Stop comparing ourselves to White people when it comes to marriage.

[ObsidianDev]

broke people got tricked into thinking marriage ain’t from them. You don’t find it odd that most rich men get married.

This is the problem in the Black community, always trying to rewrite the playbook when the path to success is plain as day. Every other community is more married than we are and more successful. There is almost and direct correlation.

The fact that so many Black men and women for the past 20+ years have been convinced into supporting things that basically add gasoline into the dumpster fire that is the modern state of the Black "community" is fukking mind-boggling.

As a poster previously mentioned, a lot of us (Black men), have our ego and sense of manhood tied into how many women we can lay up with and in some cases (especially in the projects/low-income neighborhoods) how many offspring we can have.

Marriage means responsibility and accountability both legally and mutually, something that most of the "Pro Black", "militant", "hotep" fringes of the men in our community tend to askew deep-down, whether they're consciously aware of it or not.

Can't live out the "African Chief with multiple 'wives' and children living under the same roof" fantasy as long as the government (i.e. the "White Man") is involved in his affairs (no pun intended).

That Natureboy dude basically formed his cult along those same lines, and we saw how that eventually turned out.

Hell, even WHITE NATIONALISTS urge the importance of marriage as a means to keep families intact and stable.

We're the only minority group who will willingly go online and argue in favor for stances that harm us in the end while letting other groups continue to leapfrog us decade after decade.

Would an increase in marriages in the Black community be the magic elixir that cures all of our ailments? No. But it sure as hell would serve as a painkiller during the healing process going forward.

Sure, many married couples DESPISE each other (certainly in the White community), but they stay together to ensure that their children get a decent start in life by saving for their college funds, helping them get their first car at age 16, etc.

I really don't see how marriage can be argued against for the average man. Keyword: AVERAGE. If a man who's a self-made multimillionaire has qualms about getting married in this day and age (as I would be as well if I had money), that's understandable.

But as long as you prioritize personality and mindset over looks, i.e., the IG model, bbl, breast implant, borderline "treh" look that most guys on this site lust over, you shouldn't run into too much trouble.

I sincerely hope OP isn't over 30 posting that nonsense.

 

[Red Money]

How so? Also are you married?



So liberal people get married more? Also are you suggesting that Black folks get married left because we take marriage more seriously? If so im somewhat inclined to agree.

Yes. Black people take marriage more seriously. I think lot more thought goes into it which leans traditional/conservative.

Black culture is different when it comes to family anyways. Lots of white people in my experiences stay talking about kids being accidents be it unmarried, half siblings, or age gaps between kids etc. When you black all that is a blessing.

 

[Red Money]

The fact that so many Black men and women for the past 20+ years have been convinced into supporting things that basically add gasoline into the dumpster fire that is the modern state of the Black "community" is fukking mind-boggling.

As a poster previously mentioned, a lot of us (Black men), have our ego and sense of manhood tied into how many women we can lay up with and in some cases (especially in the projects/low-income neighborhoods) how many offspring we can have.

Marriage means responsibility and accountability both legally and mutually, something that most of the "Pro Black", "militant", "hotep" fringes of the men in our community tend to askew deep-down, whether they're consciously aware of it or not.

Can't live out the "African Chief with multiple 'wives' and children living under the same roof" fantasy as long as the government (i.e. the "White Man") is involved in his affairs (no pun intended).

That Natureboy dude basically formed his cult along those same lines, and we saw how that eventually turned out.

Hell, even WHITE NATIONALISTS urge the importance of marriage as a means to keep families intact and stable.


Sure, many married couples DESPISE each other (certainly in the White community), but they stay together to ensure that their children get a decent start in life by saving for their college funds, helping them get their first car at age 16, etc.

I really don't see how marriage can be argued against for the average man. Keyword: AVERAGE. If a man who's a self-made multimillionaire has qualms about getting married in this day and age (as I would be as well if I had money), that's understandable.

But as long as you prioritize personality and mindset over looks, i.e., the IG model, bbl, breast implant, borderline "treh" look that most guys on this site lust over, you shouldn't run into too much trouble.

I sincerely hope OP isn't over 30 posting that nonsense.

Grandparents supposed to handle cars and college. You marry the family...so a divorce should not stop the resources.

