A.V.
reTIreMEnt: THE ALBUM (01/22) ALL DSPs
Man, look here. The God don't take too many L's, and I don't even have too many "swagless moments" in memory to draw from to tell u nikkas about em, but if there's anything that would constitute for something worthy of being in this thread, I do remember a few years back...
I was 18 going on 19 (2006). My music was poppin off heavy and I was all over the place doing shows, fukkin random broads and just enjoying life. I had a bad Dominican shorty who was my girl & held a nikka down wit whatever, but she stayed an hour and some change away so I was still fukkin & doin me as insurance. My MySpace pimp game was at peak levels too, and at this point I'd had bytches come driving & flying from different states just to get dikked down and kicked out. I had this one white shorty I was kickin it to from North Carolina (I'm in VA) wit a SUPER fat ass. I mean I seen some fat asses but lord
Back to that in a minute.
Anyways, we'd been kickin it on the phone for about 2 weeks when she told me she had a homegirl out in my area and she was lookin to stay wit her for a weekend and come check for a nikka. So me bein me, I obliged and told her it was whateva. I was expectin a lil white freak, fat ass but nothin spectacular, and I was jus gonna dikk her down & keep it movin. Back in this period of time, I was a straight up man-whore. I was smashin hoes for 1-2 hours, makin em nut, then they would run & tell they homegirls, and I'd inevitably end up fukkin them too, cuz they wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
So the broad makes it to her homegirls crib on Friday night, like 2 AM. (She took a 8 hour bus trip from NC). I arranged to pick her up from the mall, which was like halfway between my crib & homegirls crib, and I had my man wit me in the car cuz we was runnin around on some wild shyt at the time (another story). So I pull up, call her and when she tells me where she is and I finally see her, I see her from the back first and I'm like DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!
Shorty's body was SERIOUSLY built like:
Exactly like that, brehs. Shorty had a better "cliff" on the bottom of her ass though (where the thigh & bottom of the buttcheek meet). So I'm fukkin O.D. happy inside that Tom done sent a nikka a certified pawg. She had on these white stretch yoga pants, and a tight white T shirt with a red belt & some red jays. (It was April -- startin to warm up) So I looks at my man, and I can see the hate in his blood. He lustin after the bish too, and back then I was all for passin hoes to my mans & dem, but I looked at him after looking at her, and hit him wit the
I HAD to have this ass all to myself. fukk that. Get it from the rough, nikka. I hop out, give her a hug, and palm her ass a little, cuz she already kno what it is...Ass was soft as a pillow, no cellulite or nothing 
So jus to stunt, I'm like fukk that, I'll take this bytch back to the crib in a minute, I'ma walk around the mall and be seen wit this ass. This was shorty's first time in the area, so it was some new puss nikkas wasn't up on, and I was known for baggin em, so I jus wanted to make em even more mad. The looks we got was full of hate and envy. I was lol'in at nikkas in they face.
Finally, I drop my mans off & take her back to the crib and I'm fukkin R. Kelly ready...we get in the crib, go to my bedroom and lay on the bed...talk a lil bit. Shorty had real nice smooth skin, a sexy voice and I'm already fukkin hard from imagining that ass from the back wit what her moan must sound like...
So a few minutes later and we gettin to it. I'm pullin off them white pants, the thong, and reveal a completely shaved kitty kat, no razor bumps no nothing, I'm fukkin o.d.in at what the p*ssy bout to hit like, especially once I hit from the back, so in my youth and horniness, I'm like fukk it, I'ma raw dog this hoe. I'll hit up the clinic in the morning (nikkas, u kno how u sometimes use ur dikk intuition on wether a broad might got somethin or not -- luckily in my case, she didn't). So I undress, get on top of her jus to set it off, and I go to slide up in her, and it felt like my dikk hit a brick wall.
Me: "Damn shorty...I mean u said u was tight but gahDAMN!"
Her: "I told you...it's been eight months."
Me: "fukk, I kno I kno...I believe u now...shyt!"
So after battling and struggling to get my dikk up in her...(tightest I've ever been in) I was workin just the head inside her for a good 2 minutes, which was still gettin me off, much to my displeasure/pleasure. I finally get in, and this bytch p*ssy was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tight my nikka....I literally get about 10 strokes in, pull out & buss all over her stomach.
Me:
"Yoooo...dead ass shorty, that shyt NEVER happened to me before." (It hadn't.)
Her:
"It's alright...I kno I'm tight..."
Me: "fukk dat tho...U gon wait for like 15 or somethin, ain't no way I'm lettin u leave like that..."
