Stop comparing ourselves to White people when it comes to marriage.
- Thread starter ShaneTheRogue
- Start date
Are y'all intelligent and brave enough to engage in an actual debate? Because these irreverent responses are only emboldening me.
Im a guy that likes to think and challenge my beliefs because when you do that you're either gonna change your opinion to a better one or strengthen your belief in the original opinion. Either you're improved as a person.
I'm willing to change my mind on practically any belief I hold. If it means so much to y'all to personally attack me then why don't you try changing my mind or the minds of people who may agree with me?
Kingofthereal
King of kings
Black folks gonna always make excuses to why they ain’t getting married lol this whole thread is pretty much excuses.
I understand taking your time to find that person but if you and that woman or man rocking together five or more years! there’s no cheating and you’re happy why not get married?
The truth is people want to keep shyt open for somebody else to step in if shyt doesn’t go the way they want it to. I may be wrong though… too many black folks wanna play house but not fully commit. I actually fell like shyt for making my wife wait ten years to get married. I wish I would’ve done it sooner since she deserved me doing that.
I will also say this, some of these women are raised by women that shyt on marriage. They may act like they don’t want it but deep down they do. That’s when communication with your partner comes into play.
I understand taking your time to find that person but if you and that woman or man rocking together five or more years! there’s no cheating and you’re happy why not get married?
The truth is people want to keep shyt open for somebody else to step in if shyt doesn’t go the way they want it to. I may be wrong though… too many black folks wanna play house but not fully commit. I actually fell like shyt for making my wife wait ten years to get married. I wish I would’ve done it sooner since she deserved me doing that.
I will also say this, some of these women are raised by women that shyt on marriage. They may act like they don’t want it but deep down they do. That’s when communication with your partner comes into play.
What is it do you think you're proving? This chart doesn't say whether or not the parents are active in raising the children. Which is what's most important and the primary basis of my argument. And who to say those unmarried cohabitatiors wouldn't end up splitting up to begin with.
Postings graphs alone isn't enough. Like I said stats aren't the whole story
get these nets
Veteran
Listen, marriage obviously isn't for you. You have to see that intact nuclear families form the foundation of stable communities.
Not much to argue or debate.
My whole point is marriages are more stable. I posted a graph showing marriages with children are 3 TIMES more stable. You want to talk about if married peiple love their kids more, nobody can prove that.
I skimmed the actual link. Seemed disingenuous. The author says that married parents are less likely to split. Ok but that doesn't mean they shouldn't. Also the stuff about married partners being more educated and higher income earning... correlation does not equal causation. Maybe higher income people are more likely to be married in the 1st place. Besides my main argument is Black relationships specifically. I'd love to see a racial breakdown.
Excuses? Excuses for what? Does the time you spent with your wife prior to being married not count? Sounds like you got married because of obligation more so anything else. What in you and your wife's life has improved since becoming married? I'm genuinely curious.
And I'm glad you brought up the gender stuff...because I anticipate it won't be long until a BW comes into this thread and implies something in the other direction...that the lack of marriage among Black folks is mostly the men's "fault"
Which was my main reason for making this thread. I have been seeing even more bickering among Black men and women on here lately about low marriage rates and who deserves to be bashed for it.
All I'm saying is that this topic isn't worth bashing each other especially considering whom we're comparing ourselves to.
CreepyMcCreeperson
Veteran
The amount of excuses brehs come up with in on this site to avoid accountability, and doing the right thing is pathetic.
Who says it isn't for me? I wouldn't mind getting married. You think I'd be arguing in other threads with fools who say Black women aren't worth marrying for 10 years if I was anti marriage? What I'm against are the negative assumptions made in regards to Black marriage rates.
So what if they're stable? The data says Black men are more likely to raise our kids whether we married or not.
What does the stable marriage argument suppose to imply if not that it's better for the children? What are you getting at then?
And to your last line exactly. A marriage can't prove someone actually loves their partner either. It's often performative I think.
What excuses am I making and what accountability am I advocating to avoid? What's the right thing? Do right by your children, like Black men are proven to do more than anyone, or keeping up appearances? I'm not anti marriage by the way.
Dallas' 4 Eva
Superstar
As a divorced man, fall into that marriage trap if you want to and see what happens. 
Kingofthereal
King of kings
I got married for multiple reasons, because I wanted to, and because she deserved to be my wife and not just my “baby mama” that’s just a few reasons. Love was a factor also. There’s ALOT of reasons why I got married to the person I did also though and not just ANY woman. I’ve been in long relationships that also ended abruptly so me taking long was also due to that.
I won’t sit here and act like getting married was a big drastic shift or something but you also have to take into account me and my wife were happy in almost every part of our relationship before getting married. We’re also both level headed adults that conduct ourselves as such. For us it more so about the commitment we made to each other… we would be fine without getting married it’s just something WE wanted to do and I fell she deserves the title of WIFE and not girlfriend.
I’m also not bashing anybody’s life choices, if they don’t want to get married don’t, but don’t go around trashing people that do want to get married. It’s a two way street, just because someone doesn’t want some thing for their own life doesn’t give anybody the right to trash the next person for making a decision they wouldn’t.
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They eat raw meat and rotten fish tooeuropean cacs in Scandinavia abandoned marriage decades ago. they just have common law/co-parenting now
but you wont see that in the news here
Should we do that too
european cacs in Scandinavia abandoned marriage decades ago. they just have common law/co-parenting now
but you wont see that in the news here
Respectibility politics obsessed Black folks just skipped over this post huh?
The title of your thread says to stop comparing black people to white people. I’m not talking about white people at all, are we all supposed to switch up now?