I gotta say a lot of this is on you right now breh. If you making real good money consulting, I'm sure it means that in the past you put in mad work to develop your skills to get to that point. People seem to forget if you want just as successful/fun/rewarding/whatever a relationship as your career is, you need to put in that same level of work in your relationship.
you do all this exciting shyt during the day, giving all your energy to your clients/work, music, bjj, etc. then you come home and give her no effort, none of your energy, nothing. just some "fukk it bytch im tired , whatsup?"

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wtf can she do with that? instead of yall having something new or exciting to look forward to when you get home and yall see each other, the whole shyt is just dead.
It's one thing if she was the negative, argumentative type, always shootin down your ideas, but she sound like just wide open and down for whatever the fukk you wanna do. You can really mold her to wahtever you want. I think you can fix it up if you want, but if not just let her go breh.