So NOW God can fix our relationship....

[Strapped]

fukk champs bullshyt reasoning & start over or you'll regret it

 

[DaChampIsHere]

her mind is on survival mode. she knows that at this point in her life, if he doesn't take her back, her future happiness is compromised. she doesn't really care about solving issues. she just wants to secure her positioning and will use whatever tricks she got left up her sleeve. Now she's on the God tip because she figures if she can convince him leaving her would be like going against the will of a higher power, he'll be forced to stay. It's probably somewhat sincere on a conscious level. but it's still manipulation. and he knows this cause he feels it in his gut and his intuition.
She's not looking to save/fix her marriage. she's looking for an angle to secure better positioning. this just happens to be her best option right now and she's scrambling cause that option is closing right in front her eyes. She already showed her true colors...

Could be, could not be. I just don't want dude to leave his marriage because of what some jaded dudes on a message board are saying. If everyone else in his life is telling him to run away as quickly as possible, then okay, because they actually see his situation from an unbiased perspective. We are only getting one side of things from him, and that's not enough for me to tell him to leave his marriage and talk bad about the mother of his kids.

fukk champs bullshyt reasoning & start over or you'll regret it

You act like I'm the only one who told him to keep his family together. Get off my dikk son. Your s/n been followin' behind mine a lil too much lately.

 

[Strapped]

Lol, not my style to follow you dawg

 

[DaChampIsHere]

Lol, not my style to follow you dawg

I hope it aint. FOH, b. :word: I love how your second post to me was a lot more humbled. Keep it that way and we good.

 

[Ohene]

6 months ago?

You never helped me in the gym thread

 

[Turbulent]

fukk champs bullshyt reasoning & start over or you'll regret it

marriage is a weird thing.

say you have a girlfriend and it's a longterm exclusive relationship. if you girl starts acting up, you can always leave and cut off contacts with her. if she begs for you to comeback, if you think it's salvageable, you can always take her back with a downgrade. so she'd be downgraded to strictly hanging out, or to jumpoff status. or you could put her in the friendzone. whichever downgrade you give her, she can always work her way back up through her actions. she has to re-qualify for the position. in anycase, when she comes back you can always re-negotiate the terms of the relationship in your favor and she either accepts the terms or goes elsewhere.

when you're married however, your wife is acting up, you seperate. but then if you take her back, you have to take her back as your wife. you can't downgrade her to "girlfriend". So what does she learn at the end?


I don't know if i could pull it off but if i ever was in this situation (i often say i probably wouldn't get married in the first place but you never know...) and we seperated because of her and then begged to comeback, i'd probably still divorce her. then if she's still begging to comeback, i'd take her back as my girlfriend and make her pay me back whatever she took in the divorce as a sign of good faith. Those would be my terms and she either accepts them or moves on and she better be happy i give her the time of day. and if i see she's sincere, i'd build from that point. Plus she'd be WAY more humble after that and you save on housing with someone you already kinda know. the flipside is that you could never really sleep on the game cause once you slip or have a moment of weakness (and sometimes weakness is caused by external factors, i learned that one the HARD way...) she won't have pity on you just like you didn't have pity on her. When the power goes back to her, her revenge would be epic...it's a cold game and the way to win is not to play...

 

[Turbulent]

Could be, could not be. I just don't want dude to leave his marriage because of what some jaded dudes on a message board are saying. If everyone else in his life is telling him to run away as quickly as possible, then okay, because they actually see his situation from an unbiased perspective. We are only getting one side of things from him, and that's not enough for me to tell him to leave his marriage and talk bad about the mother of his kids.


You act like I'm the only one who told him to keep his family together. Get off my dikk son. Your s/n been followin' behind mine a lil too much lately.

in this case, she is clearly manipulating him. you're saying she will only admit her wrongs if he opens up to her first. If he opens up to her now, all she will learn from the whole thing is that the way to get him to open up is to manipulate. he will only be inviting more manipulation in his life that way and he'll be even more open to it. Opening up to someone showing you exactly how low they'll go to manipulate you, he might as well tie the rope around is neck.

Whether he leaves his wife or stays, that's up to him. But it has nothing to do with messageboard people or whatever. it's about rationally thinking about what's going on, who's playing what role and what their intent/motivation is, what tricks they are using etc. using that info and following your gut. deep down you know what the right move is. All i'm saying is that from what i've read on the posts, my gut is telling me if i was in that situation, i'd leave ASAP and i provided my personal reasoning. that's all it is.

 

[DaChampIsHere]

in this case, she is clearly manipulating him. you're saying she will only admit her wrongs if he opens up to her first. If he opens up to her now, all she will learn from the whole thing is that the way to get him to open up is to manipulate. he will only be inviting more manipulation in his life that way and he'll be even more open to it. Opening up to someone showing you exactly how low they'll go to manipulate you, he might as well tie the rope around is neck.

Whether he leaves his wife or stays, that's up to him. But it has nothing to do with messageboard people or whatever. it's about rationally thinking about what's going on, who's playing what role and what their intent/motivation is, what tricks they are using etc. using that info and following your gut. deep down you know what the right move is. All i'm saying is that from what i've read on the posts, my gut is telling me if i was in that situation, i'd leave ASAP and i provided my personal reasoning. that's all it is.

Maybe, may be not breh.

I think you are too focused on "teaching someone a lesson" and not a marriage. From the things I've seen Steve post on here, he's not all innocent in the ordeal. Not gonna rehash old things, but certain things he's posted have given me the impression that he has been happier about the prospect of the single lifestyle for a lot longer than when he and his wife actually finalized their decision to divorce.

 

[ProfessionallyTrill]

Just read this entire thread

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

mafukkas in here typing novellas giving marriage advice and aint had one successful relationship

dudes just want to read their own bullshyt

 

[Buckeye Fever]

she wants to get back with you BUT says this?

Women are a fukkin' trip.

My attitude would be on some shyt.

 

[Seea]

it's twisted logic.

if you get back with her or if you open up to her at this point, you will just be teaching her that manipulation is the way to go if she wants you to open up.

Excellent point.

 

[Turbulent]

Maybe, may be not breh.

I think you are too focused on "teaching someone a lesson" and not a marriage. From the things I've seen Steve post on here, he's not all innocent in the ordeal. Not gonna rehash old things, but certain things he's posted have given me the impression that he has been happier about the prospect of the single lifestyle for a lot longer than when he and his wife actually finalized their decision to divorce.

You misinterpret the way i use "teach". i don't mean it like he should hold a grudge or have his revenge. Matter of fact i'm against holding grudges because it's self-inflicted mental poison.

When i say teach, i mean it in the sense that you teach people on how to treat you in the future. it's cause and effect. If she's being manipulative, he sees she's being manipulative and he rewards this behavior by opening up, she learns that when it comes to Steve Piffler, getting him to open up can be achieved through manipulation. You definitely don't want to teach that to ANYONE (let alone your wife). He should only open up to her when she's truly sincere and honest (and it would be clear in his gut and intuition). That way, you teach her that to get Steve Piffler to open up, you have to be sincere, honest and humble (and not do it as a tactic/strategy). THAT's what you want to teach people when it comes to how to treat you (and even then you should be careful.)

What good is a marriage if it's founded on games and manipulations?

 

[ThugLife]

You should starting beating her again, that'll maker her go away. :bama:

 

[Buckeye Fever]

Once a broad starts talkin' that "I will find somebody who will want to be with me" shyt, it's a wrap. I mean, you can stay with her if you want, but if you do, just remember that statement and keep it in your mind everytime u out in public and you see a bad bytch you wanna fukk so u wont feel any guilt when you smash that p*ssy