The Coli Bachelor Handbook

[Akata Man Bromo]

I like when you guys said:

-An ottoman makes for the best perch to put a chic on for doggie style

-Have a decent soundsystem for music thru out the crib

Fruity drinks in fridge or tart drink makes a chics mouth juicy

2-3lbs of ground turkey/beef

- never tolerate a woman showin up to your crib unannounced,

snacks on snacks, drinks on drinks brehs

MOIST WIPES are a must - you are NOT showering at my place unless you are my exclusive girl
bedroom

Keep different playlists on deck and ready to go. the 'chillin' on the couch' mix,

get a nice living plant. something that you have to take care of. women dig that shyt for some reason.

get a nice living plant. something that you have to take care of. women dig that shyt for some reason.


Have candles lit in the bathroom,so the females don't have to turn on the bright azz bathroom light (it keeps the mood sexy)





Above are my favorites so salute u you nikkas…..



I would only add,, why get a big screen tv? I have 2 LG joint, a 55 inch, and a 60. I keep them at my moms house.
I have a projector that hooks to laptop and other devices – turn the lights off… 60 something inch right on the wall and the picture is pretty good. bytches seem to react well to it so far cuz I haven’t had to “talk “ my way into some p*ssy yet… I just look over and we get it poppin.





HOW do you manage this though???… I have a real tough time w this shyt. I don’t know how to do it right:::

one of u said:

“If u are fuccin with multiple chicks, make sure all of your bases are covered. Don't be tellin chick A, that u won't be home, when u have chick B all up your crib. Keep it real with these hoes. Because nothin is worse, tha havin 1 of your jumpoffs, show up unannounced when your other chick is at your crib.”

School me on this breh

 

[GoFlipAPack]

Blue tooth speakers...Thank me later.

I was thinking bout getting a Big Jambox

 

[Akata Man Bromo]

I was thinking bout getting a Big Jambox

Do it, they look pretty dope and the sound and good breh...

 

[Blackking]

School me on this breh

on what, the projector.

it's only good if you have great artwork on your walls n shyt... and a peaceful environment. The picture is better if you turn the lights off or low ( so thats a built in excuse to do so without being wierd)

You get one with a remote. The picture is pretty large and doesn't need to be supported by a wack wall mount, or even wacker TV stand. Plus its cheaper than getting a 60 inch flat TV. It's different and hoes like different..

Along with all that other shyt the other posters mentioned- u can close any deal. Of course this is all irrelevant for old chicks, smuts, or your main chick- u that pus should be automatic. .

I'm talking about women who would expect to be wify or who are 8+

 

[ISO]

Also, make sure you got at least 30GB of R&B cuts in your music collection. Music is for the bytches, not you nikka. These hoes ain't trying to hear the newest immortal technique mixtape

...

 

[Blackking]

one thing I learned a long time ago.... never be that guy that within 5 minutes of meeting you a woman can sum you up....

this is actually rule number 1, especially these days.

 

[CakeEater]

Got a slore coming over tomorrow , to this thread

 

[mcellas]

Coli interior designer brehs I need some suggestions for my living room shyt kind of skinny but I want to put a projector and a sectional couch can y'all give me some suggestions I'm not good at these things this thread inspired me

 

[wild100sboy]

uppin this thread for some more good ideas. a brotha getting his own spot in May

 

[Mowgli]

Try to end you dates around 930 or 10 pm

When you get to this time ask her if shes tired. If she says no then she wants to fukk or at the least fool around.

Suggest going back to the crib for movie or tv drinks and or conversation. The rest is in your hands.

I have a 100 percent success rate getting laid in this manner.

Women who don't wanna fukk will take any out they can get to go back home.

 

[Mr. Jack Napier]

Had to bump this thread with all the goodies. Any ideas on TVs or furniture?

 

[sfgiants]

i always wash my bed sheets when im gona have a bytch over the crib
1. the whole house gona smell like fresh laundry
2. bytches love the scent of clean laundry
3. sheets soft as fukk + smelling like downey + your room smelling extra clean

i mentioned this in the uber thread a few days back... but if u tryna get rid of a bytch at the end of a night of torrid unabashed sex n dont wana drive her home, search for uber/lyft codes on twitter. they're usually good for around 20$. this is assuming the bytch didnt drive to your crib.

whoever mentioned stocking your fridge with drinks in here, cosign 100%. i always have water/vitamin waters/ pineapple juice / redbulls ready.

candles cosign, but i do one better and got me one of these:

^^ those cubes are scented wax, theres a heat lamp in that shyt that melts the wax. advantage is you just turn on and off like a lamp, no lighters or smoke when you blow the candle out
shytload of scents available too.

reduce the clutter in your crib as much as possible. aside from regular furniture, i dont have shyt in my apartment.

trim your fingernails too so you dont lacerate a bytch's birth canal when you're fingering her

 

[Steve Piffler]

YHHHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

i been outta the game for a minute, so i'll be using this shyt starting in January. Can't wait

i used that "boil some smell good liquid" idea before when i was a bachelor. my jamaican homie put me on to that. let me add on to the list:

1. stash rubbers all over the house. never know when or where in your crib you will get shyt poppin'. better to just reach for a rubber than to have to stop and go to another room to get one.
2. Keep different playlists on deck and ready to go. the 'chillin' on the couch' mix, the 'having dinner' mix, the having a glass of wine and playing a boardgame' mix, the 'make sweet love' mix, the 'beat that p*ssy up' mix, and for the hoodrats, the 'bounce that ass, bytch' mix
3. get a nice living plant. something that you have to take care of. women dig that shyt for some reason.
4. get a nice set of wine glasses and always have a couple of bottles of wine in the fridge (unless it's red wine. then it's room temp.)

i can't wait to get into my place. i'm buying TV's this weekend and having them hung on the wall. shyt is gonna be DOPE!

hilarious

 

[Bless't]

i always wash my bed sheets when im gona have a bytch over the crib
1. the whole house gona smell like fresh laundry
2. bytches love the scent of clean laundry
3. sheets soft as fukk + smelling like downey + your room smelling extra clean

i mentioned this in the uber thread a few days back... but if u tryna get rid of a bytch at the end of a night of torrid unabashed sex n dont wana drive her home, search for uber/lyft codes on twitter. they're usually good for around 20$. this is assuming the bytch didnt drive to your crib.

whoever mentioned stocking your fridge with drinks in here, cosign 100%. i always have water/vitamin waters/ pineapple juice / redbulls ready.

candles cosign, but i do one better and got me one of these:

^^ those cubes are scented wax, theres a heat lamp in that shyt that melts the wax. advantage is you just turn on and off like a lamp, no lighters or smoke when you blow the candle out
shytload of scents available too.

reduce the clutter in your crib as much as possible. aside from regular furniture, i dont have shyt in my apartment.

trim your fingernails too so you dont lacerate a bytch's birth canal when you're fingering her

I may need to pick one those up.

 

[Strapped]

I may need to pick one those up.

Where did you buy the scented candles from