The better family woman: The one who serves her kid(s) food first or serves her hubby first ...

[knl14]

The principle does not still apply because you're not at home. You're in a public eating space

As I said before, most kids that I see out here these days lack discipline and respect for elders, in basically all areas

That kind of thing is instilled(or not instilled judging from these posts) at home

Whoever the disciplinarian is will be seen as the authority figure by the kids in the house, so if the man is away all day working then comes home and isnt the main disciplinarian, the kids just see him as some dude who lives there

Yall can do what yall want with your kids, but it's common knowledge that there's a serious issue with respect to the lack of discipline that a lot of the current youth have. Yall are currently raising these youths so

I witnessed first hand the level of care and concern that my parents had for me

I also witnessed my mom serving my dad AND my grandad before the kids got served

I wouldnt even wanna be in the same room with half of yall, much less get to the point where I wanna discuss child rearing

I'm gonna trust myself and my family over dudes who COULDNT be served first, even if they wanted to be

Where or when did anyone here say that kids and/or families don’t need structure? Or that kids don’t need to be disciplined or respect a fathers role in the home? Your argument was that kids/families need order, structure, discipline...and that by serving (again, acknowledge that in your scenario the man is still being served in the first place) anyone else before the man is necessarily disrespectful and creating disorder in the home—thats simply not true. There are other ways to instill order and respect as an adult in your home that don’t consist of competing with your kids for the first plate.

But you go off.

 

[xCivicx]

Where or when did anyone here say that kids and/or families don’t need structure? Or that kids don’t need to be disciplined or respect a fathers role in the home? Your argument was that kids/families need order, structure, discipline...and that by serving (again, acknowledge that in your scenario the man is still being served in the first place) anyone else before the man is necessarily disrespectful and creating disorder in the home—thats simply not true. There are other ways to instill order and respect as an adult in your home that don’t consist of competing with your kids for the first plate.

But you go off.

Cool

You continue to try and reinvent the wheel

Im gonna stick with what I've seen work

 

[poppastoppa]

The principle does not still apply because you're not at home. You're in a public eating space

As I said before, most kids that I see out here these days lack discipline and respect for elders, in basically all areas

That kind of thing is instilled(or not instilled judging from these posts) at home

Whoever the disciplinarian is will be seen as the authority figure by the kids in the house, so if the man is away all day working then comes home and isnt the main disciplinarian, the kids just see him as some dude who lives there

Yall can do what yall want with your kids, but it's common knowledge that there's a serious issue with respect to the lack of discipline that a lot of the current youth have. Yall are currently raising these youths so

I witnessed first hand the level of care and concern that my parents had for me

I also witnessed my mom serving my dad AND my grandad before the kids got served

I wouldnt even wanna be in the same room with half of yall, much less get to the point where I wanna discuss child rearing

I'm gonna trust myself and my family over dudes who COULDNT be served first, even if they wanted to be

Listen if I wanted to be served first it would happen and ain't nothing nobody in the house could do about it. It would be totally pointless to demand, because everyone knows this so what point am i proving? It has less to do about my wife and more about my kids.

What you are missing is why I choose to do this. It is just another instance where I put my kids before myself. Same thing when we go clothing shopping I get them first and deal with myself after they got everything they need (not want). Same thought process as if the choice was my life or theirs i would give mine.

You guy's huffing and puffing about being served first most likely petty at all kinda things, gonna end up with kids who fear you (or see you as a bully), instead of respecting you. Just my opinion.

I also don't see how a person who is not married or have kids can really justify your stance when you don't have any experience at all. Once you have kids I honestly think you will see things differently, because I don't think you are bad guy, I just don't think you can understand that love you have for your kids (good parents that is).

 

[xCivicx]

Listen if I wanted to be served first it would happen and ain't nothing nobody in the house could do about it. It would be totally pointless to demand, because everyone knows this so what point am i proving? It has less to do about my wife and more about my kids.

What you are missing is why I choose to do this. It is just another instance where I put my kids before myself. Same thing when we go clothing shopping I get them first and deal with myself after they got everything they need (not want). Same thought process as if the choice was my life or theirs i would give mine.

You guy's huffing and puffing about being served first most likely petty at all kinda things, gonna end up with kids who fear you (or see you as a bully), instead of respecting you. Just my opinion.

