Research: More and more American men and women have no friends

[JesusFOREVER]

My best friend is my cousin, only person ive ever had a real deal spiritual bond with besides my mom

we’ve been kicking it since we were babies tho so that plays a part, hard to form real friendships

 

[Da_Eggman]

I am wondering if this is an American phenomenon, a Western thing or a global trend?

Global trend

 

[DatNkkaCutty]

I can't always tell. Ppl say a lot of corny shyt today, just to sound trendy.


Anytime I step out wit my bro (from the sandbox), we always see nggas or hoes packed up, in a bar or lounge. A lot of superficial shyt, going on in those circles, too.

But anyway, I have 3 homies, I would consider TRUE friends. Two are from childhood..the 3rd early junior high. Anyone else I fukk with, are late-life acquaintances, and ppl are REALLY fukk wit, but the bond will always be slightly different. We may have met thru a situation (bro n law, work, etc.). I would expect it to be the same on their end, if we were comparing me, to their childhood homies.

My right-hand, and I had these conversations growing up as youth, so we were always aware of the fake love, and never allowed anyone to penetrate, or fukk up our bond after. Bros or hoes. Every female claims they don't fukk wit bytches, and only have male friends, nowadays.

Ppl just wanna sound cool.

 

[Fanservice]

I have to work 50+ hours a week and overnight. I don’t even feel like I have time to actually enjoy life, much less maintain friendships. I have to spend 80% of my free time recovering from work.

 

[god shamgod]

There’s a difference between “Friends” & real friends. You’re lucky if you have legit real ones

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

For years now, I used to say that a lotta people complaining about not having mates, dont even have FRIENDS.

Hating the opposite sex is a smoke screen for loneliness. Blame your lack of social skills on gender wars, but really you can’t get around reality.

 

[Depreciating Asset]

I mean, have you seen how people form relationships?
everything is based on artificial superficial parameters no wonder you don't form any real connections w/ anyone as you get older
most of my childhood friends moved away
if you don't have people who came up with you and accepted you for you, you will have acquaintances for the rest of your life even though it is possible to form new genuine friendships
people take everyone for granted until they become an adult and it hits them how lonely they are
if you had a lot of friends in middle or high school who were friends with you because of your popularity level, then yes they are not your real friends
most people don't have any real friends just acquaintances who arrive and leave based on situation and location who help us not feel lonely
it's an energy thing avoid sociopathic and psychopathic types or you will be surrounded by them because they tend to be social climbers
everyone wants to be a social climber these days
people are also so fake and two faced talking shyt behind your back and gossiping
hard to find genuine decent people out there who aren't toxic demons

Struck by this part of your post:

"most people don't have any real friends just acquaintances who arrive and leave based on situation and location who help us not feel lonely"

Damn. I think this is true but it is a hard pill to swallow.

 

[Juggalo Fred]

I'm glad I have my juggalo family

 

[Depreciating Asset]

I have my boys from when I was in high school and college, but we aren’t kicking it like back before my wife and kid and a leadership role at my place of work. I just don’t have time for that. I also have strong relationship with work colleagues across the country. We talk more through group chat, but it’s something.

Are you content with those choices? Sounds like you gave up closer and more real relationships for marriage and success. Don't get me wrong family is worth it if things are good but I can't imagine that your work relationships are as strong as the ones you used to have. Maybe it's just a product of getting older? But I feel like this is an American thing and maybe in other parts of the world you don't have to trade your old friendships for your new work colleagues.

 

[Deep_Black_Conscious]

For years now, I used to say that a lotta people complaining about not having mates, dont even have FRIENDS.

Hating the opposite sex is a smoke screen for loneliness. Blame your lack of social skills on gender wars, but really you can’t get around reality.

please don't turn this into a gender war
that wasn't even a topic in this thread until you introduced it
women experience loneliness too and can also not have friends and it seems like y'all tend to have more frenemies than friends seeing how you guys compete and interact with each other
and most people don't have friends, they have acquaintances in the way I described in my first post
yes even the friends you have now are most likely acquaintances
everyone is a friend when they are conveniently nearby and you hang out
that's how people define most of their friendships nowadays people they hang out with and talk to
but things change and people lose touch
if someone doesn't have their childhood friends or their childhood friends are not conveniently close by, something they cannot control, your friends will be acquaintances
that's what people do, they get lonely, latch onto people who they think they can relate to and call them a friend when in reality people are using each other so they don't feel lonely and say see I have a life unlike you losers to flex on social media

 

[Straw Hat Luffy]

I always been an outlier. My personality is ambivert. Half introvert half extrovert.

