So what is wrong with settling?

[Remote]

Everyone thinks that it's stupid to "settle" for something or someone in a relationship.

But really, why is that?
Are people too narcissistic? Do people have an unrealistic view of themselves and think they deserve the best of the best?

How do you define "settling" anyway?

I mean if you would be happy with the Camry, are you gonna keep riding the bike until you can afford the Benz?



Just asking questions to stir discussion.
@Emperor_ReinScarf

 

[onelastdeath]

Because most of the people who "settle" aren't happy. Which is why its called settling in the first place. There's a difference between happiness and "just getting by". If you know you aren't happy with someone, it only creates potential for problems at a later time.

Also, if you "settle" you might be wasting someone else time, time that they could have used to be with someone who actually appreciates them and is genuinely happy with them. Someone who they are actually compatible with.

You take the girl/guy because they're "safe" and "financially stable" and not because you actually love them, you might realize later in life that it isn't what you want, and in the end you only end up wasting someone's time. That's the problem with settling. On both ends.

The truth always surfaces eventually.

"Settling" isn't always physical anyway. I personally won't date someone unless I'm actually compatible with them. I've always been the guy with girlfriends who aren't as "attractive" as some people would think I would be with. And I don't even think of myself that highly, it's just what I've been told.

In my experience, "settling" for me would have been dating some of the dimes when in reality we shared nothing in common but physical attraction for eachother. I need more, and a lot of people do. There's no exact definition of "settling", it differs between people and their what their ideal definition of beauty is.

 

[beanz]

i think its ok to settle when it comes to looks. we all want that 10 whether its a guy chasing an amber rose look alike or a female looking for that william levy look alike. we all gotta realize that looks fade anyway.

but deeper than that it isnt good to settle. for example if u want a man with good morals and values but settle for the dude who is "mostly ok besides the occasional heroin use and kleptomania but at least he sexy" then u lost.

 

[Black Magisterialness]

"Settle" and "Satisfied" are two different things. This is where most people fail.

 

[Ronnie Lott]

Settling is essentially accepting mediocrity. You are basically being lazy and are forcing yourself to "like" something that you don't want/like.

 

[Remote]

Because most of the people who "settle" aren't happy. Which is why its called settling in the first place. There's a difference between happiness and "just getting by". If you know you aren't happy with someone, it only creates potential for problems at a later time.

Also, if you "settle" you might be wasting someone else time, time that they could have used to be with someone who actually appreciates them and is genuinely happy with them. Someone who they are actually compatible with.

You take the girl/guy because they're "safe" and "financially stable" and not because you actually love them, you might realize later in life that it isn't what you want, and in the end you only end up wasting someone's time. That's the problem with settling. On both ends.

The truth always surfaces eventually.

"Settling" isn't always physical anyway. I personally won't date someone unless I'm actually compatible with them. I've always been the guy with girlfriends who aren't as "attractive" as some people would think I would be with. And I don't even think of myself that highly, it's just what I've been told.

In my experience, "settling" for me would have been dating some of the dimes when in reality we shared nothing in common but physical attraction for eachother. I need more, and a lot of people do. There's no exact definition of "settling", it differs between people and their what their ideal definition of beauty is.

So do you think most people are not settling?

Because if most people are not settling, how do we explain these high divorce rates?
Wouldn't the divorces be somewhat indicative of people settling and sacrificing happiness?

 

[Remote]

Settling is essentially accepting mediocrity. You are basically being lazy and are forcing yourself to "like" something that you don't want/like.

Aren't most people average (mediocre) though?

Or maybe you're on that

 

[Blackout]

Settling for a person who has a crappy personality is the only bad thing to me.

 

[Solo ✧✦✧]

I don't think it's always about being unrealistic or entitled to the best without earning it. Sometimes it is, but in my case it's about wanting something you can be happy with and proud of instead of simply being content with. Settling for me is about being content rather than happy.

Just taking what you can get in a relationship is bizarre to me and shows desperation in my opinion. When people mention not settling and wanting a certain caliber it's not always about looks and getting a "dime". For me it's about getting a girl who I think looks great to me. Not decent, but great. I also need to like their personality instead of simply being able to stand them. Some people are fine with being with someone who looks ok, but has a nice personality, but I need both to be great. Looking great to me also doesn't mean being a dime to everyone else, but I have to think they look great. A girl who I think looks pretty and has great chemistry with me is enough for me to be happy.

 

[MercuryHayes]

There's a certain respect I have for someone who "doesn't settle" Some people actually care about having someone on their level physically with the idea of someone having a quality personality being a given for the whole thing. Some folk solely are fine with a good personality are the ones cheating/getting cheated on a higher level.

There's a period though where you get tired of the shyt and make a decision on 1 with a lingering 2 or 3 in the cut

 

[Diondon]

"Settle" and "Satisfied" are two different things. This is where most people fail.

Exactly. Especially people that have long requirement lists.
Most nikkas be like she aint a model but she cool, respectful and caters to ya boy. I can rock with this.
That aint settling.

 

[Ashley Banks]

Everyone thinks that it's stupid to "settle" for something or someone in a relationship.

But really, why is that?
Are people too narcissistic? Do people have an unrealistic view of themselves and think they deserve the best of the best?

How do you define "settling" anyway?

I mean if you would be happy with the Camry, are you gonna keep riding the bike until you can afford the Benz?



Just asking questions to stir discussion.
@Emperor_ReinScarf

Camry's are amazing cars. They don't get enough credit.

 

[onelastdeath]

So do you think most people are not settling?

Because if most people are not settling, how do we explain these high divorce rates?
Wouldn't the divorces be somewhat indicative of people settling and sacrificing happiness?

Most people are absolutely settling, and the divorce rates are explainable through the mindset of the average American person. Which is ultimate financially flexibility by any means.

Take something like this.

This man is as rich as they come. Is dating a model right now. They get married, they'll probably get divorced.

Is this someone she wants to be with? Who knows. Looking at them, and the mindset of a lot of women, she might want someone who's more attractive, or someone who is more sexually appealing to her. BUT his money will make her stay. And she'll settle for the money.

She'll say " He's not as good looking as I would like, Im not attracted to him, but he's rich and I'll be safe and we'll have kids"

And that's pretty much it. That's how it works today.

 

[Remote]

Most people are absolutely settling, and the divorce rates are explainable through the mindset of the average American person. Which is ultimate financially flexibility by any means.

Take something like this.

This man is as rich as they come. Is dating a model right now. They get married, they'll probably get divorced.

Is this someone she wants to be with? Who knows. Looking at them, and the mindset of a lot of women, she might want someone who's more attractive, or someone who is more sexually appealing to her. BUT his money will make her stay. And she'll settle for the money.

She'll say " He's not as good looking as I would like, Im not attracted to him, but he's rich and I'll be safe and we'll have kids"

And that's pretty much it. That's how it works today.

 

[At30wecashout]

What settles to the bottom of the pan when you fry breaded Tilapia or chicken?

When you don't shake orange juice before serving it, the flavor settles on the bottom.

A settlement in a lawsuit or divorce means what? Taking the path of least resistance, and also not getting the most out of
a situation.

For anything in life, if you settle, you accept the most convenient option, which may solve one problem, but usually leads to others.
You can never truly feel fulfilled if instead of options and decisions, you only have arbitrations and accepting what comes to you.

Half the fun of life is striving for better. If you aren't doing that, your life is never truly in your hands. Your fate lies in what
someone else leaves available to you.