I also don't see how a person who is not married or have kids can really justify your stance when you don't have any experience at all. Once you have kids I honestly think you will see things differently, because I don't think you are bad guy, I just don't think you can understand that love you have for your kids (good parents that is).

If the bold is the case then we don't disagree

 

[Taadow]

This chit is 7 pages, doe.

 

[silk scarfs]

Who ever get to the kitchen first IDGAF but fukk them like nikkas though

 

[Axolotl]

lmao at fend for yourself like its the zombie apocalypse or somethin.
i feel like OP wanted this to be some black men/family bashing topic (which is why he mentioned race in one of his replies to another poster that he didn't agree with) and for that he can suck a dikk.

how many MEN in here actually are married to a woman and have kids all under one roof anyway? Can't be that many judging by how many dudes jerk each other off in JBO and the male gossip that goes on in TLR.

yup

 

[GreenGhxst]

kids, this ain't the 50's

besides I don't even want a woman to serve me food

I rather get my own food, I know what portions I like

used to hate when my mom used to make my plates as a kid, fukk all that

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

Smh you talk a whole bunch of gibberish on this site

Its not dysfunctional for the HOH to be served first in their house

This goes back to my post about the black community being a matriarchy

Therea clearly A LOT of dysfunction in the community, tied directly to broken non structured homes

But you deflect from that to try and blame the state of the black community on a man wanted to be respected in his own home?

Its clear from this thread that a lot yall actually hate/resent your fathers

Sorry but I love mine

He deserved to get his food first because he x to make sure we even had a place to cook food

This "ego" bs that all keep talking is feminine deflection

But again, this just shows the fundamental lack of respect ACROSS THE BOARD for black men in the black community

In African, asian, middle eastern and even CARIBBEAN(where my family originates) cultures this isnt even a question for the exact OPPOSITE reason that yall are claiming in here

The arrogance in here is ridiculous smh

I didn't lie. I also find it ironic that you call everybody else in here "emotional" but you've been emoting the most in this thread and also deflecting the most. Several posters who have more experience with fatherhood and as husbands have literally logically broken down how foolish you sound because they understand that good relationships require sacrifice and compromise. The only thing u seem to do is insult them or assume they are less masculine. You are just saying a bunch of nothing, getting frustrated b/c you don't have a clue what real mutual respect, love, communication and cooperation look like. And deflecting to the fact that your family is from the Carribean won't save you from looking foolish b/c plenty of those relationships are dysfunctional in the rest of the world too.

Posturing and negligence doesn't yield respect and has nothing to do with what truly goes on in healthy family dynamic. If ur wife has cooked and prepared food for you, and you don't think or offer to fix her some food or help get the kids fed or facilitated an environment where the kids serve both of you when they are older, then you aren't worthy of having a family. Something this mundane shouldn't even be an issue but once again when people feel powerless or impotent some go to extremes over minutia to establish a sense of tenuous control.

Providing establishes respect, demonstrating a strong work ethic establishes respect, spending time with your children, having respect and consideration for your significant other establishes respect. All this shyt goes much further in establishing respect within a cooperative relationship than insisting you get ur plate first.

 

[xCivicx]

I didn't lie. I also find it ironic that you call everybody else in here "emotional" but you've been emoting the most in this thread and also deflecting the most. Several posters who have more experience with fatherhood and as husbands have literally logically broken down how foolish you sound because they understand that good relationships require sacrifice and compromise. The only thing u seem to do is insult them or assume they are less masculine. You are just saying a bunch of nothing, getting frustrated b/c you don't have a clue what real mutual respect, love, communication and cooperation look like. And deflecting to the fact that your family is from the Carribean won't save you from looking foolish b/c plenty of those relationships are dysfunctional in the rest of the world too.

Posturing and negligence doesn't yield respect and has nothing to do with what truly goes on in healthy family dynamic. If ur wife has cooked and prepared food for you, and you don't think or offer to fix her some food or help get the kids fed or facilitated an environment where the kids serve both of you when they are older, then you aren't worthy of having a family. Something this mundane shouldn't even be an issue but once again when people feel powerless or impotent some go to extremes over minutia to establish a sense of tenuous control.

