SPIN: Do you keep your guard up when in a relationship?

[Ms.CuriousCat]

That LSA thread was too deep, first off can't image there are people who are that cruel however secondly when you think about it, it's only when you get really comfortable and really let your guard down that someone can get into that space and cause that kind of damage.

@Emperor_ReinScarf would be the first to warn against letting your vulnerabilities show, in fact I am sure you did in that thread


But then....can you have a real relationship if you keep your guard up? My friend says that you should still keep some mystery in marriage (she's single). But still not waxing your legs in front of your SO is not the same as never really opening up to them

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

My friend says that you should still keep some mystery in marriage (she's single).

Has she ever been married

Theres levels to it but ultimately if u dont feel comfortable keeping it 100% with someone or trusting someone (within reason) u shouldnt be with them.

 

[Dwolf]

That LSA thread was too deep, first off can't image there are people who are that cruel however secondly when you think about it, it's only when you get really comfortable and really let your guard down that someone can get into that space and cause that kind of damage.

@Emperor_ReinScarf would be the first to warn against letting your vulnerabilities show, in fact I am sure you did in that thread


But then....can you have a real relationship if you keep your guard up? My friend says that you should still keep some mystery in marriage (she's single). But still not waxing your legs in front of your SO is not the same as never really opening up to them

 

[MikelArteta]

That LSA thread was too deep, first off can't image there are people who are that cruel however secondly when you think about it, it's only when you get really comfortable and really let your guard down that someone can get into that space and cause that kind of damage.

@Emperor_ReinScarf would be the first to warn against letting your vulnerabilities show, in fact I am sure you did in that thread


But then....can you have a real relationship if you keep your guard up? My friend says that you should still keep some mystery in marriage (she's single). But still not waxing your legs in front of your SO is not the same as never really opening up to them

It's not hard to imagine because people are that cruel, many people are selfish at their core.


Secondly all that love like you never loved before is jargon after a heart attack do you continue to eat the same, live life the same you did before? or do you adapt?

I never said keep your guard up, I said to be wiser. Check up on your investments , go with your gut if you feel that something is amiss, never be so caught up that you can't walk out that door and not look back

As well I mentioned about sharing your insecurities, even the bible says Do not trust a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend. Even with the woman who lies in your embrace guard the words of your lips.

and it goes for both genders

 

[Smoke]

Yep, I've developed the ability to keep people just close enough that they don't feel like I have my guard up, but just far enough away that if they fukked me over somehow it wouldn't bother me too much.

It's kinda a double edge sword tho because although no one can really hurt me, I don't feel like I could really put my all into a person even if I felt they deserved it.

 

[Suicide King]

Just be smart.

No one is foul out of the blue.

My guard is usually down, because I don't deal with low lives.

No one can do anything so bad to me that it would shake me up.

 

[Easy-E]

My friend says that you should still keep some mystery in marriage (she's single).

Exactly.

 

[MikelArteta]

Yep, I've developed the ability to keep people just close enough that they don't feel like I have my guard up, but just far enough away that if they fukked me over somehow it wouldn't bother me too much.

It's kinda a double edge sword tho because although no one can really hurt me, I don't feel like I could really put my all into a person even if I felt they deserved it.

thats the way it should be

 

[Scuti]

mystery in marriage

 

[TooLazyToMakeUp1]

I never let anybody inside my head and I share what I want to share.It's not a guard, it's just maintaining privacy. I don't like to burden anyone else with my shyt

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

Secondly all that love like you never loved before is jargon after a heart attack do you continue to eat the same, live life the same you did before? or do you adapt?

Sure, you can learn from past experiences, but there's a difference between that and carrying unneccessary emotional baggage and putting up barriers because of fear.

Plus often times when people are living foul they are pretty brazen with it. Everybody knows somebody who stuck with someone foul and ignored all the obvious signs out of fear of making tough decisions and being alone.

There's def a balance, but the general consensus here is too far in the direction of suspicion and barriers IMO. nikkas get their heart broken once and think it's the end of the world.

 

[iBrowse]

Sure, you can learn from past experiences, but there's a difference between that and carrying unneccessary emotional baggage and putting up barriers because of fear.

Plus often times when people are living foul they are pretty brazen with it. Everybody knows somebody who stuck with someone foul and ignored all the obvious signs out of fear of making tough decisions and being alone.

There's def a balance, but the general consensus here is too far in the direction of suspicion and barriers IMO. nikkas get their heart broken once and think it's the end of the world.

 

[Elle Driver]

Put your guard down but keep your wits about you.

 

[MikelArteta]

Sure, you can learn from past experiences, but there's a difference between that and carrying unneccessary emotional baggage and putting up barriers because of fear.

Plus often times when people are living foul they are pretty brazen with it. Everybody knows somebody who stuck with someone foul and ignored all the obvious signs out of fear of making tough decisions and being alone.

There's def a balance, but the general consensus here is too far in the direction of suspicion and barriers IMO. nikkas get their heart broken once and think it's the end of the world.

of course, but you become wiser, only a fool doesn't use the knowledge they gained.

If in your last relationship, your woman was getting distant, busy all the time and your gut was telling you something was up but you did nothing then you get burned

the next time around thanks to the wisdom and experience you will most likely take a different approach

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

of course, but you become wiser, only a fool doesn't use the knowledge they gained.

If in your last relationship, your woman was getting distant, busy all the time and your gut was telling you something was up but you did nothing then you get burned

the next time around thanks to the wisdom and experience you will most likely take a different approach

OK yea this is sound advice.

On the flip side though people def shouldn't let previous bad experiences prevent them from enjoying good new ones. People def do that a lot, men and women.