But shorty already had plans with her homegirl set up that night (it was Saturday) and had arranged for her homegirl to come pick her up from my crib beforehand, so by the time my shyt came around to gettin back hard again, she had rolled out. I saw her another day that weekend, went to the club wit her, got a handjob in a restaurant from her, and almost smashed again, but the timing was all off, and she was workin wit her homegirl as transportation, & I damn sure wasn't about to be taxiying this bish around on my own dime, so I didn't really get another chance to kick it w her that weekend, but we made plans for next time she came up.
The night she left, she stayed up all night til like 6 am when her bus back to NC left. (Sunday) I think I was out in some guts, just to redeem my ego, then I come home and call shorty jus to talk for a lil bit...she was actin mad different on the phone, and kept puttin the phone down like she was talkin to someone else at the same time, so I eventually just hung the fukk up.
Fast forward about 9 months...I'm sitting in the county jail for my first charge as an adult, and I'm doing a 6 month bid. I'm gettin mail every day from all these bytches I was fukkin wit, literally about 10-12 letters a week, pictures & all that...Shorty had sent me some mail and was talkin about comin back up when I came home...nikkas in jail share pics to see who be lying on they dikk & what caliber of hoes they really be hittin. At the time I was locked up, one of my mans, who I knew from the street...had just got hit with 20 years for a home invasion robbery where he tied up some old white people. Dumb ass nikka.
But we stayed showing eachother pics, trading pics, etc...and he brought a pic of a bish up to my cell n I was checkin her out...then later that night, I went in my stash n went down to the bottom tier, to his cell to show him a pic of the broad from North Carolina...I pull it out (he's locked in his cell, upper & lower tiers weren't allowed out at the same time) at his door and put it up to the window, and he points to the pic and goes, "oh shyt, that's Samantha! nikka I was fukkin her when you was on the phone wit her!" And laughs.
On the outside I'm smilin, laughin like "nikka these hoes ain't shyt, I had that bish at the crib first night n smashed"
But on the inside I'm like
Never saw the bish again neither. Smh.
L
I was 18 going on 19 (2006). My music was poppin off heavy and I was all over the place doing shows, fukkin random broads and just enjoying life. I had a bad Dominican shorty who was my girl & held a nikka down wit whatever, but she stayed an hour and some change away so I was still fukkin & doin me as insurance. My MySpace pimp game was at peak levels too, and at this point I'd had bytches come driving & flying from different states just to get dikked down and kicked out. I had this one white shorty I was kickin it to from North Carolina (I'm in VA) wit a SUPER fat ass. I mean I seen some fat asses but lord
Back to that in a minute. Anyways, we'd been kickin it on the phone for about 2 weeks when she told me she had a homegirl out in my area and she was lookin to stay wit her for a weekend and come check for a nikka. So me bein me, I obliged and told her it was whateva. I was expectin a lil white freak, fat ass but nothin spectacular, and I was jus gonna dikk her down & keep it movin. Back in this period of time, I was a straight up man-whore. I was smashin hoes for 1-2 hours, makin em nut, then they would run & tell they homegirls, and I'd inevitably end up fukkin them too, cuz they wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
So the broad makes it to her homegirls crib on Friday night, like 2 AM. (She took a 8 hour bus trip from NC). I arranged to pick her up from the mall, which was like halfway between my crib & homegirls crib, and I had my man wit me in the car cuz we was runnin around on some wild shyt at the time (another story). So I pull up, call her and when she tells me where she is and I finally see her, I see her from the back first and I'm like DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!
Shorty's body was SERIOUSLY built like:
Exactly like that, brehs. Shorty had a better "cliff" on the bottom of her ass though (where the thigh & bottom of the buttcheek meet). So I'm fukkin O.D. happy inside that Tom done sent a nikka a certified pawg. She had on these white stretch yoga pants, and a tight white T shirt with a red belt & some red jays. (It was April -- startin to warm up) So I looks at my man, and I can see the hate in his blood. He lustin after the bish too, and back then I was all for passin hoes to my mans & dem, but I looked at him after looking at her, and hit him wit the
I HAD to have this ass all to myself. fukk that. Get it from the rough, nikka. I hop out, give her a hug, and palm her ass a little, cuz she already kno what it is...Ass was soft as a pillow, no cellulite or nothing So jus to stunt, I'm like fukk that, I'll take this bytch back to the crib in a minute, I'ma walk around the mall and be seen wit this ass. This was shorty's first time in the area, so it was some new puss nikkas wasn't up on, and I was known for baggin em, so I jus wanted to make em even more mad. The looks we got was full of hate and envy. I was lol'in at nikkas in they face.
