Spin: Younger Brehs what do you feel older brehs don't understand about modern dating and why it's become so difficult?

Macallik86

Macallik86

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Great conversation being had in here.

I'm in my late 30s and definitely appreciate how much has changed in the past decade. I just wanted to remind some of the younger crowd, that it wasn't 'better' back in the day, just different. Is it better to compete w/ the entire internet or be limited to women within a 5-10 mile radius? Is it better to have women try to show value by twerking on IG or better to have women trying to show how pure they are by thinking that giving head is beneath them?

It's a different ball game out here for, sure, but I would caution against glorifying a different era. Even back in the day, there a subsection of guys who excelled at dating thanks to good genes or just grinding and putting in the effort at getting better. I believe that if they were exposed to the same manosphere/pop the balloon trash, there would be a lot more lost older brehs too.

The two pieces of advice that I would give are:
  1. Frame your perspective based on lived experiences instead of social media: Too often I see inexperienced men suggest that the strippers/escorts on a manosphere podcasts are really how all women think as if they do not have sisters/mothers/female cousins living normal lives with normal morals.
  2. Take responsibility for meeting the type of women you are interested in: If you know what type of woman you are looking, you should regularly be asking yourself whether you are likely to find her with your current location/strategy. There's nuance to all this shyt that come with experience. For example, are you more interested in the woman at the club or the woman at Target? But also, if you are at the club, the club you choose will bring out different types of women and the nuance can go deeper still... The women hanging at the bar are likely on a different type of time than the women posted up on the dancefloor, which might be different from the women sticking to the VIP area, which might be different from the women who arrived at 10pm because they plan on leaving early to get a full night's sleep.

It's all about knowing what you like + then knowing what they like + knowing where & how to meet them. It's a lot of effort initially but builds experience, puts the odds in your favor and surrounds you with people who think like you do.
 
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cyndaquil

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RickyDiBiase said:
But the thing is

you can't go through life expecting people to kiss and coddle you dude

that's not how that shyt works. A bytch will have a field day with a dude like that.

And yes

A lot of people aren't "good enough" but here's the thing- why the fukk would you ever allow that to stop you from getting what you want out of life? We're not just talking getting a piece of p*ssy, across the board, why would you ever take heed to the fact of your imperfections and deny your chance at carving out anything substantial in your day to day life?

It's dude's in wheelchairs who ain't letting bullshyt like "height" stop them from getting what they want.

I can think of a multitude of brothers from their 20's-40's in my immediate area that ain't Johnathan Majors but got a woman holding shyt down for them.

That's why young dudes get clown

no backbone, no sense of self-responsibility and no sense of fukking imagination

A woman is not the end all be all there is for a man, and vice versa. It's not a guaranteed right, it's a privilege to be with someone.

And to wipe away any sense of personal reflection or responsibility for them is doing them a major disservice.
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You're looking at it again from the standpoint of "these young guys are lazy and wanna be coddled" rather than "these young guys don't understand the right way to do things and need guidance" it's two different things. We aren't just talking about people who gave up.

We are also talking about young people who are having difficulties. And I agree with you in the sense that they lack courage. But they are being assaulted via social media left and right to tell them they aren't good enough.

The self reflection would let them see that they can delete the apps and live life irl but why not provide that wisdom and guidance rather than berating them for not knowing? The statistics are there. It's warping young people's brains.

We need to encourage them to go out, go party, go fukk around with the bros, even amongst my friend group one of my homies was complaining that our other friends aren't active enough. I agreed. Dudes be collecting pokemon cards, watching anime, playing computer games, looking at ig baddies 24/7. Aint nothing wrong with those things inherently but you gotta get up and do other things. I think on both sides people are way too comfortable now and comfort breeds cowardice.
 
Neuromancer

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cyndaquil said:
It sucks because pre-relationship, pre-pandemic I always had a group of guys to go out to places with and get at chicks or just hangout with. I'm older now almost 30 but wfh M-F. Work starts at 8 im up at 5 an Im in the gym for real so that eats up 2 hours in the morning. I get off work barely 3 hours to myself. Before I gotta sleep.

I get most of my groceries delivered in bulk from Costco (free delivery, all you pay for is tip and it has in warehouse pricing). Get some little shyt here and there from the grocery store and even that can be delivered if I'm willing to pay more etc. But thats usually on the weekends cuz my shyt is prepped for the week. Yall didnt have that before. During the week you'd have to leave the house for something after work we don't have to. Online shopping and food delivery got us with free shipping. This applies to women too.