Providing establishes respect, demonstrating a strong work ethic establishes respect, spending time with your children, having respect and consideration for your significant other establishes respect. All this shyt goes much further in establishing respect within a cooperative relationship than insisting you get ur plate first.

Funny how the question in the OP was directed at males yet multiple females who BARELY post felt the need to inject opinions that werent asked for in order to push a certain narrative

Again, you're talking gibberish. You as a female do not know what defines a man PERIOD. You seek out certain traits and HOPE that these traits add up to a man at the end of the day

My respect of the Male head of my household as a child dictates how I will raise my kids if I have any PERIOD.

If you dont understand that then you were never meant to and you probably shouldnt posting about this topic

Go preach that matriarchal bs to someone that cares

Cuz I truly dont.

Most of yall cant spot a healthy relationship in the first place. Who tf do you think you are to criticize a man for wanting structure in HIS house?

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

Funny how the question in the OP was directed at males yet multiple females who BARELY post felt the need to inject opinions that werent asked for in order to push a certain narrative

Again, you're talking gibberish. You as a female do not know what defines a man PERIOD. You seek out certain traits and HOPE that these traits add up to a man at the end of the day

My respect of the Male head of my household as a child dictates how I will raise my kids if I have any PERIOD.

If you dont understand that then you were never meant to and you probably shouldnt posting about this topic

Go preach that matriarchal bs to someone that cares

Cuz I truly dont.

Most of yall cant spot a healthy relationship in the first place. Who tf do you think you to criticize a man for wanting structure in house?

Once again. Emotional. And unreasonable meaningless rhetoric.

If what comes out of the family structure ur touting are individuals incapable of having a conversation without getting incensed all while accusing everybody else of the very same thing ur guilty of, then you aren't making the best case for yourself.

The irony is amazing...lol!

 

[xCivicx]

Once again. Emotional. And unreasonable meaningless rhetoric.

If what comes out of the family structure ur touting are individuals incapable of having a conversation without getting incensed all while accusing everybody else of the very same thing ur guilty of, then you aren't making the best case for yourself.

The irony is amazing...lol!

Cool

Please stop quoting me

 

[knl14]

Funny how the question in the OP was directed at males yet multiple females who BARELY post felt the need to inject opinions that werent asked for in order to push a certain narrative

Again, you're talking gibberish. You as a female do not know what defines a man PERIOD. You seek out certain traits and HOPE that these traits add up to a man at the end of the day

My respect of the Male head of my household as a child dictates how I will raise my kids if I have any PERIOD.

If you dont understand that then you were never meant to and you probably shouldnt posting about this topic

Go preach that matriarchal bs to someone that cares

Cuz I truly dont.

Most of yall cant spot a healthy relationship in the first place. Who tf do you think you to criticize a man for wanting structure in house?

This is an open forum and the question wasn’t even directed at men. When your version of manhood is propped up on what you think to be womanhood, us women every right to comment. You’re offering the argument that as the man, women should serve you first. That we serve a secondary role to you and must defer to you. Is that not you both implicit and explicitly attempting to define womanhood?

What’s “funny” is the fact that eighty plus people voted against your position, vast majority of them being men. So how is it we’re the ones pushing a “certain narrative?”

 

[xCivicx]

This is an open forum and the question wasn’t even directed at men. When your version of manhood is propped up on what you think to be womanhood, us women every right to comment. You’re offering the argument that as the man, women should serve you first. That we serve a secondary role to you and must defer to you. Is that not you both implicit and explicitly attempting to define womanhood?

What’s “funny” is the fact that eighty plus people voted against your position, vast majority of them being men. So how is it we’re the ones pushing a “certain narrative?”

I cant speak for the men that arent the HOH with respect to their families

You can define womanhood however you want. I define what I allow around me and/or in my household

But like I said before brehs, good luck with these types of females out here

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

your parents are cool, i like the dynamic they have. imo thats the way to do it

It was awesome to see and I think i took for granted the life they provided for us b/c I assumed it was like that for everyone. They've been a great example.

U make a good point books about man should serve his woman if she done everything else.

I always thought woman dont really trip to hard on that.

But some may like it

I think as long as people are working together you are good!

Cool

Please stop quoting me

Didn't you initiate this conversation by quoting me first anyway?!
Sure boss and you can avoid future conversations by not quoting me and then---u know what...lmao no problem.