Finally, I drop my mans off & take her back to the crib and I'm fukkin R. Kelly ready...we get in the crib, go to my bedroom and lay on the bed...talk a lil bit. Shorty had real nice smooth skin, a sexy voice and I'm already fukkin hard from imagining that ass from the back wit what her moan must sound like...
So a few minutes later and we gettin to it. I'm pullin off them white pants, the thong, and reveal a completely shaved kitty kat, no razor bumps no nothing, I'm fukkin o.d.in at what the p*ssy bout to hit like, especially once I hit from the back, so in my youth and horniness, I'm like fukk it, I'ma raw dog this hoe. I'll hit up the clinic in the morning (nikkas, u kno how u sometimes use ur dikk intuition on wether a broad might got somethin or not -- luckily in my case, she didn't). So I undress, get on top of her jus to set it off, and I go to slide up in her, and it felt like my dikk hit a brick wall.
Me: "Damn shorty...I mean u said u was tight but gahDAMN!"
Her: "I told you...it's been eight months."
Me: "fukk, I kno I kno...I believe u now...shyt!"
So after battling and struggling to get my dikk up in her...(tightest I've ever been in) I was workin just the head inside her for a good 2 minutes, which was still gettin me off, much to my displeasure/pleasure. I finally get in, and this bytch p*ssy was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tight my nikka....I literally get about 10 strokes in, pull out & buss all over her stomach.
Me:
"Yoooo...dead ass shorty, that shyt NEVER happened to me before." (It hadn't.)Her:
"It's alright...I kno I'm tight..."Me: "fukk dat tho...U gon wait for like 15 or somethin, ain't no way I'm lettin u leave like that..."
But shorty already had plans with her homegirl set up that night (it was Saturday) and had arranged for her homegirl to come pick her up from my crib beforehand, so by the time my shyt came around to gettin back hard again, she had rolled out. I saw her another day that weekend, went to the club wit her, got a handjob in a restaurant from her, and almost smashed again, but the timing was all off, and she was workin wit her homegirl as transportation, & I damn sure wasn't about to be taxiying this bish around on my own dime, so I didn't really get another chance to kick it w her that weekend, but we made plans for next time she came up.
The night she left, she stayed up all night til like 6 am when her bus back to NC left. (Sunday) I think I was out in some guts, just to redeem my ego, then I come home and call shorty jus to talk for a lil bit...she was actin mad different on the phone, and kept puttin the phone down like she was talkin to someone else at the same time, so I eventually just hung the fukk up.
Fast forward about 9 months...I'm sitting in the county jail for my first charge as an adult, and I'm doing a 6 month bid. I'm gettin mail every day from all these bytches I was fukkin wit, literally about 10-12 letters a week, pictures & all that...Shorty had sent me some mail and was talkin about comin back up when I came home...nikkas in jail share pics to see who be lying on they dikk & what caliber of hoes they really be hittin. At the time I was locked up, one of my mans, who I knew from the street...had just got hit with 20 years for a home invasion robbery where he tied up some old white people. Dumb ass nikka.
But we stayed showing eachother pics, trading pics, etc...and he brought a pic of a bish up to my cell n I was checkin her out...then later that night, I went in my stash n went down to the bottom tier, to his cell to show him a pic of the broad from North Carolina...I pull it out (he's locked in his cell, upper & lower tiers weren't allowed out at the same time) at his door and put it up to the window, and he points to the pic and goes, "oh shyt, that's Samantha! nikka I was fukkin her when you was on the phone wit her!" And laughs.
On the outside I'm smilin, laughin like "nikka these hoes ain't shyt, I had that bish at the crib first night n smashed"
But on the inside I'm like
Never saw the bish again neither. Smh.
L
face on.
. First semester of college, 18 years old, and i'm like 
. Completely new experience, and the females were 
I was nervous as fukk, this broad is on one of those elliptical machines and as i'm walking towards her my heart is racing, I feel like i'm about to throw up and shyt at the same time. This broad was so bad that people were watching me approch her, because she drew that kind of attention.
The rest of the night, while everyone else was fukking, we awkwardly sat on opposite ends of the couch, she wouldn't even let me eat it. When they left she told everyone bye and gave hugs to em, except me. 
"This bich must be feeling me like I'm feeling her" And she says "Why are you always staring at her?". I just denied it walked away like 