White grandparents do more than white parents, lol.





IG models are still a small percentage of reality. Every 4 year college has good looking women roaming around that could make six figure within a few years of graduation from a 9-5 career. And in many cases the right school is a visa card with certain jobs upon graduation. Being attractive and having a corporate job are not mutually exclusive.

 

[BaggerofTea]

People need to raise their fukking kids and stop making excuses

 

[Fill Collins]

How's about Black ppl online start worrying about shyt that directly effects them in real life? All these "discussions" are just unhealthy venting that leads nowhere

 

[Fanservice]

It ain’t about a contract. There are far too many broken black families with no father in the house. That shyt is not normal or ideal.

 

[1thouwow]

How so? Also are you married

Yes

 

[CarmelBarbie]

A real issue is that the majority of children all come from the same people. You will have a large percentage of males who don’t have kids who would actually be valuable fathers and willing to stay in the home.

But they aren’t being chosen for that role for a merit of reasons. I’ll be blunt folks are not making responsible decisions with who they sleep with and who they chose to impregnate/get impregnated by.

Source?

Don’t men chose who they marry though? If they want to be fathers and husbands, what is stopping them from being proactive? Y’all can marry WW, LW, AW or go overseas, nothing is stopping a man who wants marriage from finding a wife if it’s a priority.


As for the op, while I understand what he was getting at it, it’s not really practical to look at it that way. If our community was functioning well in spite of low marriage rates, that is one thing… but it’s not, and some of the blame has nothing to do with marriage, but you’d have to be in deep denial to say that single parent and cohabitation are equivalent to the stability and security marriage provides.

I think what’s more interesting is that we have a high divorce rate. And I honestly think the divorce rate and low marriage rate are all caused by the same root—as in people do not know how to have productive, healthy functioning relationships in our community, hence why we don’t have many and why they don’t seem to last long…

 

[F*ckthemkids]

Wait…I just skimmed through the thread, but are some of y’all really advocating for black people avoid marriage and creating a nuclear family structure?

 

[Red Money]

Wait…I just skimmed through the thread, but are some of y’all really advocating for black people avoid marriage and creating a nuclear family structure?

You marry families....not individuals.

 

[NatiboyB]

Wait…I just skimmed through the thread, but are some of y’all really advocating for black people avoid marriage and creating a nuclear family structure?

Makes no damn sense like yeah fukk your families lineage long term just do you. That just do you bs and live free bs doesn’t work if you’re an actual responsible adult. Marriage is an institution forget the love and all of that mess. It’s literally always better long term for your lineage.

I had multiple older neighbors when I was growing up that didn’t even sleep in the same bedroom.

 

[Antwon Mitchell]

Well I agree not just in regards to marriage but a lot of things in general.

I don't “live or die” by stats. A lot of times stats are biased and fail to show the whole picture.

Stats in this country are engineered to show White ppl on top of everything while showing Black ppl at the (or near) bottom of everything and if we are at the top it's usually stats regarding bad shyt.

I don't pay no attention to stats regarding most things in life. More often than not it's used to further agendas, good or bad, and being Black most of these stats want to show us doing bad when believe it or not, we might not be doing that bad as the stats would indicate.

 

[F*ckthemkids]

Makes no damn sense like yeah fukk your families lineage long term just do you. That just do you bs and live free bs doesn’t work if you’re an actual responsible adult. Marriage is an institution forget the love and all of that mess. It’s literally always better long term for your lineage.

I had multiple older neighbors when I was growing up that didn’t even sleep in the same bedroom.

Absolutely. It’s about duty, responsibility and protecting your lineage. That Disney shyt doesn’t exist, and even the best marriages have their shyt. You see it in some of the comments here about needing sex a required amount of times. Only thing keeping their marriage/relationship alive is a dopamine release, when shyt gets real they can’t handle it. I’m not saying sex isn’t important, but if that’s what you’re leading with you’re gonna learn a very expensive lesson.

 

[Taadow]

Just giving personal experience. If you don't have an argument just say that.

My argument was that you're projecting.

 

[ObsidianDev]

Support degeneracy, broken homes, instability, and the lack of a cohesive family unit in order to "spite" the White man, brehs.

Reminds me of when Nick Cannon recently said some shyt about marriage being a "European concept".

Now look at him.