Being considerate and checking in with someone, plus "reading the moment" goes a long way. If she isn't good, I'm not good. Many men think of sex as a one way street, once they are cleared, the road is theirs, but it's an interactive experience, with both people involved.
Also, gender stuff, and communication is a big part of it, read up on low context vs high context communication, much of sex is high context, for a reason, because people are uncomfortable saying "I want to have sex with you, whats the best way we can do this"? Kissing someone's neck is much more to the point, but may not be welcome.
To be fair, men are not taught healthy approaches to sex at all, and by the time you are in you teens, it is totally toxic, from the "fukking hoes" mentality, to the music, it's all bad.