Spin: Are women more afraid of approaching than men are?

[Elle Driver]

This the Internet always skeptical. If an online dime say she not getting approached the challenge flag always coming out. That's Internet life but in person you can tell obviously how good she does or doesn't look to know if she lying or not about her looks at least in your opinion.

This too.

Exactly, you wouldn't know whether or not that's actually a 7 or a 10 or even if she never gets approached.

 

[Gold]

Exactly, you wouldn't know whether or not that's actually a 7 or a 10 or even if she never gets approached.

She could drop a pic
I didn't ask her how attractive she was, she supplied that info unsolicited which means that she felt that it was pertinent to her situation.

You know i'm being completely rational.

 

[Elle Driver]

She could drop a pic
I didn't ask her how attractive she was, she supplied that info unsolicited which means that she felt that it was pertinent to her situation.

You know i'm being completely rational.

I just found it funny.

 

[Raava]

Blame comes in when things go wrong. Few poeple look at themselves. But when folks play a lesser role, they are even less likely to look at themselves.

If a dud tries to holla, what do many women say to their friends? Ain't no men in here. Ugly dudes always tryin' to holla. The men in here are lame. Why don't men know how to approach women? Etc.

Turn that around. You holla at a dude or 2. Duds. Because you were more active, you now have to analyze yourself. What are you attracted to? Where are you when you meet all these duds? And so on. If you're on top of it and honest, you make changes.

And that's just the duds. What happens when you holla at what you perceive as a good dude and he doesn't bite? "Damn! He was smart, funny, etc. Why didn't he ask for my number?" Again, you have to analyze yourself. "Did he not think I was smart? Did he think I lacked a sense of humor?" We (men) do this all the time and make adjustments. Women don't, or only seem to do it regardin' their looks hopin' that will get more men to approach. And you're relyin' on a single trait to attract men.

I only mention motive to point out why we can get away with what we get away with. Gettin' laid is easy. Findin' a quality mate is more difficult, and the stakes are higher. With the assumption that women tend to look for more than just sex, the stakes are always higher for women. Why leave that up to the men that are willin' to approach? You wouldn't use that mindset in any other aspect of your life. For example, if you want a good job, you don't sit around hopin' & wishin'. You don't wait for "work from home" email blast. You put together the best resume you can and "approach" employers.

And again, don't forget the opportunity cost.

You are missing it. That blame can happen either way. If she approaches she can still say to her friends "I told you their are no good men, I even tried approach and their aren't." Dudes say the same thing about women. This is your narrative, women don't take respondsibility or want to and that is why they don't approach. Women make excuses and won't some one to blame etc... People rarely want to blame themselves as you said. Being the approacher or approachee (lol) won't change that. Again you can be active without cold approaching. Women get rejected everyday its not about the cost. You can be in control of your life and love life and not cold approach men. No other aspect of my life is like dating and love. Men and women go about things differently and that is a big portion of why things are the way they are. You can't dismiss motives and how it would be if roles were reverved. It has nothing to do with me being paid the same for the same job. It has nothing to do with me being able take care of myself.

I can only speak for myself. When I don't get approached I internalize it. I am active in seeking someone when I want to be. I do agree, as I said before, if someone keeps doing something one way and it hadn't worked they need to try something new. We can agree to disagree.

 

[emerald]

im not afraid of rejection. its a great life lesson because i get to find out why some of the guys i'm attracted to, aren't attracted to me and its not always a bad thing.

 

[Raava]

Yea
It is perceived totally differently when its a woman doing the approaching. Women don't want to get labeled as desperate, aggressive, non feminine/ladylike or just in need of a casual sexual fix.

Assuming a more cold approach type situation :

People want to ignore this though. Same people talking about approaching will look at a woman negatively. A poster has already said dudes assume she wants sex.

 

[Gold]

im not afraid of rejection. its a great life lesson because i get to find out why some of the guys i'm attracted to, aren't attracted to me and its not always a bad thing.

Hold this rep.... but.....

How you gonna wife a nikka with no testicals?

 

[Sane]

The times I have, the dudes just assumed I wanted to fukk.

Nothing wrong with that
How do you usually approach a guy?

 

[Dwolf]

You are missing it. That blame can happen either way. If she approaches she can still say to her friends "I told you their are no good men, I even tried approach and their aren't." Dudes say the same thing about women. This is your narrative, women don't take respondsibility or want to and that is why they don't approach. Women make excuses and won't some one to blame etc... People rarely want to blame themselves as you said. Being the approacher or approachee (lol) won't change that. Again you can be active without cold approaching. Women get rejected everyday its not about the cost. You can be in control of your life and love life and not cold approach men. No other aspect of my life is like dating and love. Men and women go about things differently and that is a big portion of why things are the way they are. You can't dismiss motives and how it would be if roles were reverved. It has nothing to do with me being paid the same for the same job. It has nothing to do with me being able take care of myself.

I can only speak for myself. When I don't get approached I internalize it. I am active in seeking someone when I want to be. I do agree, as I said before, if someone keeps doing something one way and it hadn't worked they need to try something new. We can agree to disagree.

*there

 

[Raava]

If you put yourself out there and get rejected dudes will question how you look. Matter fact it was @The Wave and some other dudes questioning if OP in the other thread was really a 7. But that was the reverse, she wasn't approaching dudes at all but my point still stands.

People want things to be one way, but there are still double standards that make it the other. Plus their are women who approach too so I don't get the big deal.

 

[Raava]

*there

neg

 

[emerald]

Hold this rep.... but.....

How you gonna wife a nikka with no testicals?

BECAUSE THAT'S BAE

 

[Neuromancer]

People want to ignore this though. Same people talking about approaching will look at a woman negatively. A poster has already said dudes assume she wants sex.

You know this how?

 

[Dwolf]

neg

You're welcome.

 

[O.T.I.S.]

I don't. I don't want to be rejected, men are used to it lol.

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Pretty much most of their thought processes