THE CAUCASIAN’S GUIDE TO BLACK BARBECUES

[ORDER_66]

DO NOT PLAY SPADES. Even if your black friend tries to teach you how to play. They gon’ get you fukkED UP. No matter what you do, don’t get on the spades table talking bout you “learned” how to play. You do not learn how to play Spades. Black people just know. Like we just know how to do the electric slide or get diabetes.

Plus, if you mess around and renege, your partner is gonna give you the side-eye all night when they take those three books.

Plus, you might get in your feelings over the shyt talking, because James is gonna call you a bytch. He always does that.

Plus, if your spades game is weak no one is gonna want to be your friend…

Not even Tasha’s boyfriend.

Someone always fighting over spades....

 

[Medulla Oblongata]

first of all it aint a bbq if these songs aint playin

 

[The 2020 New Member]

Funny. Possibly just ahead of the curve.

 

[Londilon]

I'm sick of shyt that reads like a natural geographic article on black people like we are animals or some shyt.

 

[brother walt]

im black as night but this shyt funny that liquor shid true

 

[Gil Scott-Heroin]

fukk these muhfukkas. They gon go to their own cookouts. fukk why they gon come around here for. shyt.

 

[BlackFruitPunch]

Cornball nikka shyt

 

[Playeroni]

I'm sick of shyt that reads like a natural geographic article on black people like we are animals or some shyt.

i agree only for them to turn around and jack shyt.

 

[606onit]

Way da liquor at????
kind of c00n enunciation is that???

 

[TooLazyToMakeUp1]

A. Bring a bottle of dark liquor.
B. Keep it in the trunk of your car.
C. SOMEONE (usually Tasha’s new boyfriend) is gonna ask “way da liquor at.”
D. Wait (I know you’ll want to rush up to him or say something, but ignore your white people timing instincts just this one time.)
E. When he changes the subject, walk over to him and say “walk to my car with me.” He’ll know what you mean.
F. When you pop that trunk, you’ll have a friend for life.

This part is a little bit too accurate

 

[MoonGoddess]

 

[CACarot]

As a man who frequents these black functions as a homeboy invite or dating somebodies daughter

The walk with me to the car and popping the trunk with alcohol in it part is incredibly true.

The music part about changing from 2chains to Donnie Mcclurkin gospel is incredibly untrue and I'm sure was made up for the sake of comedy.

 

[GYAAAL YA PUM PUM FAT!]

I wonder how many nikkas will reply to this shyt while thinking a cac wrote it.....

 

[sayyestothis]

We code name the walk to the car as going out front to "have a conversation"...

 

[GetInTheTruck]

sounds kinda racist