The culture of family members being a financial burden . . .

[Behind-the-wheel]

It is highly dysfunctional and I am ghost on holidays because I've been exploited as an ATM for years....

Why am I the parent when you the OG?

That ain't right man...That just ain't right.
You have my sympathy breh.

 

[Tom Foolery]

Don't really agree with this thread. Every culture I know kicks down a couple of dollars to family in need.

My issue is broke ass people that do nothing to improve there situation. There's conditions when giving money. Broke black people always wanna act like you being the breadwinner doesn't mean shyt.

 

[Behind-the-wheel]

I think the AA’s who said we don’t deal with this problem came from well off families. They don’t have the same experiences as AAs who grew up poor and were one of the first folks in their family to go to college and make real money.

And forget 100K....more like 50K and your mom think you balling now and she asking for help every month

My mother makes damn near what I make while she's retired.

I think about that every day and hate the fact that I never got a straight govt/state/city job.
My dad has 3 businesses that he runs and is constantly working himself to the bone...but he clears over 200k a year. Now, that's "Comfortable" nowadays in NYC...but it's also a problem.
I don't have to worry about my moms and pops ever asking me for anything....but...it's also the primary reason my siblings don't ever try to stand on their own two feet and will be "AintShyt" well into their 40's.


The one thing that burns me the fukk up is that my parents give my siblings EVERYTHING they ask for, while when I was coming up I had to write a fukking 3 page justification letter for a goddamn GI Joe.

I dont' get it. They were so fukkin hard on me...but they are so lax with my siblings.
I just don't fukkin get it...that shyt makes me mad if I think about it too long.

 

[get these nets]

The one thing that burns me the fukk up is that my parents give my siblings EVERYTHING they ask for, while when I was coming up I had to write a fukking 3 page justification letter for a goddamn GI Joe.

I dont' get it. They were so fukkin hard on me...but they are so lax with my siblings.
I just don't fukkin get it...that shyt makes me mad if I think about it too long.

Don't get upset. Perhaps them being hard on you helped make you the responsible adult you are today....and the coddling of your siblings began the enabling that stunted their growth.

 

[Behind-the-wheel]

Don't get upset. Perhaps them being hard on you helped make you the responsible adult you are today....and the coddling of your siblings began the enabling that stunted their growth.

You're right.
That's the one saving grace.
Their absence in my life forced me to get my own.
Everything I have...I earned on my own.
My houses, my cars, my money, my life...all my own.
My blood, My sweat, My tears.
I'm making sure that my son is well taken care of in his life.
He knows that his mom and I have his back...but he has to work for what he gets.
And he gets all the love he needs.
I'll be damned if he turns out like me...ever!
No fukkin way this planet needs another me.

 

[97Pac]

$300 a month for a junior enlisted person is a large amount of money breh.

plenty of cats in the military end up ruining themselves because they're attempting to support their families.

Had a AA cat i worked with have all his money stolen by his own mother. I think he told me he had $700 in the bank and his mother cleared it out. He called and she talking bout " but I raised you."

Another dude I worked with had his mom get a credit card in his name. He said he instantly knew it was her when he seen the charges. Ive heard plenty of stories.

I have 0 issue saying no. Everyone in my family calls me stingy. Its hard to get ahead in life when someone is always in your pockets. I aint calling them for money so I expect the same in return.

Had a uncle tell me maybe I shouldn't go on vacation so much and use the money to help family . It aint my fault they had kids at 17/18 out of wedlock and had to work some shytty low paying job, why should I suffer.

I drive a 10 year old car I payed cash for and they out her driving new cars making less than half my salary. The women in my family are the WOAT when it comes to dealing with money. I had a creh friend growing up whose mom was an accountant and they taught me about money becsuse I wasnt learning in my hosehold.

 

[get these nets]

Some people in developing foreign countries still beleive that the streets of America are paved with gold and that anybody in their family living & working here is doing well/rich . They don't become aware of the realities until they come here and see what it's like for themselves.

Spoke to my cous who just got back this weekend. He mentioned something that I was aware of, but not relating to this topic.

He said that people back in the home countries are confused. It's a justified confusion though.

