Essential Quick gems for dealing with men thread :lolbron:


Mar 11, 2022
Don't allow a man to pull you into his issues with other women. A lot of times people will not tell the true story and you will walk in on a situation without knowing you are being lied to. It is best to mind your business about a man's past. People in general are usually not honest and will not disclose what they have done to create a situation. This applies to a man with an ex-wife, the mother of his kids, ex-girlfriend or any other woman that he has entertained in any capacity.

I have noticed that a lot of women want to falsely be seen as a "special snowflake" and some men will allow you to think so. Nine times out of ten, he has had great women and mistreated them. He may seek to gain sexual or emotional favors from women who he panders to, who unknowingly fall prey to purposely crafted narratives. A lot of these kinds of men want to request sexually explicit photos or videos, to have some form of sexual access, even if not in person. Be watchful and not desperate.

Sometimes people like to play victim and act as if they have no idea why things are happening to them. They are the commonality in every relationship they have been in. Try to avoid men who have an inability to self-assess and the capacity to determine how to lead themselves to a new outcome. He must break free from some of his own negative patterns, before he can assist with your life. He should have a willingness to admit his wrongs and make them right, when possible.

Serve. If you come across a man who is trustworthy, honest and open, serve him. Do not hold back or be afraid to tend to his needs and wants. No one should shame you for it, and even if they do, it is your happiness at stake.

Listen to your man and include him in your thought process and concerns in life. There will be many stumbling blocks that can be avoided when you are under the covering of a good man.

Do not allow a man to gaslight you or string your heart along. Follow your gut and run when you see actions that are harmful towards any part of your wellbeing.

Know which man to trust. There will come a day when you are in contact with a man of integrity and principles. If he is submitted to God and seeks wise counsel from other men, take a chance and allow that to be the man who you are not doubtful of.

Apologize for wrongdoing. Do not hesitate to admit your faults and smooth situations over to avoid tension and lingering resentment.

Nurture and do not judge. Be understanding, comforting and reassuring when a man trusts you. NEVER throw anything he tells you in his face or share his secrets. Ever! Do not betray him, not even with friends or family. If you wish to discuss a situation, it is best to do so together, with a neutral party. Those in your inner circle will automatically take up for you without knowing when you're at fault. This will cripple you and has the potential to ruin your relationship.

Allow him to talk. If and when he begins to open his heart to you, don't interrupt, allow him to get his thoughts and feelings out. Then you can backtrack and inquire about details.

Give him the final say. The two of you should discuss things, but the final decision should rest in his hands, if he is to feel like a leader.

Reframe your mind to see him as the leader/head. Men have much different ways and viewpoints than us. Their take on an issue may cut down the time it takes to accomplish a goal.

Appreciate him. Show gratitude for small improvements, acknowledgements and endearing idiosyncrasies.

Compliment him. Men DO NOT get a lot of compliments. Make sure it is sincere, but this can help give him extra confidence and reinforce attraction.

Deference. Hold him in high regard and uplift him. There is a way to address people, especially those you care about. Be respectful. If you find there is an abundance of pain, it is best to cut ties, if you are unable to work through it or unwilling to have professional counseling.
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