THE CAUCASIAN’S GUIDE TO BLACK BARBECUES

[Super Future Luther King Jr.]

I'm sure someone already beat me to this but

You have never been to a BBQ, A Cookout, A kickback, nothing?

I've never thought about this before, but I've never been to a cookout/bbq. My grandmother would cook on Sundays sometimes and we would all congregate at her house...thats about the closest I've ever come to a bbq. We even had a grill growing up, but we never used it. It just sat there.

 

[TMNT4000]

No hate breh, you want to breed yourself out of existence that's cool, it's your life. Just saying that shyt does not happen in my family.

relatives in your family really get checked if they date out?

 

[Playeroni]

I can't remember the last time I went to a black cookout and was asked to bring something besides maybe liquor

Word,me too. I always ask if they need anything and i always get the "uhh yeah, the $40 bottle of henny or a loud pack".

The reception you get when you walk into the function holding that bottle of henny

 

[Jimi Swagger]

I can't remember the last time I went to a black cookout and was asked to bring something besides maybe liquor

That is bringing something. Last time I went to a black hood cookout (been a while), we weren't asked to bring anything but the homie that I came with had to help with the grill and the event started 1.5 hours late. I help the ladies setup the food table mind you these were not close friends and fam. Had a blast though. I don't experience that at buppie, white or chicano events though mexicans tend to be late as shyt too as well as "upper echelon" blacks. I just show up and if asked to bring something when I arrive things are already setup and popping and I don't have to help out. When I host parties I have people bring themselves since I don't want people being late and I can kick my guests out when I get tired of them and they don't have to pack up shyt.

 

[Tommy Knocks]

Dude that wrote this article aint black. He is a Negro

pretty sure negro is black in spanish.....

 

[Tommy Knocks]

I like chilling with my Mexican homies, I feel like I am at a family reunion with spicier food, nicer tattoos, more pit bulls and stronger alcohol. Talk about rowdy, man don't get those cholos liquored up. A lot of love, laughter, dominos, and dancing though like at black cookouts. Also like black people, their kids birthday parties are more adults than children..

Im from LA this is so true :mjlolz:

 

[Tommy Knocks]

Yep some black people really like to stereotype their own race for the entertainment of white people. scust..

you guys be acting like youre ashamed to be black.

its for entertainment, not for white people.

there's a fukking website called stuffwhitepeoplelike, and its one of the biggest satire sites on the web. I dont think they're doing it to entertain black people.

black people satire all the time, in fact most black comedy is JUST THAT. what is wrong with some of yall nikkas man

 

[Jimi Swagger]

Im from LA this is so true :mjlolz:

SW San Diego transplant here. I think people need to live in So Cal or South Florida (Broward County downward) at least once in their life to experience the diverse fukkery and warm weather. Nothing like it man.

 

[Brofato]

My cousin married a white dude, once he pulled up to my house (I was hosting) and he saw all the Black folks he was like 'See you in 3 hours, honey' and drove the fukk off.

My cousin brought his white baby mama to our last cookout. She's fully hunkered down into the family though. She hopped onto the court with us to play basketball, too. Guess there are two types lol.

 

[↓R↑LYB]

That is bringing something. Last time I went to a black hood cookout (been a while), we weren't asked to bring anything but the homie that I came with had to help with the grill and the event started 1.5 hours late. I help the ladies setup the food table mind you these were not close friends and fam. Had a blast though. I don't experience that at buppie, white or chicano events though mexicans tend to be late as shyt too as well as "upper echelon" blacks. I just show up and if asked to bring something when I arrive things are already setup and popping and I don't have to help out. When I host parties I have people bring themselves since I don't want people being late and I can kick my guests out when I get tired of them and they don't have to pack up shyt.

Stop it breh. Dude was talking about bringing food and nikkas arguing over plates and wanting to take food back home. Like I said I've been going to BBQ all summer and aint none of that shyt happen. The most you'll get asked to bring is liquor but even then its not a requirement. IDK what kinda bum ass nikkas y'all hang with but stop butting that bullshyt on black people as a whole.

 

[Jimi Swagger]

first of all it aint a bbq if these songs aint playin

Fixed. No immediate African or West Indian in your fam or bloodline, fam? These are staples for black cookouts too. Threw in some EWF for good measure

 

[Jimi Swagger]

Stop it breh. Dude was talking about bringing food and nikkas arguing over plates and wanting to take food back home. Like I said I've been going to BBQ all summer and aint none of that shyt happen. The most you'll get asked to bring is liquor but even then its not a requirement. IDK what kinda bum ass nikkas y'all hang with but stop butting that bullshyt on black people as a whole.

No one said blacks I said hood, and clearly distinguished buppies events as well. Take that bullshyt elsewhere. I am bourgeois and honestly don't give a fukk but giving my observations and experience.

 

[wickedsm]

the gospel music and fighting nah.
But depending how late it gets you may very well have uncle pete say about the final crazy thing to cousin joe
and some shyt might break off.
or uncle junior is finally so drunk that he starts complaining about his ungreatful kids and wife and goes off somewhere to cry.


ETA- i thought the list was funny and saw alot of truth in it.
I wouldnt want this shared or circulated amongst a whole bunch of white people though,
before they asses get any ideas and think they can speak on shyt they have no business speaking on

 

[wickedsm]

I can't remember the last time I went to a black cookout and was asked to bring something besides maybe liquor

youre a man. your list of potential to bring items is gonna be liquor beer soda plates cups or luminum foil.
usually just liquor though.

although it seems like no matter how much drank we start out with somebody end up makin a run at some point during the cookout.

 

[hoodheronova]

N*gga forgot the cousin's fine ass friend that I'm bagging at the end of the night and smashing in the next 2 weeks