On the one hand, they hear their relatives living in Western countries tell them about not having money to send them.
On the other hand, they see some of the behavior of their countrymen returning home for vacation. There's a segment who live/work in US/CANADA/EUROPE and are struggling . But front when they go on vacation back home. The exchange rate of $USD to the local currency allows them to ball out...bag DIMES...be the big man.....and rub their seeming success in the face of people they didn't get along with growing up who still live there.
To some of your relatives, it doesn't add up.

Family back home knows that you've lived abroad longer than the guy who is balling out. They also know that members of your family have more formal education than the guy balling out.
If he's rich, then you're filthy rich and just don't want to send them money.

 

[Behind-the-wheel]

Spoke to my cous who just got back this weekend. He mentioned something that I was aware of, but not relating to this topic.

He said that people back in the home countries are confused. It's a justified confusion though.

On the one hand, they hear their relatives living in Western countries tell them about not having money to send them.
On the other hand, they see some of the behavior of their countrymen returning home for vacation. There's a segment who live/work in US/CANADA/EUROPE and are struggling . But front when they go on vacation back home. The exchange rate of $USD to the local currency allows them to ball out...bag DIMES...be the big man.....and rub their seeming success in the face of people they didn't get along with growing up who still live there.
To some of your relatives, it doesn't add up.

Family back home knows that you've lived abroad longer than the guy who is balling out. They also know that members of your family have more formal education than the guy balling out.
If he's rich, then you're filthy rich and just don't want to send them money.

Ahhhhhhh.....ok...that makes sense.

 

[StarClout]

Moms gave me the foundation to get where I am and taught me money/responsibility. I afford my lifestyle off her teachings and am pretty good for a someone gunning for a Masters/PhD (almost finished with Masters ). She helped me in dark times when everyone else said no. Now that I’m back on my feet, they all wanna come back like they was down. Moms will ALWAYS be taken care of

The rest of them? They can fukk off, point blank. fukk I look like helping an abled bodied person that ain’t doing shyt with they lives cause they think someone in my field makes super racks off the bat? I them now and lowball them and put stipulations on it like cleaning my house or running my laundry. They balk and feel insulted but if you feel that way, go get a fukking job

Have that same exact energy you had when I was in undergrad

 

[EndDomination]

Its a big thing for the majority of the world, especially if you have family that lives in poverty. Part of the idea is that you're essentially an investment or an insurance policy. You make it big, and you help bring others aboard.

 

[NinoBrown]

That ain't right man...That just ain't right.
You have my sympathy breh.

Thanks breh.....family got the nerve to him me up...
[Calls in the middle of the day]
Ma Dukes: "Ayo Nino, my car payment and insurance coming in the same week"

Me: "Do you ever call with good news?"

Ma Dukes: "Such and such had a stroke"

Me: "I'll stop by later to help you out, but you gotta do better"

This financial burden business is bad news for us, it ages children faster and builds resentment, only good thing I got out of it was being very independent because no one had my back growing up.

 

[Big Simpin Losing Cheese]

Upped

 

[TheDarkskinnedDrake]

I used to try and help but I realized you can’t help people who don’t want to change there own circumstances. They will just drag you down with them

 

[Actually6Foot3]

Imma always help my mom when I'm on but to be honest she needs a therapist in my opinion. She is a borderline hoarder that is constantly spending money on bullshyt the amount of money she cod have saved is crazy.

And then when I come home my sis is like

"when are you buying us a house?"
Huh I love you but you buying your own damn house

I started making wayyyyy more money recently(I hide how much I make from everyone)
Scheduled to move out in April and the piece of mind I'm about to have is going to be worth these high NYC real estate prices

Gonna break mom dukes off a couple stacks when I move out as a thank you. She can do whatever with it. She held me down more times than I can remember so it the least I could do. But I'm ready to get out.

It's crazy how many in our community abandon trying to "get theirs" once someone they know makes it. Like theres an entitlement there.

 

[richaveli83]

It's a immigrant thing but definitely impacts a lot of African immigrants. It's killing my mom because she sends money to help out my brother and other family members. She doesn't make much so whenever she sends money back to Nigeria I can expect a call from mom to help her out with her bills.

I don't mind too much since I make good money but I know when my mom dies that everyone in Nigeria is going to look towards me. What's crazy is the majority of my family in Nigeria I've never physically met or if I met them it was when I was a child when I last went to Nigeria which was nearly 30 years ago.

They think everyone in America is balling. They don't realize how wrong they are.