Raising Another Man's Child
- Thread starter BallGame
- Start date
Yeah but you're not the father...you'd be a step or co-parent. If you get with this chick, you're going to be a father. You can't separate it. Just leave the situation alone.
Nintendough
#Kliq
Don't fatten frogs to feed snakes breh. 
No matter what you think or do....he will be able to slide in and out of yall life (and her vagina) whenever he feels like it.
Ask yourself how it will feel if you raise that seed most of its life and then suddenly dude wants to "have a relationship". You gonna be sitting at graduation party with 3 people at the parent's table. How that either gonna burn when the seed says "I wanna thank my two dads" even though you did most of the work?.
No matter what you think or do....he will be able to slide in and out of yall life (and her vagina) whenever he feels like it. Ask yourself how it will feel if you raise that seed most of its life and then suddenly dude wants to "have a relationship". You gonna be sitting at graduation party with 3 people at the parent's table. How that either gonna burn when the seed says "I wanna thank my two dads" even though you did most of the work?.
Metta World Movement
Peace and love...to all!!
YOOOOOOOO My nikka said "Don't you DARE raise that child"
:deadcena:
:deadcena:
rapdonttweet
Pro
My advice is to end it and move on. Because if you get serious with this female you WILL have to play some kind of father-like role, whether the real father is there or not. Nothing wrong with that, but you obviously don't want to be in that role.
that's a start. but are you cool with a ready made family and raising another man's kid tho? and what if she wants more kids. basically once you move in together she's thinking marriage. you got to look out for yourself and be fair to her given the circumstances.
that's a toughie but you can't always choose the people you fall for. sometime's it's just the way it is...
BallGame
Rookie
It's not that I dont or am not ready to raise a child right now. And if anything this would be the optimal situation because as a teacher, a newborn (late night crying) would fukk me all up in terms of sleep/stress. Her kid is already past that phase.
The big issue is that there's always uncertainty, depending on whatever role the BD feels like assuming at a given time.
The big issue is that there's always uncertainty, depending on whatever role the BD feels like assuming at a given time.
sanityovar8ted
OG Moma Coli....dat bytch Thowd!!!
it depends on the type of nikka he oz and what type of relationship they got . My husband been raising my daughter as his own since she was 2 . Her daddy and shyt and prolly won't be shyt but an inmate he been gone in and out ova half her life. She knows her daddy ain't shyt. She makes cards and etc for her stepdad not her sperm donor. I made that bad decision to get pregnant. If you wanna know if it's worth u going thru with it, just go by how she treats him.Sohh... Back around 2008, me and this chick became good friends, used to flirt but nothing serious at all cuz we both had a bf/gf.
Mid 2009, she gets pregnant by the same cat. She ends up having the baby which ultimately puts a strain on their relationship, and they split. When the baby is about 5 months, I break up with my girlfriend, and like 2 days later im in the box. We fool around with the idea for a bit then end up getting together a few months later.
We broke up, got back, broke up, blah blah... son was still taking care of his seed though and I had it made... I could slide through and kick it with her and the girl without having any financial obligations/had the freedom to bounce whenever.
The problem now is, now that we both have degrees, she wants me to get realllll serious; taking that "next" step, shacking up, all this shyt. All this is happening while the BD is slowly doing less and less as a father.
Long story short, I feel that if I get more serious with shorty, the BD is gonna completely leave and this will become MY CHILD. Crazy shyt is, my life aint too much different; I didn't know that my pops wasn't my pops until last year, cuz the nikka raised me since I was 3. I dont know if I have the heart to do it though, brehs..
What should I do
This is one of those threads where I see the obvious disconnect between the Coli and reality.
First you and the mother need to have a talk about how you're going to progress in this relationship. You need to share with her your concerns about the father and raising another man's child in general.
If you two decide to proceed as a couple, then the both of you need to have a talk with the father. He needs to know who you are and what your role is going forward and it also needs to be addressed that he hasn't been doing his fair share.
All of your concerns can be worked out with communication.
JasonSJackson
Jah Sun Ma'at Ra
Sohh... Back around 2008, me and this chick became good friends, used to flirt but nothing serious at all cuz we both had a bf/gf.
Mid 2009, she gets pregnant by the same cat. She ends up having the baby which ultimately puts a strain on their relationship, and they split. When the baby is about 5 months, I break up with my girlfriend, and like 2 days later im in the box. We fool around with the idea for a bit then end up getting together a few months later.
We broke up, got back, broke up, blah blah... son was still taking care of his seed though and I had it made... I could slide through and kick it with her and the girl without having any financial obligations/had the freedom to bounce whenever.
The problem now is, now that we both have degrees, she wants me to get realllll serious; taking that "next" step, shacking up, all this shyt. All this is happening while the BD is slowly doing less and less as a father.
Long story short, I feel that if I get more serious with shorty, the BD is gonna completely leave and this will become MY CHILD. Crazy shyt is, my life aint too much different; I didn't know that my pops wasn't my pops until last year, cuz the nikka raised me since I was 3. I dont know if I have the heart to do it though, brehs..
What should I do
tuff one.........
i got a homeboy who was in a similiar situation to urs and he raises the child like it's his own. He's been with the mother since she was pregnant with the child and raises the child as his own. They are now married and the child is like 8 years old.
The child knows his father and, from what i understand, the father sometimes is in the childs life.
My homeboy has the child call him "padre" and his father "dad" to remove some confusion.
Me personally, ive dealt "seriously" with a female who had a young daughter (around 2) by someone else. The father is doing 25 years of Fed time and the child was adorable so that made it easier for me to accept the situation.......
Forming a bond with a child in a situation like that will probably make it harder for you to drop the mother if you ever decide you want to.