I wish they would just admit that instead of fronting
Spin: Are women more afraid of approaching than men are?
- Thread starter Neuromancer
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Yeah I need receipts. I look at women who approach as women who know what they want.
Its 2016, not 1616
Not like brehs are out there saying "What foul manner of wench wouldst openly approach a wer
?"
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awkwardblackgirl
Shakara
Nothing wrong with that
How do you usually approach a guy?
Idk I just wave and say hi, how you doing etc etc
Maybe, but you're thinkin' with a wait & hope mindset. You don't take initiative in the act, so your mindset is one way. If you took more initiative, you might analyze the interaction differerently.
Check the OP in this thread. OP didn't ask what she could do. She ask what's wrong with men.
Difference is we analyze ourselves all the time. When we strike out, sure, initally we may lash out at women. But believe me, we make adjustments. We analyze our approach. Sure, we think about if she simply wasn't attracted to our look. But we ask, "Did she think I was corny? Not funny? Not smart? Should I have been more aggressive? Was I too aggressive? I wasn't feelin' very confident. Did she see that? And so on.
You've said women are active without cold apprachin' but haven't said how.
And when I mention cost, I'm not talkin' about the cost of rejection. I'm talkin' about opportunity cost. While you're doin' one thing, you can't be doin' another. In other words, while the man you weren't even thinkin' about is puttin' his bid in, you can't be talkin' to the man you had your eye on.
If you only interact with men that approach you, your control is limited. You can only select from the men that selected you. You have no access to the men that don't approach you. And don't make the mistake thinkin' that he didn't approach because he wasn't interested.
No aspect of your life is like datin' because you make it that way. Women didn't work, like men, until they did. Women won't be paid equally until they force the issue. These things are/were approached differently by men & women until they aren't/weren't. For example, studies show that women don't negotiate salaries like men. Might that be ONE of the reasons women are not paid equally? You won't know until you try negotiatin' harder, like a man.
I'm not dismissin' motives. I'm sayin' they're another reason why women should take more control. We put a lot of weight on looks. So women get approached, for the most part, based on looks. Waitin' to get approached only inspires you to work on your look... or blame men for allowin' IG models to skew their expectations. What about all those other traits you have? Why not use those to attract men instead of relyin' soley on looks. Sure, we put a lot of weight on them, but the man you want, I hope, is lookin' for more. Why not put those qualities on display? Why leave it up to us to approach you to find out these qualities are there?
And yes, our initial motive tends to be to get laid. But unless we're absolutely not lookin' for more, we're also tryin' to find out if we like you along the way. Puttin' those other qualities on display initially can speed the process. It can turn a no chance for interaction situation into a love connection. That man may not have approached you for any number or reasons. But because you took the initiative...
Internalize it how? What do you have to go on other than men weren't attracted to you?
Active how?
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O.T.I.S.
Veteran
From whoI'm just shy
Plus I was always told that guys will think you're a hoe. So I guess it's a good thing I'm too shy to do it.
I don't mind, it would be nice to not have to do the approaching all the time, but just because you do more than passively approach a guy doesn't mean you are a hoe.
Not that I've ever heard of.
As long as you're not pushy or something (like some nikkas be
) then I don't see it as a bad thing.Women really don't understand how hard it is to read passive aggressive signals..
She smiles? Ok, she could just be "friendly"
She's looking at you? Ok, she could be daydreaming, think you're funny looking, think you're cute but still not interested
I get looks at the gym that could be taken as flirting but I let that shyt ride. She has to literally come up to me and start a conversation but that's never going to happen
Ashley Banks
All I ever wanted was the world
From who
I don't mind, it would be nice to not have to do the approaching all the time, but just because you do more than passively approach a guy doesn't mean you are a hoe.
Not that I've ever heard of.
As long as you're not pushy or something (like some nikkas be
Women really don't understand how hard it is to read passive aggressive signals..
She smiles? Ok, she could just be "friendly"
She's looking at you? Ok, she could be daydreaming, think you're funny looking, think you're cute but still not interested
I get looks at the gym that could be taken as flirting but I let that shyt ride. She has to literally come up to me and start a conversation but that's never going to happen
I've heard guys say it, they said you're just "giving your p*ssy to them" so it makes it easier for the guy to smash and dash because he didn't have to work for it.
emerald
Mother Earth
The bolded is plenty for an approach... trust me
The times I have, the dudes just assumed I wanted to fukk.
It depends on your approach.
O.T.I.S.
Veteran
philmonroe
Superstar
Excuse life mafia in full effect
O.T.I.S.
Veteran
Well that's usually how I approach women (minus the waving
) try to have a convo and eventually slide them my phone.What was you thinking
Approachin' a man is not the same as offerin' sex. Barrin' rape, a man can't take what you don't give. And he still has to put in as much work as you demand, up to the point he's willin'.
