Should *edited* cooperation and respect from a woman be conditional and if so what caliber or type of man deserves one

[Mr. Glass]

So when it’s time to get up in middle of the night because a strange sound was heard, who’s getting out of bed? Your wife? No disrespect. Just wondering how that co-captain life works where a man is expected to protect his family and lay his life on the line for them so his wife can stay behind to raise the children.

Of course I get up in the middle of the night with my pistol. But what does that mean? I'm in charge because I'm bigger and stronger? She also owns a glock. She could point it at my face right now, does that mean she's in control because she has the fear advantage?

And quite frankly, I don't really care what's "expected" of a man. We both work, clean, cook, and manage our real estate business together. We're friends before any of this "husband/wife" stuff. Neither one of us is shackled by religion or traditions. We just like each other and are doing life together. Marriage is like a constant conversation, where each party should be discussing topics indefinitely. We also are consulting one another.

 

[Mowgli]

End of next year I will have a purple belt.And I might spar you one day.

When im through with you ull be coming home to dinner on the table

 

[ogc163]

Agreeability is a personality trait that doesn't vary widely based on circumstances if one takes personality test like the big 5 seriously.

That means a woman who is highly disagreeable whether because of the way her mother raised her or how she decides to interact to get what she wants probably isn't going to become highly agreeable based on the man she is with.

And so, a man who wants a woman with an agreeable personality should find one who is already agreeable instead of falsely assuming his personality, money, or sex can change a disagreeable woman's personality.

 

[Goat poster]

The vast majority of men aren't doing this.

Maybe that example was of the extreme

But Im of the belief that both modern men AND women want traditional partners without doing what it takes on their side to complete the deal

 

[FTBS]

Well that's on the women for desiring that leadership in spite of being accomplished and educated.

Most men don't do this. Y'all sound like y'all take your sister's stories too close to heart, and a lot of this dynamic comes from the insistence on men valuing a woman's degrees and career at the same level that women value ours. A lot of confusion is bred from this because one relationship style is pushed as the "right way forward" while another style is what's truly desired.

Is leadership about sole financial execution or not? If not, then questions have to be raised or reemerged as to what makes a man worth following. Because if it's really about "how much of a man" he is and his character, the 50K man can lead the 80K woman. But the vast, vast, vast majority don't want to hear that.

I agree that there is duplicity and contradiction. I wont limit it to one side or the other though. You see it with both.

Leadership is about whatever the person looking to follow values. Most people will hold up finances. But that doesnt explain nikkas with nothing straight up running chicks that have money and options. If we talking women, they follow who they feel like following.

 

[Coco Loco]

People want to have their cake and eat it too. Guys wanna be Mr Big Bad Alpha while splitting bills and providing limited if any protection and no actual leadership. Ladies want a man that provides and allows her to live the soft life without telling her what to do or cheating on her.

You are right...being a leader is a big deal and deeper than most folks realize. A lot of people only see the instructive aspect or percieved freedom and fail to see the pressure or expectations that a leader must carry.

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Putting your family on your back and knowing their success and or failure is in your hands is not for the faint of heart. There's a certain caliber of person who can take that on, master it and manage it through the ups and downs

 

[Gloxina]

If you layout / create the environment for her, she’ll be submissive. Create a space for comfort and security. It’s simple.

It should also be noted that the type of man is important as well

I don't need submissiveness. I need a woman who understands sound and rational decision making. My wife is not submissive by any metric, but she rarely makes a decision without my input. Sometimes she recognizes that my input is sound, and sometimes she recognizes the cracks and pushes back. I have no use for a woman that will willingly allow me to walk us into a bad position in the name of "submissiveness" or "femininity". I've seen with my very eyes a man set his family back because "He was the man" and his word was law.

It's sounds corny AF

Brehs really expect someone who works just like you do, to submit to you like a child. lol.

How about mutual respect?

of course it should be conditional, i wouldnt want to invest in a woman who who was submissive with every tom dikk and jamal


she schould have discernment on who to give her all to. fukk that that shyt.

Everything in life is conditional. If you stop doing your job, what happens?

Dudes that don't understand this/have a problem with this are usually dudes who don't qualify for the higher caliber of women.


Btw what's the obsession black people have with this stupid topic?

Men are to lead for women to submit.

If you can't walk in your headship with respect to finances, security, protection, and direction, you should not have the expectation that a woman will submit to your headship. In this respect, you're submitting to what a woman needs and she, in turn, is submitting to you. Submission is essentially reciprocal.

Something tells me that making threads and watching content online about this is one of the main ways to not have a submissive woman on your life.

I always had a problem with the concept of "submission". Submission is for slaves or prison inmates. As a grown man of sound judgment and responsibility, my lady and I can talk through the logic or merits of something and if it's wrong it's wrong and if it's right it's right. Yes men or yes women will get you in trouble because you're not thinking critically about whatever the issue at hand is.

It depends on what you mean by "submissive"; some of y'all's definition of a submissive woman is more or less having a maid who lets you smash.

Black Panther's Anti-Incel Guide for Success With Women

This. Insubordination follows after loss of trust in leadership.

You want to avoid a marital mutiny? Be the type of man she wants to fall in line for.