In High school, I drifted towards different groups of folks. A lot of great memories being shared.

Post-high school, I started to network and meet like-minded folks.

I just socialize with people. Ended up meeting a lot of girls and cool brehs. Close mouths don't get fed


The concept of friendship in the western world is very different than in other cultures. America promotes a lot of superficiality. Real recognizes real.

You hit it right on the nail. Closed mouths don’t get fed.

The posts with their “lots of people are introverted now and no one wants friends” answers only be half right. People are introverted and do not know how to socialize but that anti-social “I like to be alone” narrative is most of the time a facade.

there are the specific moments where people are too busy with work and children, but even those people find a small circle they can fukk with at least.

When I hear shyt like

“I hate small talk”

“these people aren’t your real friends these folks will never hit u up”

Reveals more about the person saying it than the people around. It’s like oh. . . You’re self-conscious and afraid of confirming that no one likes you


Meanwhile people who use the closed mouths don’t get fed people are eating because they don’t take shyt personal and try to socialize with everyone

 

[Deep_Black_Conscious]

You hit it right on the nail. Closed mouths don’t get fed.

The posts with their “lots of people are introverted now and no one wants friends” answers only be half right. People are introverted and do not know how to socialize but that anti-social “I like to be alone” narrative is most of the time a facade.

there are the specific moments where people are too busy with work and children, but even those people find a small circle they can fukk with at least.

When I hear shyt like

“I hate small talk”

“these people aren’t your real friends these folks will never hit u up”

Reveals more about the person saying it than the people around. It’s like oh. . . You’re self-conscious and afraid of confirming that no one likes you


Meanwhile people who use the closed mouths don’t get fed people are eating because they don’t take shyt personal and try to socialize with everyone

this will get you a lot of acquaintances but it takes more work to find a "friend"
it seems like a "friend" is someone we use to feel like we have a life in other words so we don't feel lonely
if you find people who can just be more than acquaintances in adulthood, hold on to them

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

please don't turn this into a gender war
that wasn't even a topic in this thread until you introduced it
women experience loneliness too and can also not have friends and it seems like y'all tend to have more frenemies than friends seeing how you guys compete and interact with each other
and most people don't have friends, they have acquaintances in the way I described in my first post
yes even the friends you have now are most likely acquaintances
everyone is a friend when they are conveniently nearby and you hang out
that's how people define most of their friendships nowadays people they hang out with and talk to
but things change and people lose touch
if someone doesn't have their childhood friends or their childhood friends are not conveniently close by, something they cannot control, your friends will be acquaintances
that's what people do, they get lonely, latch onto people who they think they can relate to and call them a friend when in reality people are using each other so they don't feel lonely and say see I have a life unlike you losers to flex on social media

Notice in my post I didn’t even use gender specific pronouns because I was referring to men AND women. In fact I even alluded to the use of gender wars as being a smokescreen for dealing with crippling social skills issues.

You projected ALL of this into the conversation from a post that was actually referring to both men AND women.

 

[Straw Hat Luffy]

this will get you a lot of acquaintances but it takes more work to find a "friend"
it seems like a "friend" is someone we use to feel like we have a life in other words so we don't feel lonely
if you find people who can just be more acquaintances in adulthood, hold on to them

But aren’t all friends acquaintances at first? Some just remain faces you see out and socialize with on social media once and a while. Others progress into more.

Like my best friends are my best friends because of the time and effort spent into it.


People forget that u have to put work into shyt to make it happens. But it makes sense in this current world of low self-esteem and anxiety

 

[Deep_Black_Conscious]

Notice in my post I didn’t even use gender specific pronouns because I was referring to men AND women. In fact I even alluded to the use of gender wars as being a smokescreen for dealing with crippling social skills issues.

You projected ALL of this into the conversation from a post that was actually referring to both men AND women.

I assumed that's where you were going given your history
But reading your post again it seems like I misread
But the point remains, for men and women it seems we make a lot of acquaintances that lead to loneliness instead of real friendships