all true, but its not even bad who the hell would want to date someone so irresponsible that their kid doesn't come first?

 

[Rawtid]

If more black dudes shunned single mother's you would have less chicks getting impregnated by bums or losers. Lowering your standards only degrades the dating pool for everyone.

If black men shunned more single mothers half of these motherfukkers wouldn't even be here. Me included.