Exactly.Your relationship is no good if you're both not actively looking for ways to protect the family. Too many dudes get in their feelings when their woman offers an alternative POV, like she's challenging his manhood. Sometimes we get too focused on something and get tunnel vision and lose track of the bigger picture.

Every man isn't a leader. The issue is a lot of men think they are solely because they are men. A smart woman won't just get up under any man, that would be stupid

I like to call it cooperation. But you have to be on point to get it
Have a plan, a vision
Also show tangible of where your vision leads
And we not cuffing dumb, gullible women either

The whole submission piece is a concept in the bible where the wife is told to submit to her husband. So inless she's your wife then no

That's the part a lot of dudes miss. They think they can sit around pillow talking women, day dreaming them to death. Then when the girl gets tired of hearing your chit chat, she's the problem. A woman will follow you 100 miles, but if you ain't taking any steps, she's not going to take you seriously. It could take you 20 years to get there, and she'll be patient, so long as you're being consistent.

Who the fukk are y'all nikkas these days for any woman to be submissive to? Y'all are on some clown shyt for real.

Because they fall for the old saying " a man falls in love with his eyes, a woman falls in love with her ears.". They believe that if the game sounds good and the dikk is sufficient the woman will stay. Problem is girls grow up...They get tired of you using their car. They get tired of giving you money. They get tired of sitting around while you and your homies record songs in a bathroom makeshift studio. They desire a man with direction and a plan.

Every relationship structure is conditional.

Alot of men want "submissive" women but have no idea on how to truly lead a household or the hard work it takes.

Nikkas wanna play Madden all day and expect they girl to wait on them hand and feet.

I don't care about submissiveness. I care about someone who values the things I value, thinks how I think on certain major issues (finances/money, raising children, retirement, basic decency, etc) who can raise our children properly if I pass away early, and who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Marriage is a partnership more than anything else. It's 2023, nobody is seeking the meek church girl who lives with her parents, has never had a job, and has bee trained to be a wife. Most people are working towards goals, working to get by, or in a profession they worked hard to get into.

Men want to cry about a lack of submissiveness while they display none of the leadership of men in the past. Dudes are out here struggling with no ambition, no goals, no education, and no shyt they own (car, house, whatever) yet are mad at women for not wanting to hop on their team. It's not 1965 anymore, factory jobs aren't paying the mortgage. But instead of changing with the time a lot of men just stay on the sidelines crying. Trust me, there are a LOT of successful men out here with wives and children living a good life. And their wives are as "submissive" as you can get in 2023 America because they're being taken care of and protected. If you can't do that, you shouldn't be talking about submissiveness.

much love to the rational men of TheColi


I sincerely, genuinely hope you get the big piece of chicken every night.

 

[Astroslik]

nikkas want “partners” and not wives

Community is done lol

 

[Legal]

I don't need submissiveness. I need a woman who understands sound and rational decision making. My wife is not submissive by any metric, but she rarely makes a decision without my input. Sometimes she recognizes that my input is sound, and sometimes she recognizes the cracks and pushes back. I have no use for a woman that will willingly allow me to walk us into a bad position in the name of "submissiveness" or "femininity". I've seen with my very eyes a man set his family back because "He was the man" and his word was law.

Agreed. My lady does the same. And it's not because I, by default, have all the answers. It's because we've proven to each other over time that we both want the best for each other and our relationship. Sometimes that means my ideas are used, sometimes it's hers, others, it's a little of column A, a little of of column B.

Brehs will really talk about how their father or grandfather led the family with an iron fist, almost brag about the shytty conditions they were eventually able to make it out of, and not even consider the possibility of those two things being related in any possible way.

Whatever floats your boat, do you...but "shouldn't" implies a standard that I don't subscribe to.

If you don't want your woman working, find you someone who's cool with that. My parents been together 38 years and my moms always kept a job, so it's clearly not a universal standard.

It's like brehs don't understand that each relationship is unique. Ultimately, trying to follow some old relationship tenets just because they exist, and might've maybe, possibly worked just a little bit at some point in history doesn't work. Is your woman fine with staying home and covering those responsibilities in return for you handling the ones she doesn't? Fine. Does having a career make her feel more fulfilled, and thus willing and able to contribute to the relationship in good faith? Also fine. There's really no strict template for a relationship, aside from making sure that everyone involved actually loves, respects, and values each other.

 

[Shadow King]

Maybe that example was of the extreme

But Im of the belief that both modern men AND women want traditional partners without doing what it takes on their side to complete the deal

I agree that there is duplicity and contradiction. I wont limit it to one side or the other though. You see it with both.

Leadership is about whatever the person looking to follow values. Most people will hold up finances. But that doesnt explain nikkas with nothing straight up running chicks that have money and options. If we talking women, they follow who they feel like following.

It exists on both sides, but the frequency is nowhere near equal. Until folks come out and admit it's largely about finances, there will always be some degree of duplicity on the male side, but most of us understand the concept of tangibility.

A lot of shifting things to "b bu but both of us do it" is based on trying silence "incels/red pillers", but these conversations will be forced to be addressed on a mainstream plane sooner than most people (here) want.

Fortunately for most of y'all (not really me), you'll be out of the market when this peaks.

 

[MajesticLion]

heh @ the title edit

 

[ScoopNScore]

You guys don’t get tired of this?

N I love the title edit that's pretty much saying "I'm not like all the other 'submissive woman' threads "