There's so much convenience now that practically allows you to savs time and avoid people. Weekends are the main time to meet women now but if your hobbies are gaming and watching YouTube and ig videos at the crib your only options are the apps. But this ain't tinder from 2016, this ain't tagged from 2012. These apps are mainstream and the companies behind them want you to pay so they'll algorithmically make it as hard as possible for you to find a match. This is why apps should be background noise while you actually attempt to meet in real life. This handles M-F while bars, events on the weekends that interest you handle the rest. Brehs like @Ohene and @Apollo Creed have already figured this out. But its not a common understanding among the under 30 crowd.

But most young men aren't in the same position they have time to go meet women and when they see people the don't interact socially and be on the game plus listen to online red pill people telling them they gotta "looks max" and that women are only fukking supermodel looking men. So they rely on the apps and then get on there and tell lies so the genuine women are extra cautious now too. Go into gaming spaces online and it's filled with the shyt. The most popular hobby among young men is gaming. Go figure.
Click to expand...
Have you tried speed dating?
 
RickyDiBiase

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cyndaquil said:
You're looking at it again from the standpoint of "these young guys are lazy and wanna be coddled" rather than "these young guys don't understand the right way to do things and need guidance" it's two different things. We aren't just talking about people who gave up.

We are also talking about young people who are having difficulties. And I agree with you in the sense that they lack courage. But they are being assaulted via social media left and right to tell them they aren't good enough.

The self reflection would let them see that they can delete the apps and live life irl but why not provide that wisdom and guidance rather than berating them for not knowing? The statistics are there. It's warping young people's brains.

We need to encourage them to go out, go party, go fukk around with the bros, even amongst my friend group one of my homies was complaining that our other friends aren't active enough. I agreed. Dudes be collecting pokemon cards, watching anime, playing computer games, looking at ig baddies 24/7. Aint nothing wrong with those things inherently but you gotta get up and do other things. I think on both sides people are way too comfortable now and comfort breeds cowardice.
Click to expand...

And guess whose doing the former?

the very same podcast/redpill babel fukk they gravitate towards.

Women have always gave out their issues about men

whether legitimate, out of proportion or exaggerated

The thing is, a young boy can now be exposed to some chick's shortcomings with men, but not given or put into a frame of context where they get the whole ordeal as it were.

It's no different than the days of Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage, Tom Lyekis

Same shyt, different a$$hole.

And what people fail to realize is: You can't inherently teach someone how to succeed in dating and meeting women. Not to say it's not worthwhile or futile, but that requires the other party to want it to happen for themselves. Liking the idea of something will get you nowhere. And you can't expect a broad to lower her expectations to a man who has no sense of vision.

We see that as it is currently and how that's working out.
 
T

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Actually some of the discourse and conflict here is also part of the disconnection we have now. In reality, you can’t have great discourse between an older guy and younger guy on this subject online. It’s to nuanced and both sides aren’t likely to communicate effectively.
 
Neuromancer

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The ADD said:
Actually some of the discourse and conflict here is also part of the disconnection we have now. In reality, you can’t have great discourse between an older guy and younger guy on this subject online. It’s to nuanced and both sides aren’t likely to communicate effectively.
Click to expand...
That's true. Gotta have it in person.
 
cyndaquil

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RickyDiBiase said:
And guess whose doing the former?

the very same podcast/redpill babel fukk they gravitate towards.

Women have always gave out their issues about men

whether legitimate, out of proportion or exaggerated

The thing is, a young boy can now be exposed to some chick's shortcomings with men, but not given or put into a frame of context where they get the whole ordeal as it were.

It's no different than the days of Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage, Tom Lyekis

Same shyt, different a$$hole.

And what people fail to realize is: You can't inherently teach someone how to succeed in dating and meeting women. Not to say it's not worthwhile or futile, but that requires the other party to want it to happen for themselves. Liking the idea of something will get you nowhere. And you can't expect a broad to lower her expectations to a man who has no sense of vision.

We see that as it is currently and how that's working out.
Click to expand...
Yep the grifters are taking advantage of these young men. It's a combo of men listening to what women say they want and listening to these grifters tell them they aren't good enough and how to get better. Being good with women comes down to time and experience and finding your lane. But they get their advice and views from places like reddit and YouTube, ig and tiktok.
 
Capitol

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Old Heads don't understand that we live in a world where I can order anything to the house. I'm just waiting for the app to order waifus. I don't know about this dating shyt at all :camby:
 
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